Building Conviction, Character, Courage, and Civility in Adolescents

Summary

Parenting adolescents is a complex and crucial phase that shapes the future character and convictions of young individuals. It is a time when the values instilled during childhood are tested and either solidified or discarded. Adolescents, much like the biblical figures Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, are often thrust into environments that challenge their beliefs and character. These four young men, despite being immersed in a culture antithetical to their upbringing, demonstrated unwavering conviction, character, courage, and civility—traits that are essential for any adolescent stepping into the world.

Conviction is the bedrock upon which character is built. It is a deeply held belief that influences actions and decisions. Adolescents with conviction are likely to develop strong character, courage, and civility. Conviction is not merely an opinion; it is a belief that holds the individual, guiding them through life's choices. This was evident in the story of Daniel and his friends, who refused to defile themselves with the king's food, not because of a mere preference, but because of a deep-seated conviction that it was against their beliefs.

Character is the essence of who a person is, especially when no one is watching. It is reflected in how individuals treat others who can offer them nothing in return. Character is not static; it is developed over time and is the result of convictions taking root in the heart. For adolescents, character is crucial as it determines how they will own their actions and circumstances. In a world where blame-shifting is common, adolescents with character will take full responsibility for their successes and failures, owning their actions and circumstances regardless of how they came about.

Courage, born out of conviction and character, is the ability to stand firm in one's beliefs, even when it is unpopular or risky. It is the strength to say 'yes' to what is right and 'no' to what is wrong, despite peer pressure or cultural norms. The biblical account of Daniel and his friends showcases their courage as they chose to face the consequences of their faith rather than compromise their beliefs.

Civility is the subtle yet powerful quality of showing respect and kindness to others, even in disagreement. It is a trait that seems to be diminishing in society, yet it is fundamental to fulfilling the command to love one's neighbor. Civility allows for diplomacy and gracious interactions, as demonstrated by Daniel when he proposed a reasonable alternative to the king's food without resorting to rebellion or disrespect.

The role of parents and grandparents in nurturing these traits cannot be overstated. Adolescents learn conviction from the example set by their elders. A faith that is lived out daily, not just professed, has a profound impact on young minds. It is crucial for parents to not only teach but also embody the values they wish to pass on. The cocoon stage of adolescence is a controlled environment where young individuals can wrestle with their beliefs and strengthen their wings, preparing them to soar when they finally leave the nest.

To inspire adolescents to develop these traits, parents are encouraged to learn their children thoroughly, listen to them intently, lead them boldly, lift them frequently, and love them unconditionally. Each child is unique, and understanding their individuality is key to guiding them effectively. Listening to their thoughts and feelings without judgment fosters open communication and trust. Leading them involves guiding them towards God's calling for their lives, not imposing one's own desires. Encouraging and supporting them through their struggles builds resilience and confidence. Lastly, loving them unconditionally assures them that they are valued and accepted for who they are, not just for their achievements or compliance.

Key Takeaways:

- Conviction is the foundation of character, courage, and civility. It is a belief that holds the individual and influences their actions and decisions. Adolescents with strong convictions are more likely to stand firm in their beliefs and make choices that reflect their values. [16:55]

- Character is revealed through choices and actions. It is who a person is when no one else is looking and is shaped by the convictions held in the heart. Adolescents with character will take responsibility for their actions and circumstances, which is crucial for navigating life's challenges. [21:34]

- Courage is the ability to stand for what is right, even when it is difficult or unpopular. It is a trait that is developed through conviction and character and is necessary for adolescents to resist peer pressure and cultural influences that contradict their beliefs. [30:40]

- Civility is essential for maintaining respectful and kind interactions with others, even in the face of disagreement. It is a quality that allows for constructive dialogue and solutions, as exemplified by Daniel's respectful proposal to the overseer. [31:57]

- The role of parents and grandparents in the development of these traits is critical. By embodying the values they teach and providing a supportive environment, they can inspire adolescents to develop conviction, character, courage, and civility. This involves understanding, listening, guiding, encouraging, and loving them unconditionally. [39:51]

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Daniel 1:3-20 - The story of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Babylon.
2. Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
3. Ephesians 6:4 - "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

#### Observation Questions
1. What were the specific challenges that Daniel and his friends faced in Babylon? How did they respond to these challenges? ([13:01])
2. According to the sermon, what is the significance of Daniel and his friends refusing the king's food and wine? ([16:19])
3. How does the sermon describe the role of parents and grandparents in developing conviction, character, courage, and civility in adolescents? ([19:40])
4. What does the term "cocoon stage" refer to in the context of adolescence, and why is it important? ([09:12])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the story of Daniel and his friends illustrate the importance of conviction in the life of an adolescent? ([16:55])
2. In what ways does character, as described in the sermon, influence the actions and decisions of adolescents? ([21:34])
3. Why is courage necessary for adolescents, and how can it be developed through conviction and character? ([30:40])
4. How does civility, as demonstrated by Daniel, contribute to respectful and effective interactions, even in challenging situations? ([31:57])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when your convictions were tested. How did you respond, and what did you learn from that experience? How can you apply this lesson to support adolescents in your life? ([16:55])
2. Think about the character traits you exhibit when no one is watching. How can you model these traits for the adolescents in your life to help them develop strong character? ([21:34])
3. Identify a situation where you or an adolescent you know had to show courage to stand up for what is right. What was the outcome, and how can this example be used to encourage others? ([30:40])
4. How can you practice civility in your daily interactions, especially when you disagree with someone? Share a specific example of how you can demonstrate respect and kindness in a challenging situation. ([31:57])
5. As a parent or grandparent, how can you better understand and support the unique individuality of each adolescent in your care? What steps can you take to listen, guide, encourage, and love them unconditionally? ([35:48])
6. Reflect on the concept of the "cocoon stage" of adolescence. How can you create a supportive environment that allows adolescents to wrestle with their beliefs and strengthen their wings? ([09:12])
7. How can you ensure that your faith is lived out daily and not just professed on Sundays? What specific actions can you take to demonstrate a faith that works to the adolescents in your life? ([19:40])

Devotional

Day 1: Conviction Anchors the Soul
Conviction is not a fleeting thought or a mere opinion; it is the core belief that anchors the soul and guides one's actions and decisions. It is the unwavering certainty in the face of life's storms, a compass that directs adolescents toward integrity and away from the shifting sands of societal trends. When conviction is deeply rooted, it becomes the foundation upon which character is built, enabling young individuals to stand firm in their beliefs and make choices that reflect their values. This conviction is not developed in isolation but is often nurtured through the examples set by those who have walked the path before, such as parents and mentors. It is a belief that holds steadfast, guiding through life's myriad choices and challenges, much like a lighthouse guiding ships through treacherous waters. Adolescents with strong convictions are more likely to navigate the complexities of life with a sense of purpose and clarity, making decisions that align with their true selves and the values they hold dear. [16:55]

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." (Romans 1:16 ESV)

Reflection: What is one conviction you hold that has significantly shaped your life choices, and how can you model and discuss this conviction with the younger generation in your sphere of influence?

Day 2: Character: The Silent Witness of the Heart
Character is the silent witness of the heart, the true reflection of who a person is when no one else is looking. It is the sum of the choices and actions that one takes, shaped by the convictions held within. For adolescents, developing character is a dynamic process, a journey of becoming that is influenced by the values they embrace and the decisions they make. It is about taking responsibility for one's actions and circumstances, owning both successes and failures with grace and humility. In a world where blame-shifting is prevalent, adolescents with character stand out by owning their actions and circumstances, regardless of how they came about. This trait is crucial for navigating life's challenges, as it determines how they will respond to adversity and success alike. Character is not inherited; it is cultivated through consistent practice and the reinforcement of positive values. It is the quiet strength that speaks volumes in a noisy world, the steady hand that writes a story of integrity and respect. [21:34]

"Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out." (Proverbs 10:9 ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a recent situation where your character was tested. How did you respond, and what did that reveal about the state of your character?

Day 3: Courage: The Boldness to Stand Firm
Courage is the boldness to stand firm in one's beliefs, even when it is difficult or unpopular. It is the strength to say 'yes' to what is right and 'no' to what is wrong, despite peer pressure or cultural norms. Born out of conviction and character, courage is not the absence of fear but the determination to act in accordance with one's principles in the face of it. Adolescents need this trait to resist peer pressure and cultural influences that contradict their beliefs. Courage is the choice to follow a path aligned with one's convictions, even when it leads against the current. It is the resolve to uphold truth and justice, even at personal cost. This courage is necessary for adolescents as they forge their identities and make decisions that will shape their futures. It is the fire that ignites action and the shield that protects integrity. [30:40]

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." (1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV)

Reflection: Can you identify a time when you felt pressured to compromise your beliefs? How can you prepare yourself to act courageously in future situations that challenge your convictions?

Day 4: Civility: The Grace of Respectful Interaction
Civility is the subtle yet powerful quality of showing respect and kindness to others, even in disagreement. It is the grace that allows for constructive dialogue and solutions, the oil that soothes the friction of human interaction. In a society where civility seems to be diminishing, it is more important than ever for adolescents to learn the art of gracious interactions. Civility is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of strength and self-control. It allows individuals to express their views with clarity and poise, without resorting to hostility or disrespect. This quality is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and fostering a community where diverse opinions can coexist. Civility is the hallmark of a mature individual who can navigate the complexities of human relationships with diplomacy and kindness. [31:57]

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." (Colossians 4:6 ESV)

Reflection: Think of a recent interaction where you disagreed with someone. How did you handle the conversation, and what could you do to improve civility in future disagreements?

Day 5: The Transformative Power of Parental Influence
The role of parents and grandparents in the development of conviction, character, courage, and civility in adolescents is critical. By embodying the values they teach and providing a supportive environment, they can profoundly influence the younger generation. Understanding, listening, guiding, encouraging, and loving unconditionally are the pillars of this transformative influence. Each child is unique, and grasping their individuality is key to guiding them effectively. Open communication and trust are fostered by listening intently to their thoughts and feelings. Guiding them involves leading them towards their calling, not imposing one's own desires. Encouraging and supporting them through struggles builds resilience and confidence. Unconditional love assures them of their inherent value, regardless of achievements or compliance. This parental influence is the cocoon from which a well-rounded, principled individual emerges, ready to soar into the world. [39:51]

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

Reflection: As a parent or mentor, what are some ways you can actively demonstrate the values you wish to instill in the younger generation, and how can you create opportunities for meaningful conversations around these values?

Quotes

1) "Conviction is the deep-seated belief that's so strongly rooted in your soul that it marks your character and moves you into action." [16:19] (Download)

2) "Character is who you are when no one else is looking. Character is how you treat other people when those other people have nothing to offer you." [21:34] (Download)

3) "Your character will be revealed by your choices and decisions. Character inspired by conviction drives your choices." [24:19] (Download)

4) "It takes courage to do what's right when everybody else is doing what's wrong. Courage to say yes to God and no to the world." [30:40] (Download)

5) "Civility is the ability to show kindness and respect to others even when you don't agree with them or see eye to eye with them." [31:57] (Download)

6) "Your teenager needs to hear that over and over and over and over: my love for you is unconditional." [39:07] (Download)

7) "To inspire your children, learn them thoroughly, listen to them intently, lead them boldly, lift them frequently, love them unconditionally." [39:51] (Download)

8) "They learn conviction from you. They're looking for a faith that works, they want to see it lived out, not just talked about." [20:16] (Download)

9) "Character causes our kids to own their circumstances no matter how they find themselves in them." [28:51] (Download)

10) "When you choose God and trust that He will be faithful to His promises, He shows up. There's nothing better than God showing up and acting like God in your life." [26:19] (Download)

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Transcript

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