Building on the Basics, The Basics of Love

John’s third letter puts two men side by side, and the contrast is about as clear as it can be. Gaius is walking in truth, living out God kind of love, and putting the kingdom ahead of himself. Diotrephes loves to be first, wants things his way, rejects apostolic authority, and even works against people carrying the gospel forward. In a world full of Diotrephes, the call is to be a Gaius.

John’s repeated themes of truth and love show up again in this very personal letter. Truth is not just knowing the right theological stuff about Jesus. Truth has to get up off the page and show itself in a person’s life. Gaius’s spiritual health is visible because people come back talking about his faithfulness, his love, his hospitality, and his willingness to help brothers he does not even know.

Diotrephes reveals the opposite kind of life. His problem is an eye problem. His heart says, “I want my way. I’m going to get my way.” Pride puts self at the center, refuses correction, speaks wicked words, and makes church life about control instead of Christ. Jesus calls disciples to deny themselves, take up the cross daily, and follow Him. Spiritual health requires death to self, even though the flesh keeps trying to crawl off the altar.

Gaius’s hospitality also reveals a kingdom mindset. He supports traveling missionaries who have gone out “for the sake of the name.” His home, resources, and influence become part of the spread of the gospel. John says those who support such workers become fellow workers with the truth. The church bears the responsibility to send, give, serve, pray, house, feed, and help carry the name of Jesus here, there, and everywhere.

Diotrephes’s refusal to receive these brothers shows something terribly off in his spiritual life. His self focus hinders kingdom work and harms the body. John’s warning is strong: do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. A life changed by truth and love cannot remain centered on self. God’s people are called to live for the sake of the name, trusting that what is best is found in walking with Christ rather than insisting on their own way.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Spiritual health requires death to self. [52:22] The call to follow Jesus cuts straight across the demand to get one’s own way. The flesh naturally wants control, recognition, comfort, and the final word. Christ calls His people to decrease so that He might increase. That surrender is not the loss of real life, but the place where real life is found. [52:22]
• 2. Truth must become visible love. [53:26] John rejoices because Gaius is not merely informed by truth, but walking in it. His love becomes visible through sacrifice, service, and hospitality toward others. The truth of Christ always presses beyond private belief into public faithfulness. A good testimony grows where doctrine shapes ordinary relationships. [53:26]
• 3. Pride makes everything about self. [47:02] Diotrephes loves to be first, and that desire poisons his leadership and damages the church. Pride refuses authority when authority threatens personal control. Pride also turns brothers into obstacles and ministry into territory. The name of Jesus cannot be central where the self insists on the throne. [47:02]
• 4. Kingdom work happens for the Name. [59:50] Gaius helps gospel workers because they have gone out for the sake of the name of Jesus Christ. His support makes him a fellow worker with the truth, even though he is not the one traveling from town to town. The kingdom advances through those who go and those who faithfully send. Resources, homes, meals, encouragement, and prayer all become gospel work when offered for the Name. [59:50]
• 5. In a world of Diotrephes, be Gaius. [01:09:20] Gaius represents a life marked by spiritual strength, a testimony of good, and a kingdom mindset. Diotrephes represents the danger of self centered religion that may look active but resists the heart of Christ. God’s love must change the way His people serve, give, welcome, and lead. The faithful pattern is simple: follow what is good.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [24:09] - A Reunion and the Work of God
• [27:51] - Meeting Gaius and Diotrephes
• [30:01] - Reading Third John
• [32:56] - In a World of Diotrephes
• [33:52] - Truth and God Kind of Love
• [37:03] - When Church Conflict Must Be Faced
• [42:41] - Three Contrasts Between Gaius and Diotrephes
• [43:19] - Spiritual Strength Versus Spiritual Weakness
• [46:41] - Diotrephes and the Eye Problem
• [52:22] - Death to Self and Real Life
• [53:05] - A Testimony of Good or Evil
• [59:00] - A Kingdom Mindset for the Name
• [65:26] - Living Sacrifices That Stay on the Altar
• [69:20] - Follow What Is Good

Bible Reading

3 John 1:1-15
“The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. For I was very glad when brethren came and testified to your truth, that is, how you are walking in truth. I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. Beloved, you are acting faithfully in whatever you accomplish for the brethren, and especially when they are strangers; and they have testified to your love before the church. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. For they went out for the sake of the Name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles. Therefore we ought to support such men, so that we may be fellow workers with the truth. I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church. Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself; and we add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true. I had many things to write to you, but I am not willing to write them to you with pen and ink; but I hope to see you shortly, and we will speak face to face. Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.”

Observation questions

1. What details in 3 John show that Gaius’s walk in the truth was known and affirmed by other believers? [53:26]
2. What specific actions of Diotrephes reveal his desire to be first and his refusal to receive correction?
3. How does John describe the care Gaius gave to traveling gospel workers, including workers he did not previously know? [59:01]
4. What contrast does John draw between the testimony of Gaius, Diotrephes, and Demetrius?

Interpretation questions

1. Why does John connect walking in truth with visible love, faithful service, and hospitality rather than treating truth as merely knowing the right things? [33:42]
2. What does Diotrephes’s refusal to receive the brothers—and his efforts to stop others from receiving them—show about the effect pride can have on a church? [54:40]
3. Why does John call those who support gospel workers “fellow workers with the truth,” even when they are not the ones traveling and preaching? [59:35]
4. How should a church distinguish between keeping peace over minor preferences and confronting behavior that is harmful, self-centered, or opposed to Christ’s work? [38:28]

Application questions

1. Where does the desire to get your own way show up most often—in your home, work, friendships, or church life? What would it look like to let Christ increase while you decrease in that situation? [51:47]
2. If people who know you well described your spiritual life, what evidence of walking in truth and loving others would they be able to point to? What is one area where you want your testimony to grow? [53:31]
3. Gaius welcomed and helped believers he did not know because they were serving Christ. What practical ways could you practice that kind of hospitality through your home, time, resources, meals, encouragement, or service? [01:01:17]
4. Is there a gospel worker, ministry partner, or missionary you can support more intentionally through prayer, giving, communication, or practical care? What could that support look like this week? [01:03:22]
5. A living sacrifice can keep trying to crawl off the altar. In what recent situation have you recognized yourself pulling back from surrender, service, generosity, or humility? What would returning that area to God involve? [01:08:00]
6. When you see pride, harsh words, control, or resistance to serving others in yourself, how can you address it before it harms the body of Christ? Who is a trusted believer who can help you walk in humility? [47:02]
7. What would it mean for your ordinary decisions this week—how you speak, spend, serve, and respond to others—to be done for the sake of the name of Jesus? [59:50]