Building God-Honoring Friendships for Spiritual Growth
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, Grace Church family! It's always a joy to see so many smiling faces here and to welcome those joining us online. Today, I want to share some important updates and dive into our ongoing series, "Critical Connections." First, a few announcements: we've decided to shelve the idea of launching two services for now. We'll revisit this in the fall and see what God has in store for us. Also, Alicia and I have reapplied and been accepted back into the Worship Center Network of Churches, which is a blessing for us as we continue to seek mentorship and accountability in our lives.
Let's open in prayer. Dear God, we give you this service. Help us to hear from you and understand your heart. We don't want to just say cute things; we want to know what you're saying to our church and our families in this season. Teach us, Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Today, we're continuing our series on "Critical Connections," focusing on the importance of friendships. The relationships we choose to invest in are crucial, especially those in our inner circle. These friendships can either enhance or hinder our walk with God. The Bible has a lot to say about friendships, and it's clear that who we surround ourselves with matters deeply.
We all need healing in this area. Many of us have experienced toxic or hurtful relationships, and it's essential to find healing and hope in Christ. Isaiah 61 reminds us that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Some of you are stuck because of past toxic relationships, but God is here to heal and set you free.
Friendships are critical. Proverbs 27:9 says, "Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel." We need to choose our friends carefully because they significantly impact our lives. As we grow older, we have more freedom to choose our friends, and it's vital to surround ourselves with those who encourage and uplift us in our walk with God.
Guarding our hearts and our inner circle is essential. Joshua 24:15 says, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." We need to decide who we are and what we stand for before we can build a quality inner circle of friendships. This field, our inner life, is not everyone's playground. We must be selective about who we allow into our inner circle.
Sowing into friendships takes effort. Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly." We need to make room in our hearts, schedules, and even budgets to invest in friendships. Building quality friendships means sowing into others before we can reap a harvest of good relationships.
Cultivating friendships requires ongoing effort. Proverbs 16:28 warns against gossip, which can separate close friends. We need to communicate with honesty and speak the truth in love. Forgiveness is also crucial. Colossians 3:13 says, "Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Quality friendships require us to pull up weeds, spray for bugs, and continually nurture the relationship.
Finally, we get to reap the benefits of quality friendships. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." When we invest in good friendships, we will have friends who stand by us in tough times, pray for us, and encourage us. Galatians 6:7-9 reminds us that we will reap what we sow. If we sow kindness, love, and encouragement, we will reap the same in return.
As we conclude, I want to encourage those who feel lonely or stuck in toxic relationships. God is here to heal and provide you with quality, God-honoring friendships. If you don't know the Lord, the first step is to confess Jesus Christ as your Savior. Let's pray together and ask God to fill us with His Holy Spirit and guide us in building these critical connections.
### Key Takeaways
1. The Importance of Guarding Your Heart: Guarding your heart and inner circle is crucial. Joshua 24:15 emphasizes the need to decide who we are and what we stand for before building quality friendships. This field, our inner life, is not everyone's playground. We must be selective about who we allow into our inner circle to ensure they align with our values and beliefs. [21:23]
2. Sowing into Friendships: Building quality friendships requires effort and intentionality. Proverbs 18:24 teaches that a man who has friends must himself be friendly. We need to make room in our hearts, schedules, and even budgets to invest in friendships. Sowing into others before we can reap a harvest of good relationships is essential. [29:44]
3. Cultivating Friendships: Maintaining friendships requires ongoing effort. Proverbs 16:28 warns against gossip, which can separate close friends. We need to communicate with honesty, speak the truth in love, and practice forgiveness. Quality friendships require us to pull up weeds, spray for bugs, and continually nurture the relationship. [39:54]
4. Reaping the Benefits of Quality Friendships: When we invest in good friendships, we will have friends who stand by us in tough times, pray for us, and encourage us. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Galatians 6:7-9 reminds us that we will reap what we sow. If we sow kindness, love, and encouragement, we will reap the same in return. [42:38]
5. Healing from Toxic Relationships: Many of us have experienced toxic or hurtful relationships, and it's essential to find healing and hope in Christ. Isaiah 61 reminds us that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. God is here to heal and provide us with quality, God-honoring friendships. [06:46]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:23] - Announcements and Updates
[02:48] - Opening Prayer
[04:01] - Introduction to Critical Connections
[05:22] - The Importance of Friendships
[06:46] - Healing from Toxic Relationships
[08:05] - Created for Connection
[09:21] - Choosing Your Friends Carefully
[10:48] - The Impact of Friendships on Your Walk with God
[12:03] - Personal Testimony on Friendships
[13:13] - The Shift to God-Honoring Friendships
[15:58] - The Role of Best Friends in Spiritual Growth
[17:14] - The Enemy's Attack on Healthy Relationships
[18:33] - The Common Enemy of Our Souls
[19:52] - God's Heart for Healthy Relationships
[21:23] - Guarding Your Heart and Inner Circle
[22:52] - Deciding Who You Are and What You Stand For
[24:17] - The Difference Between Inner Circle and Acquaintances
[25:36] - The Importance of Good Character in Friends
[27:00] - Iron Sharpens Iron
[28:23] - Guarding Your Heart in Toxic Environments
[29:44] - Sowing into Friendships
[31:09] - Being Kindly Affectionate
[32:35] - Highlights from Dale Carnegie's Book
[34:14] - Avoiding Arguments and Praising Sincerely
[35:39] - The Sacrifice of Building Friendships
[37:13] - Cultivating Friendships
[38:36] - The Work of Cultivating Friendships
[39:54] - Communicating with Honesty
[41:20] - Forgiving and Reconciling
[42:38] - Reaping the Benefits of Quality Friendships
[44:15] - Evaluating Your Friendships
[44:44] - Sowing and Reaping in Friendships
[45:28] - Expecting to Reap What You Sow
[46:04] - Facing Lonely Seasons
[47:14] - Final Thoughts on Friendships
[47:46] - The Role of the Holy Spirit in Friendships
[48:23] - Addressing Those in Need of Great Friends
[48:47] - Inner Healing from Toxic Relationships
[49:18] - The Impact of Toxic Relationships on Your Life
[49:46] - God's Healing and Freedom
[50:18] - Responding to the Call for Healing
[50:43] - Prayer for Healing
[51:10] - Declaring Healing in Jesus' Name
[51:44] - Overcoming Past Hurts
[52:11] - God-Honoring Relationships
[52:42] - Invitation to Know the Lord
[53:10] - Salvation Prayer
[53:44] - Benediction and Dismissal
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. Proverbs 27:9 - "Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel."
2. Joshua 24:15 - "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
3. Proverbs 18:24 - "A man who has friends must himself be friendly."
### Observation Questions
1. According to Proverbs 27:9, what are the two things that make the heart glad, and how is a friend compared to them?
2. In Joshua 24:15, what decision does Joshua declare for himself and his household?
3. What does Proverbs 18:24 say about the requirements for having friends?
### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the comparison of a friend to "oil and perfume" in Proverbs 27:9 help us understand the value of earnest counsel in friendships? [09:21]
2. Why is it important to decide who we are and what we stand for before building quality friendships, as emphasized in Joshua 24:15? [21:23]
3. What does it mean to be friendly according to Proverbs 18:24, and how does this relate to the effort required to build and maintain friendships? [29:44]
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current friendships. Are there any that enhance or hinder your walk with God? How can you address this? [09:21]
2. Have you experienced toxic relationships in the past? How did they affect you, and what steps can you take to find healing and hope in Christ? [06:46]
3. What practical steps can you take to guard your heart and inner circle, ensuring that those you allow close to you align with your values and beliefs? [21:23]
4. How can you intentionally sow into your friendships this week? Consider your heart, schedule, and budget. [29:44]
5. Think of a time when gossip or dishonesty affected a friendship. How can you cultivate honesty and forgiveness in your current relationships? [39:54]
6. Identify one friend who has been a source of encouragement and support. How can you show appreciation and invest in that friendship further? [42:38]
7. If you are feeling lonely or stuck in toxic relationships, what steps can you take to seek God-honoring friendships and find healing? [48:47]
Devotional
Day 1: Guarding Your Heart and Inner Circle
Guarding your heart and inner circle is crucial for maintaining a healthy spiritual life. Joshua 24:15 emphasizes the need to decide who we are and what we stand for before building quality friendships. This field, our inner life, is not everyone's playground. We must be selective about who we allow into our inner circle to ensure they align with our values and beliefs. The relationships we choose to invest in can either enhance or hinder our walk with God. By being intentional about who we let into our lives, we can create a supportive environment that encourages spiritual growth and aligns with God's will for us. [21:23]
Proverbs 4:23: "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."
Reflection: Who are the people in your inner circle? Do they encourage your walk with God, or do they hinder it? How can you be more intentional about guarding your heart and choosing friends who align with your values?
Day 2: Sowing into Friendships
Building quality friendships requires effort and intentionality. Proverbs 18:24 teaches that a man who has friends must himself be friendly. We need to make room in our hearts, schedules, and even budgets to invest in friendships. Sowing into others before we can reap a harvest of good relationships is essential. This means being proactive in reaching out, showing kindness, and being available for others. By investing time and effort into our friendships, we can build strong, supportive relationships that reflect God's love and grace. [29:44]
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Reflection: How can you make more room in your heart, schedule, and budget to invest in your friendships? What specific actions can you take this week to sow into your relationships?
Day 3: Cultivating Friendships
Maintaining friendships requires ongoing effort. Proverbs 16:28 warns against gossip, which can separate close friends. We need to communicate with honesty, speak the truth in love, and practice forgiveness. Quality friendships require us to pull up weeds, spray for bugs, and continually nurture the relationship. This means addressing issues as they arise, being open and honest with our friends, and extending grace and forgiveness when needed. By cultivating our friendships, we can create strong, lasting relationships that reflect God's love and truth. [39:54]
Ephesians 4:29: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
Reflection: Are there any weeds (issues) in your friendships that need to be addressed? How can you communicate with honesty and love to nurture your relationships?
Day 4: Reaping the Benefits of Quality Friendships
When we invest in good friendships, we will have friends who stand by us in tough times, pray for us, and encourage us. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Galatians 6:7-9 reminds us that we will reap what we sow. If we sow kindness, love, and encouragement, we will reap the same in return. Quality friendships provide support, encouragement, and accountability, helping us to grow in our faith and navigate life's challenges. By investing in our friendships, we can experience the blessings of strong, supportive relationships. [42:38]
1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."
Reflection: Think of a time when a friend stood by you in a tough situation. How can you be that kind of friend to someone else this week? What can you do to sow kindness, love, and encouragement into your friendships?
Day 5: Healing from Toxic Relationships
Many of us have experienced toxic or hurtful relationships, and it's essential to find healing and hope in Christ. Isaiah 61 reminds us that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. God is here to heal and provide us with quality, God-honoring friendships. If you have been hurt by past relationships, know that God wants to bring healing and restoration to your heart. By seeking His guidance and allowing Him to work in your life, you can find freedom from past hurts and build healthy, supportive relationships that honor Him. [06:46]
Psalm 147:3: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Reflection: Are there any past toxic relationships that are still affecting you today? How can you seek God's healing and guidance to move forward and build healthy, God-honoring friendships?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Be genuinely interested in other people. We just talked about that. Number two, smile. Only three of you? Okay, four of you. Really? Some of you need to learn this. You know what's the best part of you? I just feel like hanging out here for a while. Can I do this? Yeah. It should be something that marks a Christian life. If they can't find joy, in the kingdom, where is the world going to go for this? Show your teeth, somebody. When you're here, this is where you practice. This is just where you get equipped. When you leave those doors, come on, when you're shopping, I know, it's tough. When you go to work, you can conquer road rage just by deciding to smile." [32:35]
2. "Sowing takes sacrifice. Somebody say sacrifice. Not a word we like so much, but John 15, 12 to 13 says this. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. If we're not ready to be somewhat sacrificial in our approach, it takes time, it takes energy, it takes emotional stamina, it takes some sacrifice to build quality friendships." [35:39]
3. "If you've found friends that are okay sinning with you, it's a quick skip and a jump to the friends that will sin against you. Somebody say, oy. Seriously, because just me making a decision to follow, Christ revealed the true nature of my actual friend circle. And I'm talking about my inner friend circle, the dudes that I hung out with literally every week and talk to all the time. Only, only one of them sort of encouraged my walk with the Lord." [14:28]
4. "One of the most important decisions that we're going to make throughout our life and not just in our teen years, but all through our life is choosing who's going to, who we're going to be friends with. Often the quality of friendships you choose dictates the quality of life that we're experiencing. Come on, especially the quality of your God journey. And this is where it gets really critical. Make no mistake. Your friendships either enhance your walk with the Lord or they hinder it." [09:21]
### Quotes for Members
1. "Guard your field. Guard your house. Guard your heart. The field is the place that is the inner you and the inner person of you in your personal life. That's what I'm talking about right now. Guard your heart. Guard your house, right? Y'all just let your front door open. Let anyone in overnight that wants to come in? Well, there are some homeless people. Why don't you want them? No? Okay. I don't either, right? Why? Because it might not be safe, right? You should have a say." [21:23]
2. "Building quality of friendships means sowing into others before you can reap a harvest of good friendship. You have to start down the journey of one anothering. If you want to get good people in your inner circle, they have to look at you and say, he's not just about himself. She doesn't just talk about herself. She's about others. And he likes to do what others prefer as well. How often do you think about what around you prefer? Somebody say conquer selfishness." [31:09]
3. "It takes time to tend relationships. It's the part that takes the most work in a relationship, so what I'm saying is don't shrink back. Proverbs 16 says this, in verse 28, a dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. What's a whisperer? A gosperer. Somebody say, spray that bug. See, you got to pull that weed, and this is the tough stuff because when you've left a bestie into your life, and they start to just, you know, they start to just, you know, spread toxic behavior, and they're gossiping about everybody." [38:36]
4. "Sow in quality friendships and then reap quality friendships back to you. Sow kindness and reap kindness and sow encouragement and reap it. And then you sow love and attention and time and energy and prayer and dedication and fun and laughter even into people's lives and then start reaping what you sow. And I believe that Scripture, Scripture is clear that if we want to reap something, we can sow it with expectation." [45:28]
5. "Who you surround yourself with is critical and it's crucial. And it's even imperative to who you will become, how you walk with God and how you fulfill the calling that is on your life. Now, let me say this about the devil, the enemy of our souls, Satan, the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy, right? And from John 10, 10, he comes to kill, steal and destroy, right? He's not fond of healthy relationships. In this sense, we all have a common enemy. He doesn't like healthy God honoring connections." [18:33]
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