Building Healthy Relationships Through Honest Communication

As we look at the scriptures, we actually see that there is a, I guess you could say a good kind of anger. It's kind of an issue of justice. You would absolutely say Jesus was angry when he cleared the temple, right? When he drove out the money changers. He's like, this is supposed to be a place where people come and connect with God. And he says, you've made it a den of thieves. And he did do it really nicely kind of a thing. But what he does say is this is. He says that that injustice, that sense of injustice, if you let it grow, can turn into something bad. And so he says, keep those accounts short. When that thing arises, especially if it's been a relationship between two people, handle it. Now it says, you know, before the sun sets. That isn't always practical. What it means is in a timely manner. Right. But again, notice the reason. The reason is because if you don't deal with it, the enemy will take that little bit of thing and it'll grow and grow and grow. And basically you make a mountain out of what could have been a molehill kind of a thing. [00:06:02] (69 seconds)  #JusticeInAction

God actually designed you to work. Adam and Eve had something to do in the garden when it was perfect. There was things to do. We were designed to work. But he doesn't stop there. I think this is really interesting. He also says, so that you have something to provide for the needs of others. In other words, we're so shortsighted in our relationship, we're always thinking of, how do I retire? You want to force somebody, Go to your retirement counselor and say, in our retirement, we want to make sure that we have money left over so that we can help other people and watch their reaction. Watch their reaction. Like, nobody thinks that way. It's all, how do I live the lifestyle I want to live? Kind of A thing. Paul's completely turning this on its head. [00:07:52] (47 seconds)  #WorkToServe

The important thing is that when you project something that you're not, it creates an atmosphere of a relationship that does not really exist. And there's always this doubt of if I'm my true self, right? The person won't accept me. And by the way, that may be true. So if your whole relationship is built on that, you have a problem. Now, the way you speak the truth, and this will come out later, is very, very important. But that you speak the truth. [00:16:30] (41 seconds)  #TruthInVulnerability

One of the ways that, you know that you've gotten in that last list of bitterness and whatnot is when you're interrupting, the other person can't finish a thought. Right. When you're dismissing what they say. Oh, you just. That's just the way you feel. That's just this. That's right. You're belittling. Right. When you find yourself getting in, it's where you're trying to knock them down a peg, you've lost respect for them, you're communicating, you've lost respect for them and you're not going. The relationship's not going anywhere, or at least it's going to be majorly stuck in that area. [00:28:09] (39 seconds)  #RespectIsFoundation

Empathy is just hugely important, putting yourself. But it's tough because when we're trying to communicate and we'll see this here, actually, let me just talk about the contrast, all right? We've talked about this, the contrast between, I think, like I say, no matter where you go in the world, they're going to tell you that communication is important, right? But the world considers communication as a way to get your needs met. That's why it's important. How are you gonna get your needs met unless there's good communication, right? So that's what happens is we enter into a dialogue, right? We're trying to decide, you know, what to do for our anniversary. And Lynn's got an opinion, I got an opinion. Let's take something tougher. What to do about a child with an attitude, okay? And maybe in this case, Lynn wants to nurture him a little bit and give him a little space and I want to whop him, alright? We entered the world, enters it and goes, okay, you want this, you want this? And it tells me, I want to try active listening for the sole purpose that I could be understood in order to get my needs met, and vice versa. And on one hand it sounds good, but Jesus flipped that on its head, okay? [00:35:03] (78 seconds)  #ServeThroughSpeech

Followers of Christ see communication as a way to serve and build others up as God has done us. So now I enter into a conversation on good day with the Holy Spirit, okay, so don't take this as we always communicate this way, all right? But on a good day, when it's at work, I enter a conversation. I'm like, how can I serve Lynn in this conversation in communication? And when we're at our best, Lynn does the same. And it's night and day. It's absolutely night and day. [00:36:42] (39 seconds)  #FaithShapesCommunication

The world should Benefit from our faith. That is the contrast. And it just turns it on its ear. But also, I'm just telling you, it makes it beautiful. Especially because there are days that I'm thinking in my communication like the world. And when Lynn responds as a follower of Christ, we still communicate that day, and then vice versa. Maybe she's exhausted and whatnot and she's thinking about getting her needs met. And when I respond in fall, we can still communicate that day. Right. The tough time is. And by God's grace, it doesn't happen very often. Right. When we're both thinking like the world. [00:39:06] (39 seconds)  #SpiritPoweredLove

In essence, healthy relationships don't just happen. They're built day by day with words of truth, words of grace and words of love and an attitude. A Holy Spirit empowered. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a power greater than yourself to help you do the things you're not naturally inclined to do. [00:39:45] (20 seconds)  #LoveWithoutReason