Building Lasting Marriages Through Intentional Love and Commitment
Summary
In today's message, we explored the profound and divine blueprint for marriage as outlined in Genesis. The essence of marriage is not merely about finding the right person but about creating a great relationship through intentional love and commitment. We delved into the concept of the "law of first mentions" in Genesis, which sets the foundation for understanding God's creative order and His intentions for marriage. This divine order is a model for us to follow, emphasizing the importance of being fully known and fully loved, mirroring the gospel's message of God's love for us.
We live in a world that often disciples us in ways contrary to biblical teachings, especially regarding marriage and relationships. The world promotes a narrative of finding a soulmate, a notion rooted in Greco-Roman philosophy, which can lead to disillusionment and dissatisfaction. Instead, we are called to love in a covenantal way, as Christ loved us, with no guarantee of reciprocation. This love is an act of will, not merely a feeling, and it requires us to continually choose to love our spouse despite their imperfections.
The sermon also highlighted the importance of prioritizing marriage, pursuing our spouse, and maintaining purity and partnership. These elements are crucial for a thriving marriage. We must replace lies with truth, shame with grace, and fear with faith, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us in our journey. The message concluded with a call to action, encouraging us to invest in our marriages, prioritize our spouses, and embrace the transformative power of God's love.
Key Takeaways:
1. Great Marriages Are Created, Not Found: The idea that a perfect soulmate exists is a myth. Instead, great marriages are built through intentional love, commitment, and perseverance. Love is an act of will, not just a feeling, and it requires us to choose to love our spouse daily, despite their imperfections. [06:24]
2. The Importance of Prioritizing Marriage: Marriage must be a priority in our lives. When we prioritize our spouse, it creates a cascading effect that brings life and vitality to the entire household. This prioritization is essential for a thriving marriage and family life. [39:46]
3. The Role of Purity and Intimacy: True intimacy in marriage is achieved through purity and exclusivity. It's not about practice but about being fully known and fully loved. Secrecy kills intimacy, and true connection comes from being open and honest with our spouse. [32:42]
4. The Power of Partnership: Marriage is a partnership where two become one. This fusion is a powerful force that requires us to work together, support each other, and grow together. It's about finishing each other's sentences and becoming a unified team. [12:47]
5. The Transformative Power of God's Love: God's love for us is the ultimate example of how we should love our spouse. It's a love that gives without expecting anything in return. By embracing this love, we can transform our marriages and experience the joy and fulfillment that comes from a covenantal relationship. [23:31]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [02:15] - Introduction to Marriage Blueprint
- [06:24] - Great Marriages Are Created
- [12:47] - The Power of Partnership
- [19:31] - Realities of Marriage
- [23:31] - Love as an Act of Will
- [27:10] - The Myth of the Soulmate
- [32:42] - Purity and Intimacy
- [36:29] - Prioritizing Your Marriage
- [39:46] - Investing in Your Relationship
- [44:47] - Closing Prayer and Invitation
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
- Genesis 2:21-25
- Mark 10:6-9
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Observation Questions:
1. According to Genesis 2:21-25, what does the creation of woman from man signify about the nature of marriage? How does this relate to the concept of being "fully known and fully loved"? [06:24]
2. In Mark 10:6-9, Jesus refers back to the creation account in Genesis. What does this passage reveal about God's original intention for marriage? [23:31]
3. The sermon mentioned the "law of first mentions" in Genesis. How does this principle help us understand the foundation of marriage according to the Bible? [06:24]
4. What are some of the societal narratives about marriage that the sermon suggests are contrary to biblical teachings? [19:31]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the idea of marriage as a covenant, rather than a contract, change the way one might approach their relationship with their spouse? [23:31]
2. The sermon discusses the myth of the soulmate. How does this concept differ from the biblical view of marriage, and what implications does this have for those seeking a partner? [27:10]
3. What does it mean to prioritize marriage, and how might this look different from the world's view of prioritizing personal happiness? [39:46]
4. How does the sermon suggest that purity and intimacy are connected in a marriage? What role does transparency play in achieving true intimacy? [32:42]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current relationship or marriage. In what ways can you intentionally choose to love your partner daily, despite their imperfections? [06:24]
2. Consider the societal pressures and narratives about marriage that you have encountered. How can you replace these with biblical truths in your own life? [19:31]
3. What practical steps can you take to prioritize your marriage this week? How might this affect other areas of your life, such as family or work? [39:46]
4. Think about a time when you felt fully known and fully loved. How can you create an environment in your marriage where both you and your spouse feel this way? [32:42]
5. The sermon emphasizes the power of partnership in marriage. How can you and your spouse work together as a team to support each other's growth and goals? [12:47]
6. Reflect on the transformative power of God's love in your life. How can embracing this love help you to love your spouse more deeply and selflessly? [23:31]
7. Identify one area in your marriage where you feel there is room for growth. What specific action can you take this week to address this area and strengthen your relationship? [36:29]
Devotional
Day 1: Intentional Love Builds Marriages
Great marriages are not discovered but crafted through intentional love, commitment, and perseverance. The notion of a perfect soulmate is a myth that can lead to disillusionment. Instead, love is an act of will, requiring daily choices to love your spouse despite their imperfections. This intentional love mirrors the covenantal love Christ has for us, which is not based on feelings but on a steadfast commitment. [06:24]
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8, ESV)
Reflection: What is one intentional act of love you can do for your spouse today that goes beyond your usual routine?
Day 2: Prioritizing Your Marriage
Marriage should be a top priority in your life, as it creates a ripple effect that brings vitality to the entire household. When you prioritize your spouse, it strengthens the foundation of your family life. This prioritization is essential for a thriving marriage, as it demonstrates the value and importance you place on your relationship. By investing time and energy into your marriage, you create a nurturing environment for love to flourish. [39:46]
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4, ESV)
Reflection: How can you rearrange your schedule this week to prioritize quality time with your spouse?
Day 3: Purity and Intimacy in Marriage
True intimacy in marriage is achieved through purity and exclusivity. It's about being fully known and fully loved, where secrecy has no place. Intimacy thrives in an environment of openness and honesty, allowing both partners to connect deeply. By maintaining purity, you protect the sanctity of your marriage and foster a relationship where both partners feel safe and cherished. [32:42]
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18, ESV)
Reflection: Are there any areas of secrecy in your marriage that need to be addressed to foster greater intimacy?
Day 4: The Power of Partnership
Marriage is a partnership where two become one, creating a powerful force that requires mutual support and growth. This partnership is about working together, finishing each other's sentences, and becoming a unified team. By embracing the power of partnership, you strengthen your bond and create a marriage that is resilient and fulfilling. [12:47]
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)
Reflection: In what ways can you better support your spouse in their personal goals and challenges?
Day 5: Embracing God's Transformative Love
God's love for us is the ultimate example of how we should love our spouse. It's a love that gives without expecting anything in return, transforming our marriages into a source of joy and fulfillment. By embracing this divine love, you can experience the transformative power of a covenantal relationship, where both partners are committed to loving each other as Christ loves us. [23:31]
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." (1 John 4:7, ESV)
Reflection: How can you demonstrate God's unconditional love to your spouse today, expecting nothing in return?
Quotes
"A couple of things, this is, the book of Genesis is our source code. So it's called the law of first mentions. We mentioned it last week. The law of first mentions, God will mention something and establish a principle, a precept, a concept, a truth that will move through the entire Bible. In fact, the book of Genesis, the book of beginnings, literally introduces us not only to the Lord, but his nature and his nature is in his creation. And we call this quote unquote, creative order, the order that God created things in." [00:00:40]
"We live in a world where literally we are being discipled on, on, in every world, in every spectrum of life. We are, we are literally being discipled by the world, how to think, how to think about marriage, how to think about sex, how to think about life. And we're going back to the scripture because we want to take good theology and turn it into practice, which means doctrine." [00:02:55]
"And here's what I know, Pastor, in 22 years, some of the people who look like they got it all together, they're hiding a lot of stuff. There's a lot of dysfunction, a lot of mess. They're managing the mess. And that's okay. No shame, not trying to throw shade on anybody. And there's some people who, you know, just in their, their, in their normal, just routine of life, just, man, they're, they're thriving." [00:06:24]
"Great marriages are not found. They are created. I know you're looking at the person next to you and you're like, I got stuck with this one here, but great marriages are not found. They're not luck of the draw. They are people who have gone through the crucible, the pain, the seasons, the dark nights of the soul, and they have overcome, and they have figured some things out, and they've played by the rules of the scripture to be able to persevere and walk through victory." [00:07:07]
"We know this, that the enemy, Satan, hates everything that God makes. And God created marriage. It was a God idea, not a man idea. It was a God idea. And we know the devil, he's a liar and the father of lies. And the devil is a liar and a jerk. And so is his mother-in-law. And they're all bad. And we don't want to go that path." [00:08:52]
"Marriage has to be a priority. You shall leave your father and mother and hold fast to the wife. So this is now no longer just a secondary thing. It's no longer like I'm still a bachelor, but I'm also married. No, no, this is number one. We'll get to that later in the message. Number two is pursuit. This holding fast, this cleaving, it's not just like a one-time deal is literally the effect of constantly chasing and pursuing this person, a pursuit." [00:14:06]
"Intimacy is not connected to practice. It's connected to exclusivity, purity. I'm fully here. You're fully here. There's no shadows. There's no areas of hiding. There's some couples who never really, they have sex, but they never really are intimate. They say the stats are that over, in our day in America, over 80 % of men aren't even engaging with their wife when they're having sex." [00:31:43]
"Secrecy kills intimacy. The truth is never afraid of examination. The person who knows you the most should not be your therapist. I'm not against having a therapist. I'm not against going to a counselor. I told my wife for the first time two days ago. We were laying in bed, we were talking. And she's like, there's something different a little bit about what you're doing." [00:34:35]
"You optimize what you prioritize. You optimize what you prioritize. In a culture of hyper individualism and a culture where there's some kids in Silicon Valley right now who are 23 years old in their parents' basement, not that there's basements there, but you know what that means. Working on, all they're working on is grabbing your attention, getting you to stop swiping and click. Yeah, that's it. It's the attention economy." [00:36:31]
"The statistics say that when a husband and wife prioritize each other first, not the kids, not the in-laws, prioritize each other first, there's a cascading effect that does something to the soul of the house. Mom and dad love each other. Why are mom and dad always putting on Barney? Largest wave of divorce happens when the kids are gone, because the kids were our diversion of attention." [00:38:31]
"I'm gonna tell you, the greatest dividend and return in life, the stats are in, more than money or the boat or the lake house or anything, any other dream that you're chasing or idea that you're chasing, the number one thing is a vibrant, healthy, fruitful marriage, period. It's your greatest investment. It's better than investing in Google or Apple or NVIDIA or whatever." [00:40:13]
"Marriage makes you holy not happy but in the holiness of your marriage that's when joy comes joy happiness is what happens but joy comes from the fruit of the life that god gives us through honoring this covenant so we went through this for several weeks several months and today they're not just married barely you know surviving they're thriving in the joy of their marriage because they allowed god to write a new story close a chapter and now today they're two new people entering into this two that this this covenant together." [00:42:35]
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