Parenting adolescents is a complex and crucial phase that shapes the future character and convictions of young individuals. It is a time when the values instilled during childhood are tested and either solidified or discarded. Adolescents, much like the biblical figures Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, are often thrust into environments that challenge their beliefs and character. These four young men, despite being immersed in a culture antithetical to their upbringing, demonstrated unwavering conviction, character, courage, and civility—traits that are essential for any adolescent stepping into the world.
Conviction is the bedrock upon which character is built. It is a deeply held belief that influences actions and decisions. Adolescents with conviction are likely to develop strong character, courage, and civility. Conviction is not merely an opinion; it is a belief that holds the individual, guiding them through life's choices. This was evident in the story of Daniel and his friends, who refused to defile themselves with the king's food, not because of a mere preference, but because of a deep-seated conviction that it was against their beliefs.
Character is the essence of who a person is, especially when no one is watching. It is reflected in how individuals treat others who can offer them nothing in return. Character is not static; it is developed over time and is the result of convictions taking root in the heart. For adolescents, character is crucial as it determines how they will own their actions and circumstances. In a world where blame-shifting is common, adolescents with character will take full responsibility for their successes and failures, owning their actions and circumstances regardless of how they came about.
Courage, born out of conviction and character, is the ability to stand firm in one's beliefs, even when it is unpopular or risky. It is the strength to say 'yes' to what is right and 'no' to what is wrong, despite peer pressure or cultural norms. The biblical account of Daniel and his friends showcases their courage as they chose to face the consequences of their faith rather than compromise their beliefs.
Civility is the subtle yet powerful quality of showing respect and kindness to others, even in disagreement. It is a trait that seems to be diminishing in society, yet it is fundamental to fulfilling the command to love one's neighbor. Civility allows for diplomacy and gracious interactions, as demonstrated by Daniel when he proposed a reasonable alternative to the king's food without resorting to rebellion or disrespect.
The role of parents and grandparents in nurturing these traits cannot be overstated. Adolescents learn conviction from the example set by their elders. A faith that is lived out daily, not just professed, has a profound impact on young minds. It is crucial for parents to not only teach but also embody the values they wish to pass on. The cocoon stage of adolescence is a controlled environment where young individuals can wrestle with their beliefs and strengthen their wings, preparing them to soar when they finally leave the nest.
To inspire adolescents to develop these traits, parents are encouraged to learn their children thoroughly, listen to them intently, lead them boldly, lift them frequently, and love them unconditionally. Each child is unique, and understanding their individuality is key to guiding them effectively. Listening to their thoughts and feelings without judgment fosters open communication and trust. Leading them involves guiding them towards God's calling for their lives, not imposing one's own desires. Encouraging and supporting them through their struggles builds resilience and confidence. Lastly, loving them unconditionally assures them that they are valued and accepted for who they are, not just for their achievements or compliance.
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