Breaking Free from the Need for Approval

 

Summary

In life, many of us find ourselves trapped in a relentless pursuit of approval from those who seem unpleasable, often parents or authority figures. This quest can become a self-imposed prison, where we constantly strive to meet expectations that are ever-changing and unattainable. The truth is, if you haven't received their approval by now, it's unlikely you ever will. This isn't a reflection of your worth or abilities; rather, it highlights their inability to be satisfied. It's crucial to recognize that their unpleasable nature is their problem, not yours.

When you received a C, they wanted a B; when you achieved a B, they demanded an A; and even when you got an A, they expected straight A's. This cycle of dissatisfaction is endless and exhausting. However, the liberating truth is that you don't need their approval to be happy. Happiness and self-worth are not contingent upon the validation of others. Letting go of this need for approval can free you from the chains of their expectations and allow you to find joy and contentment within yourself.

Embrace the freedom that comes from understanding that your value is not determined by others' opinions. You are enough as you are, and your happiness is within your control. Release the burden of seeking approval and live a life that is true to who you are, not who others expect you to be.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Unattainable Approval: Many spend their lives seeking approval from those who are unpleasable, often leading to a cycle of disappointment and self-doubt. Recognize that their inability to be satisfied is their issue, not a reflection of your worth. [00:49]

2. The Self-Inflicted Prison: The pursuit of approval can become a self-imposed prison, trapping you in a cycle of trying to meet ever-changing expectations. Realize that if you haven't received their approval by now, it's unlikely you ever will. [00:36]

3. The Futility of Pleasing Others: Understand that the constant need to please others is futile and exhausting. Their dissatisfaction is not a measure of your abilities or value. [01:07]

4. Letting Go of Approval: Embrace the freedom that comes from letting go of the need for others' approval. Your happiness and self-worth are not dependent on their validation. [01:33]

5. Finding True Happiness: True happiness comes from within and is not contingent upon the approval of others. Live a life that is true to who you are, not who others expect you to be. [01:33]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:12] - The Unpleasable Person
[00:24] - The Pursuit of Approval
[00:36] - The Self-Inflicted Prison
[00:49] - It's Not Your Fault
[01:07] - The Futility of Pleasing
[01:19] - The Endless Cycle
[01:33] - Letting Go of Approval
[01:33] - Finding True Happiness

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Galatians 1:10 - "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."
- Proverbs 29:25 - "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."

Observation Questions:
1. What are some examples from the sermon of how people try to earn approval from unpleasable individuals? [00:12]
2. How does the sermon describe the cycle of trying to meet ever-changing expectations? [00:36]
3. According to the sermon, what is the key realization about the unpleasable nature of some people? [00:49]
4. What does the sermon suggest is the outcome of letting go of the need for others' approval? [01:33]

Interpretation Questions:
1. How does Galatians 1:10 challenge the idea of seeking approval from others? What does it mean to be a servant of Christ in this context?
2. In what ways does Proverbs 29:25 relate to the concept of a "self-inflicted prison" mentioned in the sermon? [00:36]
3. Why might the sermon emphasize that the problem of being unpleasable is not a reflection of one's worth? [00:49]
4. How does the sermon suggest that true happiness is found, and how does this align with the Bible passages? [01:33]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when you sought approval from someone who was unpleasable. How did it affect your self-worth and happiness? [00:12]
2. What steps can you take to break free from the "self-inflicted prison" of seeking approval from others? [00:36]
3. How can you remind yourself that your value is not determined by others' opinions, especially in challenging situations? [00:49]
4. Identify one area in your life where you are still seeking approval. What practical steps can you take to let go of this need? [01:33]
5. How can you cultivate a sense of self-worth and happiness that is independent of external validation? [01:33]
6. Consider someone in your life who is unpleasable. How can you adjust your expectations and interactions with them to protect your own well-being? [01:19]
7. What role does your faith play in finding true happiness and contentment within yourself? How can you strengthen this aspect of your life? [01:33]

Devotional

Day 1: The Unattainable Approval
Many people spend their lives seeking approval from those who are unpleasable, often leading to a cycle of disappointment and self-doubt. This pursuit can become a self-imposed prison, where individuals constantly strive to meet expectations that are ever-changing and unattainable. The truth is, if you haven't received their approval by now, it's unlikely you ever will. This isn't a reflection of your worth or abilities; rather, it highlights their inability to be satisfied. Recognize that their unpleasable nature is their problem, not yours. Understanding this can free you from the chains of their expectations and allow you to find joy and contentment within yourself. [00:49]

Galatians 1:10 (ESV): "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Reflection: Who in your life are you seeking approval from, and how can you begin to release yourself from this need today?


Day 2: The Self-Inflicted Prison
The pursuit of approval can become a self-imposed prison, trapping you in a cycle of trying to meet ever-changing expectations. This relentless quest can lead to feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion, as you constantly strive to meet standards that are impossible to achieve. Realize that if you haven't received their approval by now, it's unlikely you ever will. This understanding can be liberating, as it allows you to break free from the cycle of seeking validation from others. Instead, focus on finding your worth and happiness within yourself, independent of others' opinions. [00:36]

Proverbs 29:25 (ESV): "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe."

Reflection: What expectations have you placed on yourself that are based on others' opinions, and how can you begin to dismantle these today?


Day 3: The Futility of Pleasing Others
Understand that the constant need to please others is futile and exhausting. This cycle of dissatisfaction is endless, as no matter how much you achieve, it will never be enough for those who are unpleasable. Their dissatisfaction is not a measure of your abilities or value. Recognize that their inability to be satisfied is their issue, not a reflection of your worth. By letting go of the need to please others, you can find freedom and peace within yourself, knowing that your value is not determined by others' opinions. [01:07]

1 Thessalonians 2:4 (ESV): "But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts."

Reflection: Identify one area in your life where you are trying to please others, and consider how you can shift your focus to pleasing God instead.


Day 4: Letting Go of Approval
Embrace the freedom that comes from letting go of the need for others' approval. Your happiness and self-worth are not dependent on their validation. By releasing the burden of seeking approval, you can live a life that is true to who you are, not who others expect you to be. This shift in perspective allows you to find joy and contentment within yourself, independent of others' opinions. Embrace the truth that you are enough as you are, and your happiness is within your control. [01:33]

Colossians 3:23-24 (ESV): "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

Reflection: What is one step you can take today to let go of the need for approval from others and focus on living authentically?


Day 5: Finding True Happiness
True happiness comes from within and is not contingent upon the approval of others. By letting go of the need for validation, you can live a life that is true to who you are, not who others expect you to be. This understanding allows you to find joy and contentment within yourself, independent of others' opinions. Embrace the truth that your value is not determined by others, and your happiness is within your control. Live a life that reflects your true self, and find fulfillment in being who you are meant to be. [01:33]

Psalm 118:8-9 (ESV): "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes."

Reflection: Reflect on what true happiness means to you, and identify one way you can pursue this happiness from within today.

Quotes


some of you have spent all of your life trying in your mind to please an unpleasable person probably a parent and you wanted to show them wrong and and your dad or your mom said you're never going to amount to anything you're worthless why can't you be like your brother blah blah blah blah and all these things and you in your mind thought I am going to earn their approval and you have tried and you have tried and you have tried and tried to win that person's approval that unable and you haven't got it now I'm sorry and I'm sorry for the pain you've been in but let me just tell you something it's a self-inflicted prison that person that you've been trying to get their approval all your life and you haven't got it yet guess what you ain't going to get it if you haven't got it by now you're not going to ever get it but let me say something more important than that it's not about you it's not your fault it's not saying anything about you the problem is their problem they are unpleasable and when you got C's on your report guard they expected B's and when you got B's they expected A's you got an A they wanted Straight A's and they were always unpleasable that's their problem it's not your problem if you haven't got their approval by now you're not going to get it some of you are 50 60 years old still trying to get somebody's approval you're not going to get it but the better news is this you don't need it you don't need it to be happy you don't need their approval Let It Go I don't need the approval of other people to be happy [00:02:12]

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Transcript
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