Building a God-Centered Marriage Through Intentional Love

 

Summary

Building a God-centered marriage requires intentionality, selflessness, and a commitment to understanding and serving one another. In the early stages of a relationship, there's an excitement and pursuit that often involves grand gestures. However, as the relationship matures, the focus should shift to understanding what truly makes your partner feel valued and loved. This involves recognizing that while a spouse cannot fill every void, there is immense value in unity and moving in the same direction. It's about the small, everyday actions that demonstrate love and commitment, like making a cup of coffee or helping with daily chores.

Marriage is not always about grand romantic gestures but about the micro-moments that build a strong foundation. These moments, though seemingly mundane, like washing dishes together or having conversations before bed, contribute to a deeper connection. They allow couples to enjoy each other's company beyond the responsibilities of life, fostering dreams and visions together.

The journey of marriage can be likened to a challenging hike, where the path may seem difficult and unrewarding at times. However, perseverance and encouragement from others can lead to beautiful destinations. Similarly, marriage requires perseverance through difficult times, trusting that the journey will be worth it.

Scripture, such as 1 Peter 3, emphasizes the importance of inner beauty and a gentle spirit over outward appearances. This inner beauty is precious to God and is a testament to a godly life that can influence others without words. It's about conducting oneself wisely, making decisions that will be looked back on with pride, and ensuring that one's actions reflect Christ.

Ultimately, a successful marriage is built on mutual service and love. When both partners are committed to serving each other selflessly, it creates a cycle of love and respect. Even in challenging seasons, continuing to serve and love one another can transform the relationship and bring about growth and healing.

Key Takeaways:

1. Intentional Pursuit: Building a strong marriage involves understanding what makes your partner feel valued and loved. It's not about grand gestures but about consistent, intentional actions that demonstrate love and commitment. [07:36]

2. Micro-Moments Matter: The small, everyday actions, like sharing chores or having meaningful conversations, contribute significantly to the strength of a marriage. These moments build a foundation for deeper connection and shared dreams. [11:08]

3. Perseverance in Marriage: Like a challenging hike, marriage requires perseverance through difficult times. Encouragement and support from others can help couples continue on their journey, trusting that the effort will lead to beautiful outcomes. [15:53]

4. Inner Beauty and Conduct: Scripture emphasizes the importance of inner beauty and a gentle spirit. Conducting oneself wisely and making decisions that reflect Christ's love are crucial for a godly marriage. [25:59]

5. Cycle of Service and Love: A successful marriage is built on mutual service and love. When both partners are committed to serving each other selflessly, it creates a cycle of love and respect that strengthens the relationship. [35:32]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[02:09] - The Excitement of Pursuit
[07:36] - Intentional Acts of Love
[11:08] - The Importance of Micro-Moments
[15:53] - Perseverance in Marriage
[21:22] - Inner Beauty and Godly Conduct
[25:59] - Conducting Oneself Wisely
[29:55] - Serving Each Other Selflessly
[32:34] - Overcoming Challenges Together
[35:32] - The Cycle of Love and Service
[39:49] - Building Momentum in Marriage
[41:00] - Fun and Games in Marriage
[42:40] - Handling Conflicts with Grace
[43:30] - Closing Remarks and Feedback

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Building a God-Centered Marriage

Bible Reading:
- 1 Peter 3:1-6

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Observation Questions:

1. According to the sermon, what are some examples of "micro-moments" that contribute to a strong marriage? [11:08]

2. How does the sermon describe the journey of marriage as similar to a challenging hike? What are the key elements that make this comparison meaningful? [15:53]

3. What does 1 Peter 3:1-6 emphasize about inner beauty and conduct, and how is this related to building a godly marriage?

4. In the sermon, what role does mutual service play in creating a cycle of love and respect within a marriage? [35:32]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How might the concept of "intentional pursuit" change as a marriage matures, according to the sermon? [07:36]

2. What does the sermon suggest about the importance of perseverance in marriage, and how can this be applied during difficult times? [15:53]

3. How does the sermon interpret the biblical teaching on inner beauty in 1 Peter 3, and why is this significant for a godly marriage? [25:59]

4. What are the potential challenges and benefits of maintaining a cycle of service and love in a marriage, as discussed in the sermon? [35:32]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your own marriage or a close relationship. What are some "micro-moments" you can identify that have strengthened your connection? How can you create more of these moments? [11:08]

2. Consider a challenging time in your marriage or relationship. How did perseverance play a role in overcoming it, and what encouragement can you draw from the sermon to face future challenges? [15:53]

3. In what ways can you focus on developing inner beauty and a gentle spirit in your relationship, as emphasized in 1 Peter 3? How might this impact your partner and those around you? [25:59]

4. Think about a recent situation where you had the opportunity to serve your partner selflessly. How did it affect your relationship, and what can you learn from this experience to apply in the future? [35:32]

5. Identify one specific way you can intentionally pursue your partner this week. How can this action demonstrate your love and commitment in a meaningful way? [07:36]

6. How can you and your partner support each other in pursuing shared dreams and visions, as mentioned in the sermon? What practical steps can you take to align your goals? [11:08]

7. Reflect on a time when you felt overwhelmed in your relationship. How did your partner's actions help you, and how can you reciprocate that support in the future? [35:32]

Devotional

Day 1: Intentional Acts of Love
Building a strong marriage involves understanding what makes your partner feel valued and loved. It's not about grand gestures but about consistent, intentional actions that demonstrate love and commitment. In the early stages of a relationship, excitement often leads to grand gestures, but as the relationship matures, the focus should shift to understanding and serving one another in ways that truly matter. This means recognizing the small, everyday actions that can make a significant impact, such as making a cup of coffee or helping with daily chores. These acts of love are the foundation of a God-centered marriage, where both partners are committed to moving in the same direction and supporting each other through life's journey. [07:36]

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:9-10, ESV)

Reflection: What is one small, intentional act of love you can do for your spouse today that would make them feel valued and appreciated?


Day 2: The Importance of Micro-Moments
The small, everyday actions, like sharing chores or having meaningful conversations, contribute significantly to the strength of a marriage. These moments build a foundation for deeper connection and shared dreams. While grand gestures have their place, it's the micro-moments that truly sustain a relationship. These seemingly mundane activities, such as washing dishes together or having conversations before bed, allow couples to enjoy each other's company beyond the responsibilities of life. They foster dreams and visions together, creating a strong bond that can withstand the challenges of life. [11:08]

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)

Reflection: Identify a micro-moment in your daily routine that you can transform into a meaningful connection with your spouse. How can you be more present in that moment?


Day 3: Perseverance in Marriage
Like a challenging hike, marriage requires perseverance through difficult times. Encouragement and support from others can help couples continue on their journey, trusting that the effort will lead to beautiful outcomes. The journey of marriage is not always easy, and there will be times when the path seems difficult and unrewarding. However, just as a challenging hike can lead to breathtaking views, persevering through tough times in marriage can lead to a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. It's important to lean on the support of others and trust that the journey is worth it. [15:53]

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (James 1:2-3, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a recent challenge in your marriage. How can you seek encouragement and support from others to persevere through this season?


Day 4: Inner Beauty and Conduct
Scripture emphasizes the importance of inner beauty and a gentle spirit. Conducting oneself wisely and making decisions that reflect Christ's love are crucial for a godly marriage. While outward appearances may fade, inner beauty is precious to God and can influence others without words. It's about living a life that reflects Christ's love and making decisions that will be looked back on with pride. A gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God's sight and can have a profound impact on a marriage. [25:59]

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." (1 Peter 3:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you cultivate inner beauty and a gentle spirit in your marriage today?


Day 5: The Cycle of Love and Service
A successful marriage is built on mutual service and love. When both partners are committed to serving each other selflessly, it creates a cycle of love and respect that strengthens the relationship. Even in challenging seasons, continuing to serve and love one another can transform the relationship and bring about growth and healing. This cycle of service and love is essential for a thriving marriage, where both partners are dedicated to putting each other's needs above their own. [35:32]

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." (Galatians 5:13, ESV)

Reflection: How can you initiate a cycle of love and service in your marriage today? What is one specific way you can serve your spouse selflessly?

Quotes

"Yeah. You said the other day, it's the radical people that do the radical things and turn the world upside down. And I've thought of that ever since you said that, because I'm like, okay, well, what do I do radically? Like, what am I doing to contribute the things that need to get done so that I can achieve my dreams and my goals?" [00:06:33] (21 seconds)


"And I want to make it clear, it is not roses and big vacations that are the pursuit when you're dating. Sometimes you have to do extreme measures like buy a duck to get attention. But when when you've got that person now, you we've got to figure out what really makes her happy. What really makes. No." [00:08:54] (25 seconds)


"Know i'm speaking from the woman's perspective but i'm sure that there's things in the man's perspective of me just even kind of keeping my mouth shut and respecting and encouraging even when you've lost your job or even when maybe some things are going rocky at work i'm being very intentional with how i'm handling and how i'm pursuing you it's not not, about the expense and the glam it is about just loving you the way that that you need to be loved" [00:10:45] (31 seconds)


"Tommy i remember when we were we went on a vacation to the mountains and it was a really awful steep climb to get to a destination that that google had said we had to do and i remember everybody was encouraging us along the way and they were like oh it's so beautiful up there and like to the point where we had already been in for like 45 minutes into the walk that it was like a uphill um actually i feel like i had had covered maybe two months before that and you know it was a fairly new thing you know and i think with all the people here in the community i'm just like things so we didn't realize that that actually probably did affect yeah my lung capacity and stuff but um I remember the very last like 15 minutes we were like is it is it worth even doing this because all we could see on that path were trees and big boulders we were like really hoping to see a bear or something just so that it would be worth it because it was so it was not pretty honestly no it was just real tall trees and um this this family came by or maybe this was an elderly couple and they were like y 'all they didn't say y 'all because they were not so but they said you guys have to like just get y 'all are almost there y 'all just keep going and and I was thankful because it really was something I needed to hear at the time so and then we went a little and then we were like uh how much longer and they were like oh y 'all just go back a little bit further and you know you can take a turn and then there you're gonna see this really beautiful clearing like so we kept on pursuing even though it was hard even though like it hurt and we had no clue what was on the other side and when we got to the destination I will never ever forget it it was the most beautiful we've seen such beautiful things but I will I would do that journey again knowing the hills that we had to climb and the rocks that fell under our feet and I mean it was gorgeous it was an actual hike you and um it was it was totally worth it but when you were speaking like yes I I think what what happens and we've said this before too I think but where we think marriage is going to be kissing in the rain and beautiful moments they're like oh the children are going to be sweet all the time and they're going to look just like you and then they come out and they look like your aunt gertrude and they're awful kids that like don't mind they like have their own desires and scream in the car while you're trying to look at christmas lights like yeah" [00:11:08] (142 seconds)


"That is that is reality sometimes right and the things that we have to remember is the little the little that you said that so well with the micro moments that then you get there's been times in our marriage that like you know i'm washing dishes you're going to work i'm feeding the kids you're like cutting down trees or taking like bugs off of our tree so the tree doesn't die it's like totally not cool fun just adult things that we're doing and then one day we're like wow like we have we have still had conversations at night before we went to bed or we still like made sure that we ate supper together we just made you know like we've done these things that way now we can go enjoy a vacation and we know just me and tommy we don't have to just talk about the kids the whole time because we have dreams we have visions we have thoughts that because you have you have pursued after me you know where i want to go eat or what we want to do together um because of just the little things that did not look glamorous but we just kept walking forward right" [00:13:32] (68 seconds)


"Don't be concerned about being the most beautiful girl in the room, or if you're going to outshine everybody else, or if somebody else has more than you, or whatever. You be more concerned. You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of gentle and a quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands." [00:15:53] (30 seconds)


"Like when Saul was trying to pin him to the wall, like he conducted himself wisely. And I think that is, is something that I have since then, that was a couple of days ago. But like, I think about a lot now of like, am I conducting myself wisely? What is wisely? Wisely is knowing that in 20 years, I'm going to be proud of the decision I made. In 20 years, I'm going to be proud of the way that I talked to you, the way that I talked to my children, the way that I talked to my friends. Um, am I perfect with this? Absolutely." [00:26:03] (32 seconds)


"Not like there is still some character flaws that we all have to develop and we have to be aware of but at the very root core like do i do i feel safe with you and do you feel respected and loved and do i feel cherished you know like all of the things at the very end of the day even if i said one thing that may have been a little bit off -putting um my goal is for at the end of the day for you to be able to go to bed and be thankful that you're married to me yeah and i know we we talked about in our marriage enrichment um would you like to be married to yourself like that is a question that i've never asked myself until recently and and it's a weighty question that question can really give you some internal conflict or uh peace peace too if" [00:26:33] (55 seconds)


"Prove that i'm yeah i don't know like why do you do things like that but anyways the whole point to all of that is when you are both serving you can't be mad at each other there is no room for if you're constantly trying to serve me and i'm constantly trying to serve you it is going to be a circle of just love honestly because there's no stop okay the the flow and we can work together and sure i can be mad and you can be mad but at the end of the day we can go to sleep knowing that like he loves me he made my food and she loves me and wants to do whatever god desires for us to be doing that night you know you" [00:33:51] (47 seconds)


"And I know that there is some seasons where it feels like this is getting nowhere. I just want to encourage you to quote the scriptures until you start believing them. Because like I said before, there's been... There's been times where I just, I was like, God, in your word, it says this. I don't feel it. I don't see it. I'm not even, I can't even fathom how you're going to do this, but this is what you said. And so I'm going to trust that you see my conduct. You see my life. You see what I'm pursuing after and you will bless it." [00:38:49] (36 seconds)


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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?