Building Lasting Relationships Through Love and Intentionality
Summary
Today, we gathered to celebrate the gift of freedom in Christ and to honor the mothers among us, recognizing the sacred responsibility and fleeting nature of parenthood. We dedicated children to the Lord, affirming that every child is precious in God’s sight, created in His image, and in need of redemption through Jesus. As parents, we are called to make every moment count, investing intentionally in our children’s spiritual growth and cherishing the memories we create together.
Turning our focus to marriage, we continued our “Fixer Upper” series, drawing parallels between remodeling a house and building a strong relationship. Just as a home requires demolition, a solid foundation, and quality materials, so too does a marriage demand honest self-examination, Christ-centeredness, and sacrificial investment. The cost of a lasting marriage is high—it requires patience, humility, perseverance, and a willingness to serve rather than be served.
1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that love is not a fleeting feeling but a daily choice. Love is patient and kind, not self-seeking or easily angered. True love endures through hardship, keeps no record of wrongs, and always hopes. In marriage and in all relationships, love is not about getting our way or winning arguments, but about laying down our pride and seeking the good of the other. Humility is the antidote to pride, and only by putting aside our egos can we build relationships that reflect Christ’s love for the church.
Endurance is essential. Just as a house is never truly finished—always needing maintenance and care—so our marriages and relationships require ongoing effort. The storms of life will come, but patience and perseverance will see us through. Encouragement and support are vital; when we uplift one another, we build resilience that carries us through difficult seasons.
Finally, love pays in presence. It shows up, even when it’s hard or inconvenient. Love is active, intentional, and personal. We are called to invest on purpose—emotionally, physically, spiritually, and practically. Whether in marriage, friendship, or our walk with Christ, the call is the same: show up, do the hard things, and put Christ first. When we do, we experience the blessing and transformation that only God can bring.
Key Takeaways
- Cherish the Fleeting Moments and Invest Intentionally
Parenthood and marriage are both marked by seasons that pass quickly. The “marble jar” illustration reminds us to make every moment count, not just by providing for our families, but by being present and intentional in spiritual and relational investment. The memories we create and the spiritual legacy we leave are far more lasting than any material gift. [31:49]
- Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling
True love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13, is patient, kind, and enduring. It is not dependent on emotions or circumstances, but is a daily decision to act in the best interest of the other, even when it’s difficult or unrewarding. This kind of love is what sustains marriages and relationships through the inevitable challenges and disappointments of life. [45:27]
- Humility Over Pride: The Foundation of Lasting Relationships
Pride and selfishness are destructive forces in any relationship, leading to division and isolation. Humility, on the other hand, opens the door to genuine connection, healing, and growth. By choosing to serve rather than be served, and by seeking to outdo one another in love, we reflect the heart of Christ and build relationships that endure. [01:00:08]
- Endurance and Encouragement Build Resilience
Relationships are not sustained by avoiding hardship, but by persevering through it together. Consistent encouragement and support create a foundation of trust and hope, enabling couples and families to weather life’s storms. The willingness to keep showing up, even when it’s hard, is what transforms temporary struggles into lasting strength. [01:08:57]
- Love Pays in Presence and Purposeful Action
Love is not passive; it requires us to show up, to be present, and to invest on purpose. Whether it’s through small acts of service, words of encouragement, or simply being there in difficult times, love is demonstrated by our actions. In both our relationships and our walk with God, intentional investment and presence are what bring about true transformation and blessing. [01:13:07]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[20:22] - Opening Prayer and Worship
[24:05] - Gratitude for Freedom and Grace
[25:34] - Mother’s Day Greetings
[28:03] - The Value of Family Dedication
[29:29] - Children’s Need for Redemption
[30:39] - Scriptural Call to Raise Children in Faith
[31:49] - The Marble Jar: Making Every Moment Count
[33:33] - Prayer of Dedication for Families
[35:50] - Mother’s Day Gift and Celebration
[38:16] - Marriage Series: Fixer Upper
[40:04] - The Cost of Building a Strong Marriage
[43:59] - 1 Corinthians 13: The Nature of Love
[45:27] - Love is Patient: Choosing to Love When It’s Hard
[49:15] - Marriage as a Lifelong Construction Project
[51:06] - Patience and Perseverance in Relationships
[54:15] - Focusing on the Present in Marriage
[57:16] - Love Endures and Is Not About You
[01:00:08] - Humility: The Antidote to Pride
[01:08:14] - Love Never Gives Up: Endurance in Marriage
[01:12:06] - Love Pays in Presence and Action
[01:15:30] - Homework: Investing on Purpose
[01:17:37] - Applying These Principles to Our Walk with Christ
[01:19:20] - Announcements and Closing Blessing
Study Guide
Small Group Bible Study Guide: “Fixer Upper: Love, Marriage, and Making Every Moment Count”
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### Bible Reading
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
- Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
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### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, what are some specific qualities that define real love?
2. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, what does God command parents to do with His Word in relation to their children?
3. The sermon used the “marble jar” illustration. What does each marble represent, and what is the purpose of this practice? [[31:49]]
4. What are some “cheap materials” in marriage that the pastor warned against using, and what happens when we cut corners in our relationships? [[41:26]]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does the Bible describe love as patient and kind, rather than as a feeling or emotion? How does this challenge our culture’s view of love? [[45:27]]
2. The sermon said, “Love isn’t about you.” What does it look like in real life to put someone else’s needs before your own in a relationship? [[57:16]]
3. The pastor compared marriage to a house that is never truly finished. What does this analogy teach us about the ongoing work required in relationships? [[49:15]]
4. How does humility act as an “antidote” to pride in marriage and other relationships? Why is pride so destructive? [[01:00:08]]
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### Application Questions
1. The “marble jar” is a reminder that our time with our children is limited. If you’re a parent, what is one intentional way you can invest in your child’s spiritual growth this week? If you’re not a parent, how can you invest in the next generation or someone you mentor? [[31:49]]
2. Think about your closest relationship (spouse, friend, family member). When was the last time you chose to love that person even when it was hard or inconvenient? What did that look like, and what was the result? [[45:27]]
3. The pastor challenged us to “swallow our ego and choose humility.” Is there a specific area in your marriage or another relationship where pride has gotten in the way? What would it look like to take a humble step this week? [[01:00:08]]
4. The sermon said, “Love pays in presence.” Are there ways you have been physically present but emotionally or spiritually absent in your relationships? What is one thing you can do to be more intentionally present this week? [[01:13:07]]
5. When was the last time you encouraged your spouse, child, or close friend? What is a specific word of encouragement you can give them this week? [[01:08:57]]
6. The pastor gave homework: “Ask your spouse (or a close friend/family member), ‘What do you need more of from me?’” Are you willing to ask this question? What do you think their answer might be, and how will you respond? [[01:15:30]]
7. In your walk with Christ, are you “showing up” and doing the hard things, or have you been coasting? What is one practical step you can take this week to put Christ first in your daily life? [[01:17:37]]
---
Close in prayer, asking God to help you love with patience, humility, and presence in all your relationships.
Devotional
Day 1: Love Is Patient and Endures Through Trials
True love is not just a fleeting feeling but a choice to remain patient and steadfast, even when circumstances are difficult or progress seems slow. Just as building a house takes time, effort, and perseverance, so does building a strong marriage or relationship. There will be seasons when it feels like nothing is changing or improving, but patient love keeps working, keeps hoping, and keeps showing up. Patience is not simply waiting, but maintaining a good attitude and a spirit of perseverance while you wait, trusting that every storm will eventually pass and that endurance will yield a harvest of blessing. [45:27]
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Reflection: Where in your relationships or life do you need to choose patience today, even when it feels like nothing is changing?
Day 2: Love Is Not About You
Real love is marked by humility and selflessness, not pride or selfish ambition. In a world that constantly tells us to look out for ourselves, true love asks, "What do you need?" instead of "What do I want?" Pride and ego can quickly turn our loved ones into adversaries, but humility opens the door to deeper connection and healing. Swallowing your pride and choosing to serve others, especially in your closest relationships, is one of the greatest investments you can make—not just in marriage, but in your walk with God and with others. [01:01:17]
Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Reflection: What is one area where you can lay down your pride and serve someone else’s needs above your own today?
Day 3: Love Never Gives Up
Enduring love is not just for the easy days; it is proven in the moments of pressure, pain, and disappointment. Anyone can love when things are going well, but real love is revealed when you choose to encourage, support, and stand by your loved ones through every circumstance. Consistent encouragement and support build endurance and strength of character, helping relationships weather the storms of life. Just as Christ never gives up on us, we are called to love with a hope and endurance that does not quit, even when it’s hard. [01:08:57]
Romans 5:3-4 (ESV)
"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope."
Reflection: Who in your life needs a word of encouragement from you today, and how can you intentionally build them up?
Day 4: Love Shows Up—Be Present and Invest on Purpose
Love is not just something you say; it’s something you do. Being present, showing up, and investing intentionally in your relationships—emotionally, physically, spiritually, and practically—makes all the difference. Whether it’s taking on a task your spouse usually does, initiating a hard conversation, or simply being there when it’s tough, love is active and intentional. The small, everyday choices to show up, support, and communicate are what build lasting relationships and reflect the love of Christ in our lives. [01:13:07]
1 John 3:18 (ESV)
"Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
Reflection: What is one specific way you can show up and be present for someone you love today, even if it costs you time or comfort?
Day 5: Build on Christ—Put God First in All Relationships
The foundation of every strong relationship and marriage is Christ. When you put God first—seeking Him in prayer, reading His Word, and asking for His help—you become a better spouse, friend, and follower of Jesus. Investing in your relationship with God equips you to love others with patience, humility, and endurance. No matter what season you are in, prioritize your walk with Christ, and let His love flow through you into every relationship and area of your life. [01:18:02]
Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Reflection: How can you intentionally put Christ first in your life and relationships this week, and what step will you take today to do so?
Quotes
Children are precious to God. Their lives are sacred because they are created in God's image to have the capacity of personally relating to Him. We do all we can to raise our kids to fear God and to push them into the things of God. And then at some point, we've got to let them fly out right on their own. [00:29:00]
What this is to signify is, is over time, as you're taking those marbles out, it slowly dwindles until there's nothing left in that jar. And it serves as a reminder that I've got to take every moment I can to turn my children towards God and to raise them in the fear of the Lord. [00:32:51]
They won't remember every present I ever bought them. What they will remember is how present mom and dad were in their lives. And the memories that you make. Amen? Here's what I want you to do. Make every moment count. And make sure they understand what that moment means in the greater scheme of things with God. [00:33:22]
Now, not only do they get to raise these boys, but we have a mandate, too, to support them and to help them on that journey because the Christian faith we don't do alone. Amen? It takes all of us. [00:35:22]
There's always something we can do in our marriages, right? There's always something. We talked about demo week one, and that we've got to get the rod out, and we've got to get some things out of our lives. Babe, was there anything that we had to deal with in our marriage? Listen, we did our homework time, and it almost turned into a fight. [00:39:25]
If your foundation is not built on Christ, it will crumble. And we talked about influences that we bring into our marriages, good and bad, that we bring into our relationships and our walks with Christ, good and bad. [00:40:26]
Marriage is built on a lot of effort, a lot of grace, a lot of time, a lot of tears. Those of you that aren't married, those of you that are dating, those of you that want to be married one day, let me tell you this. If you don't put in work, it's not going to last. [00:43:10]
Patient love means choosing to love the other person even when you don't feel like it. Patient love means loving somebody when it isn't easy, when you've been wronged, when you haven't been done right, you still choose to love. That's called patient love. [00:45:51]
Love is patient. Love is a choice. And when we love, when it's hard, and when we love, when it doesn't come as fast and as easy as we think it would, love, in that sense, endures, right? Love that lasts is love that works, especially when it's slow, when it's frustrating and not very rewarding. [00:47:50]
We will never be done building what God wants to do in and through us. Even when you get the sheetrock up on the walls. Even when you get the lights hung up in the house, you've got to paint it. You've got to put the floor down. You've got to do trim. And then the kids come along, and they knock some trim out, and you've got to redo it. You're never done with your house. [00:49:48]
Patience is not the ability to wait. It's the ability to keep a good attitude while we wait. Maya Angelou said that every storm runs out of rain. Every storm eventually runs out of rain. Every storm can't stay a storm forever. The worst storms I've ever seen in my life at some point run out of gas. [00:51:19]
Most marriages don't last today. Most relationships don't last because we don't know how to wait and we don't know how to serve. We don't know how to wait and we don't know how to serve. [00:53:07]
Relationships are consistent effort from both people. Not 50 -50. I heard that growing up a kid. Relationships are 50 -50. I got to give 50. She got to give. No. You got to give 100%. Both parties 100%, 100 % of the time. And when we endure and when we keep going, good things come. [00:54:09]
It's not how we start our marriages. It's how we finish. Hear me. Ecclesiastes 7, 8 says finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride. Because the true measure of a marriage is its ability to last. Past all the junk, past all the mess, past all the failures. [00:55:07]
Here's the thing about love. It lasts. And it endures long days. And it endures long nights. And it gives long grace. [00:57:35]
Love is about giving, not getting. Here's our problem. We live in a world that says get, get, get. We live in a world that we become prideful and boastful. And we say, look at me. And look what I got. We live in a world that doesn't say lay yourself down for somebody else. [00:59:28]
One of the greatest investments that you can make in your marriage is swallowing your ego and choosing humility. I'm going to say it again because I feel like somebody missed it. One of the greatest investments that you can make in your marriage is swallowing your ego and choosing humility. [01:00:27]
When you're prideful, you literally make your spouse the enemy. Did you know that? That when we are prideful, we are literally making the other person our enemy in opposition. And God calls us to be humble because the only thing that corrects pride, the only antidote for it is humility. [01:04:18]
When you try to outdo them and do better than they're doing for you, you know what happens? It becomes this thing in your life where you're constantly doing more to show your love for them. And it builds your relationship and it strengthens it. [01:08:00]
Anyone can love when it's easy. But what about when there's pressure? What about when there's pressure? When money's tight? When feelings fade? When pain enters the picture? That's when you find out what love you're building with. Because real love doesn't quit. [01:08:41]
Love endures. Love carries the burdens. Believes the best. And rejoices even in failure. I made a comment last week about how marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for the church. And just as Christ never gives up, love never gives up in our marriages. [01:10:47]
Love shows up. Love is active. Love is intentional. And love is personal. I want you to look at 1 Corinthians 13 .47 with me again. This is what it says. We read it a while ago, but we're going to read it again. Again, love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. [01:11:35]
Love isn't something you feel. It's something you do. What does the first part of Proverbs 17 .17 say? It says, a friend loves at all times. 1 John 3 .18 says, dear children, let's not merely say we love each other. Let us show the truth by our, what? Actions. Love shows up. [01:12:54]
When it's hard, show up. When you want to check out, show up. Stay present. Support. Communicate. Find solutions together. Forgive. Just show up. Here's the truth. Love that shows up changes everything. [01:14:33]
Because in our walk with Christ, it's about showing up. It's about doing the hard things. It's about taking time to read the word of God and to pray and to be present every day with the Lord. You want to be a better husband and you want to be a better wife? Get on your knees before a God who loves you. [01:17:42]
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