Building Meaningful Friendships in a Lonely World

We were made in the image of God, which means we're relational, and because we're relational, human beings are social creatures. We're made to be together, we're better together. We're not made to be solitary. And so the Bible has a lot to say. I went through all of the scriptures this week that deal with loneliness, with friendship, friendliness. There are literally hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of verses in the Bible about the importance of you having friends. You need 'em not just for your happiness, you need 'em for your health. [00:02:48]

But your closest friends should not be the result of circumstance, they should be the result of choices. My choices, not my circumstances, but my choices. Your close friends should not be accidental. You should choose them wisely, because you can't be close to everybody. Now the fact is, the closer I am to people in my life, and the closer people are to me in my life, the greater the impact, the greater the influence they're gonna have on my life. [00:04:34]

Jesus loved everybody. He fed the 5,000, he trained the 120, he discipled 12, he mentored three. I'll say it again, Jesus loved everybody. There was nobody Jesus didn't love. He fed the 5,000, he trained 120, he discipled 12, he mentored three. Only Peter, James, and John got to go in the Garden of Gethsemane. Only Peter, James, and John got to go up on the Mount of Transfiguration. [00:08:11]

So you need to go home and make this circle list, because some of you are stressed out because you have too many VDPs, and you don't have enough VIPs in your life. You know the difference. VIPs are very inspirational people. VIPs very, VDPs are very draining people. Now, don't look at 'em. Be cool. When you have more VDPs than you have VIPs in your life, that's called stress, friend. [00:09:16]

Choose friends who encourage me spiritually. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says this. Encourage one another and build each other up. Now here's the thing, this verse isn't talking about compliments. There's a difference between compliments and encouragement. Compliments are nice, but they tend to be shallow. A compliment, "Oh, Kurt, your teeth look really shiny tonight," right? That's a compliment. [00:23:59]

Choose friends who consistently support me emotionally. I love this verse, Proverbs 17:17 says this. A friend loves you all the time. Do me a favor and underline that, all the time. A friend loves you all the time like a brother born to help in trouble. Now, it's been said that a true friend, and how you judge your true friends is that a true friend walks in when everybody else walks out. [00:28:49]

Proverbs 13:20 says if you keep company with wise friends you'll become wise, but if you make friends with foolish people, your life will fall to pieces. You see, I like to be friends with people who kind of think like I do. I like to be friends with people who have some of the same dumb beliefs, dumb opinions, strange worldview. I like people who are like me. [00:30:56]

To have great friends, I must be a great friend. You wanna write that one down, that's where we're going now in the next part of this message. To have great friends, I have to be a great friend. I can't expect people to be to me what I'm not being to them. And so whatever I want other people to do with me, I need to do with them. You will attract what you are. [00:35:36]

Be cheerful, greet people with a smile. Now, that may seem kinda obvious. But when you take a friend for granted, you often don't smile at 'em. There is an enormous power in a simple smile. A smile can change an atmosphere overnight. Instantly it can change a room. The shortest distance between two people is a smile. A smile is a universal language. It is known all around the world. [00:36:13]

Be conversational by asking questions. If you're talking with somebody, you're just meeting 'em for the time and you're asking them questions about themselves, that's called a conversation. If you're talking with somebody and all you're doing is talking about yourself, that's called a monologue. That is not a conversation. When you're going and you're trying to impress everybody with how cool you are, that's a monologue. [00:46:00]

Romans 15:7 says, accept each other just as Christ accepted you. All the research shows, all the research shows that the antidote to loneliness, the primary antidote to loneliness is healthy friendships. Over and over and over and over again, the antidote to loneliness is healthy friendships. And the key to healthy friendships is to look at the model, and Jesus Christ is the model. [01:02:41]

Are your friends helping or hindering your spiritual growth? You know, dating the wrong person can cause you to miss God's purpose. Are you a great friend to others? Which of these eight building blocks that we just went through do you need to work on yourself? Which of your friends do you need to invite to church? I wanna close with one last verse, and it's John 15:15, where Jesus says, "I have called you my friends." [01:05:04]