Breaking Free from the Comparison Cycle
Summary
Taking a moment to reflect on our lives, we often find ourselves caught in the cycle of comparison, a cycle that leaves us spiritually parched and emotionally drained. This tendency to measure our worth against others is not a new phenomenon; it has been a part of human nature for centuries, even among the earliest disciples of Jesus. They too struggled with competition and comparison, as seen in the interactions between Peter and John. Jesus, however, offers a profound lesson in John 21, where He tells Peter, "What is that to you? You follow Me!" This statement is a call to focus on our unique journey with God, rather than being distracted by the paths of others.
Comparison, while sometimes beneficial in areas like sports or business, becomes detrimental when it infiltrates our personal relationships and spiritual lives. It drains our energy, creativity, and capacity to love. The Bible warns against covetousness, urging us to guard against all forms of it, as it leads us to question God's provision and goodness in our lives. Jesus emphasizes that our lives do not consist in the abundance of possessions or achievements, but in our relationship with Him.
To break free from this cycle, we must shift our focus from others to Jesus. Hebrews 12:1-2 encourages us to lay aside every weight and sin, and to run with endurance the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. By focusing on Him, we find the true source of life and fulfillment. This focus allows us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, without the burden of comparison.
In our pursuit of spiritual growth, we must remember that staring at someone else's grass doesn't make ours any greener. Instead, we should stretch out our hands to God, seeking His presence and nourishment. As we do so, we find that our souls are quenched, and we are empowered to live the life God has uniquely designed for us.
Key Takeaways:
- Comparison Drains Our Relationships: When we constantly compare ourselves to others, it strains our relationships and leaves us feeling isolated. True friendship and community are found when we can celebrate others' successes and support them in their struggles without envy or judgment. [16:21]
- Covetousness and Contentment: Coveting what others have leads us to question God's provision in our lives. Jesus teaches us that life is not about the abundance of possessions but about our relationship with Him. Finding contentment in God's plan for us is key to spiritual peace. [17:39]
- Focus on Jesus, Not Others: Hebrews 12:1-2 calls us to focus on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. By keeping our eyes on Him, we avoid the distractions of comparison and find true fulfillment in our spiritual journey. [34:10]
- Rejoice and Mourn with Others: Genuine community is built when we can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. This requires us to let go of competition and embrace empathy and compassion. [24:52]
- Stretch Out for God's Presence: Our souls are parched when we follow the world's script of comparison. By stretching out to God and seeking His presence, we find the spiritual moisture we need to thrive. [42:11]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:36] - The Hair Story
- [01:07] - Prayer and Introduction
- [02:28] - The Dry Well Analogy
- [03:41] - The Problem of Comparisonitis
- [04:54] - Competition in Life
- [06:38] - Disciples' Competition
- [09:10] - Peter and John's Rivalry
- [11:01] - Jesus' Response to Comparison
- [12:16] - The Dehydration Vortex
- [15:08] - Primitive Drives and Spiritual Growth
- [18:31] - Covetousness and God's Provision
- [21:06] - Healing and Comparison
- [24:10] - Rejoicing with Others
- [30:53] - Focus on Jesus
- [38:04] - Running Our Race
- [42:11] - Stretching Out for God's Presence
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
1. John 21:20-22
2. Hebrews 12:1-2
3. Luke 12:15
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Observation Questions:
1. In John 21:20-22, what is Jesus' response to Peter's question about John, and what does this reveal about Jesus' perspective on comparison? [11:01]
2. According to Hebrews 12:1-2, what are believers encouraged to do in their spiritual journey, and how does this relate to the theme of focusing on Jesus rather than others? [34:10]
3. In Luke 12:15, what warning does Jesus give about covetousness, and how does this relate to the sermon’s message about comparison and contentment? [17:39]
4. How does the sermon describe the impact of comparison on personal relationships and spiritual vitality? [16:21]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. What might Jesus' statement "What is that to you? You follow Me!" in John 21:22 suggest about the importance of individual focus in one's spiritual journey? [11:01]
2. How does the concept of "running the race set before us" in Hebrews 12:1-2 help believers understand their unique path in faith without comparing themselves to others? [34:10]
3. In what ways does covetousness, as warned against in Luke 12:15, lead individuals to question God's provision and goodness in their lives? [17:39]
4. How does the sermon illustrate the detrimental effects of comparison on one's ability to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn? [24:52]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when you found yourself comparing your life to someone else's. How did it affect your relationship with that person and your own sense of contentment? What steps can you take to focus more on your unique journey with God? [11:01]
2. Hebrews 12:1-2 encourages believers to lay aside every weight and sin. What specific "weights" or distractions in your life are preventing you from focusing on Jesus, and how can you address them this week? [34:10]
3. Jesus warns against all forms of covetousness in Luke 12:15. Identify an area in your life where you struggle with covetousness. How can you practice gratitude and contentment in that area? [17:39]
4. The sermon emphasizes the importance of rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn. Think of a recent situation where you struggled to genuinely celebrate someone else's success. What can you do to cultivate a more empathetic and supportive attitude? [24:52]
5. Consider the idea that "staring at someone else's grass doesn't make yours any greener." How can you shift your focus from what others have to nurturing your own spiritual growth and relationship with God? [27:18]
6. The sermon suggests that comparison drains our energy and creativity. What is one practical way you can redirect your energy towards a personal goal or passion that aligns with God's purpose for your life? [22:17]
7. Reflect on the concept of "stretching out for God's presence" as mentioned in the sermon. What is one specific way you can seek God's presence and nourishment in your daily routine this week? [42:11]
Devotional
Day 1: The Trap of Comparison Drains Our Souls
Comparison is a pervasive issue that affects our relationships and spiritual well-being. When we constantly measure ourselves against others, it leads to feelings of inadequacy and isolation. This tendency is not new; even the disciples of Jesus struggled with it. The Bible warns us about the dangers of covetousness, which can cause us to question God's provision and goodness in our lives. Instead of focusing on what others have, we are called to focus on our unique journey with God. By doing so, we can build genuine friendships and communities where we celebrate others' successes and support them in their struggles without envy or judgment. [16:21]
"Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another." (Galatians 5:26, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a relationship in your life that has been strained by comparison. How can you take a step today to celebrate that person's success without envy?
Day 2: Covetousness Clouds Our Contentment
Covetousness is a subtle yet powerful force that can lead us to question God's provision in our lives. It is the desire for what others have, whether it be possessions, achievements, or status. Jesus teaches us that life is not about the abundance of possessions but about our relationship with Him. Finding contentment in God's plan for us is key to spiritual peace. When we focus on what we lack, we miss out on the blessings that God has already provided. By cultivating gratitude and contentment, we can experience the peace that comes from trusting in God's perfect plan for our lives. [17:39]
"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" (Hebrews 13:5, ESV)
Reflection: Identify one area of your life where you feel discontent. How can you practice gratitude today for what God has already provided?
Day 3: Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus
Hebrews 12:1-2 calls us to focus on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. By keeping our eyes on Him, we avoid the distractions of comparison and find true fulfillment in our spiritual journey. When we focus on Jesus, we are reminded of His love, grace, and purpose for our lives. This focus allows us to run the race set before us with endurance, laying aside every weight and sin that hinders us. By looking to Jesus, we find the strength and guidance we need to navigate the challenges of life and grow in our faith. [34:10]
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:2, ESV)
Reflection: What is one practical way you can shift your focus from worldly distractions to Jesus today?
Day 4: Embracing Empathy and Compassion
Genuine community is built when we can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. This requires us to let go of competition and embrace empathy and compassion. By doing so, we create an environment where people feel valued and supported. When we are able to empathize with others, we strengthen our relationships and build a sense of belonging. This is the essence of true friendship and community, where we can share in each other's joys and sorrows without the burden of comparison. [24:52]
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15, ESV)
Reflection: Think of someone who is going through a joyful or difficult time. How can you show empathy and support to them today?
Day 5: Seeking God's Presence for Spiritual Nourishment
Our souls are parched when we follow the world's script of comparison. By stretching out to God and seeking His presence, we find the spiritual moisture we need to thrive. When we focus on our relationship with God, we are nourished and empowered to live the life He has uniquely designed for us. This involves spending time in prayer, reading the Bible, and seeking God's guidance in our daily lives. As we draw closer to God, we experience His peace, joy, and fulfillment, which cannot be found in the things of this world. [42:11]
"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God." (Psalm 42:1, ESV)
Reflection: What is one way you can intentionally seek God's presence today to nourish your soul?
Quotes
He said, "Well, if the well is dry, let's just dig another well." And everyone around the table went, "[indiscernible] Yeah, yeah, we've got enough property here. Let's just dig another well. Problem solved." This is a physical reality of what's happening with many of us. Our well is dry. There's no moisture in there and we're sucking wind. The pump is running. We're doing what we think we need to do to get some moisture, but it's not happening. So we keep doing the same thing we're doing, trying really, really harder. And yet our soul is as parched as ever. [00:02:50]
And what I want to encourage us to do is, hey, let's dig another well. Let's try something different where there might be some moisture and where you might actually find the presence of God. And one of the ways that we are sucking air, where it's not going to give us life, is what I'm calling comparisonitis. It's competing with other people and comparing ourselves with other people. And we have an endless opportunity to do that because we endlessly bump up with other people and we feel like I'm not stacking up to them. [00:03:39]
And competition can actually be a good thing. It can be a really good thing. Competition is really good in youth sports. It's really good because it teaches kids, sorry, not everybody wins. And not only that, the way you win in life is you prepare for life. You do the dirty things before the game. You work out, you listen to your coach and that's how you get ahead in life. You win in life by doing things other people don't want to do and work hard. Competition in youth sports is is really, really good. [00:04:41]
But where it is never healthy is when we compete with another person and they don't even know the competition is happening. Actually they do because they're doing the same thing. This is a normal thing. Now this is not a modern American problem. This is a human problem. This is the way we all are. And this is actually the way the earliest disciples of Jesus were. They were competing with each other. They were measuring each other up according to their own standard of themselves. [00:06:12]
And Jesus gets transfigured in front of them. He sheds, if you will, His humanness and they see His heavenly glory, His holiness, and He glows and they're utterly freaked out. But these three have that, and the other don't. And inside of that we have Peter and John, inside of that click of three, they still compete with each other. They're comparing each other. And by the way, as I'm talking about this stuff, this is never seen as good. It's never seen as healthy. It's just what it is. It's where we are. [00:07:40]
And God would say that to all of us when we look at other people competing with who are getting ahead of us in business, who are getting ahead of us in our families, who have bodies that are better than ours, who have opportunities that are better than ours, who have parents that are better than ours, who have personalities that are better than ours, who have health that are better than ours. And we're going, "Why not me? Why do you have? Why?" God would say to us, "Hey, if I'm doing this in that person's life, what is that to you? [00:11:42]
Comparison drains our energy, gives us less creativity and less love to give God and give other people. A friend of mine, Jim Burgen, he is a pastor of a really great church in Colorado. And for years and years, because for years and years we've been doing that horse weekend, you know, or my friend Todd Pierce, the horse whisperer, comes in and we bring that horse up on stage and it's awesome. And, you know, sand gets kicked everywhere. And I'm an evangelist generally for anything that I'm really excited about. [00:22:29]
And the people do have kids and read the Bible can see that Paul says it's great if you're not married. You can look at them and go, "Well, why are you married? Why would you waste your time with all those fights and all those things like that?" And it's just, again, I go on and on examples of all the wasted energy that's happening and what it does, it drains our focus. It drains our focus. Focus on what? Focus on Jesus, if you're into that sort of thing. Most of us aren't into that sort of thing. [00:30:21]
We want just enough Jesus to qualify us to check Christian on the hospital check in form. We want just enough Jesus to be able to align with the political party that makes us feel in. And we want just enough Jesus to give us fire insurance if there actually is a hell. We want just enough Jesus to fit into the cultural context that we're in. Just enough Jesus to not upset mom or not upset grandma, just enough. But man, when it gets tough, when it gets rough, when we're comparing ourselves to other people, [00:31:57]
Your focus always needs to be on your blessings, on your growth, on your goals, on your happiness, on your everyday movements. And when you compare yourself to other people, you're being a disservice to your soul. You've got to start romanticizing your life. This is good. They're saying, "Hey, stop comparing other people." But what's the operative word in this quote? You're, you. It's all about you. Your focus, your blessings, your growth, your goals, on you happiness, your everyday movement, romanticize your life. [00:32:58]
I choose to not be about me. And anybody who would come after Christ choose the same thing. It's not about us. It's about focusing on Jesus. That is where the water is. That is where the spring of life is. That is where the well is. Just thinking about not thinking about somebody else, but thinking about myself and myself and myself. I still have no water in and of myself. I have to go to the source of the water. I'm to compare myself to Jesus. I'm not to compare myself to my CEO friend. [00:33:56]
There's a race for you to run. There's something for you to do. There's somebody for you to be. There's a life for you to fulfill. And guess what all that is? That's everything from here to Jesus and He is the goal. He is the target. He's where we're going. And the sooner we let that sink into our blood and start drinking that water, the sooner our hearts are going to be nourished and fulfilled. I had a pretty horrible thing happen to me, I'll end with this. [00:37:59]
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