Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Embracing God's Approval

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People pleasing is a great problem for many people I would say probably for most people because nobody likes to be criticized yeah nobody likes to be rejected we want to be affirmed and admired and accepted and therefore everybody is vulnerable to this temptation and and when we don't get victory over this temptation of people pleasing it can become a very unhealthy controlling neediness that keeps us in bondage rather than liberating us to do God's will with joy. [00:44:39]

Paul says the same thing the same kind of thing Elsewhere for example second Thessalonians 2 4 he says as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel so we speak not to please man but to please God who tests our hearts and he tells slaves in Ephesians 6 5 Obey your Earthly Masters not by way of eye Service as people Pleasers but as Bond Servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart. [01:24:68]

Both of them say or imply that if you live to please other people you will not live for the sake of the truth which clearly means you won't live for the sake of the will of God the opinion of others will become your God and will lead you around as if you had a hook in your nose and you will not be authentic and you will not be obedient and you will not be able to fulfill God's purpose for you on the earth which is to glorify him rather than to esteem the opinion of others so highly. [03:03:70]

The efforts to please people in both Romans 15 and First Corinthians 10 are not to Curry the favor of others nor to avoid criticism this effort to please in those two texts is not self-exalting and it's not self-protecting it is entirely in the service of doing good to others not enhancing one's own position or protecting oneself in the one text Paul says he pleases others to build them up and in the other he says he pleases people in order that they may be saved. [04:42:20]

The first thing that needs to happen is that our God needs to become bigger in our lives and in our minds and in our hearts God must increase people must decrease Ed Welch wrote a whole book called when people are big and God is small that's a great title that's the basic problem people and their opinion large in our minds hearts while God is a distant scarcely discernible influence on what we feel and do that has to change. [06:31:80]

So by prayer and study of God's word we should focus on the majesty and glory of God in all his attributes and all his ways we need to preach to ourselves that there really is no comparison between knowing god and knowing people between pleasing God and pleasing people between treasuring God and treasuring people God is infinitely greater more glorious more satisfying more rewarding than all the people in the world put together. [07:07:80]

The second thing that needs to happen and it happens by means of the first is that when God becomes big our identity in relation to God becomes secure firm glorious if the creator of the universe is your father and you are an heir of everything he owns how could the opinion of say oh a million people a million mere humans control your sense of Destiny your sense of Who You Are. [08:03:60]

Listen to Paul's logic in First Corinthians 3 21 following let no one boast in men I remember what was happening was some were saying I'm of Christ I'm of Apollos I'm of Peter I'm of Paul meaning I'm getting my strokes and my identity from lining up with the really famous guy he was a really good guy these are needy people okay so let no one boast in men he says for you're the argument for all things are yours. [08:51:02]

We need to be deeply persuaded that our reward is great in heaven very great precisely because we incur the displeasure of other people in our faithfulness to Jesus listen to Jesus in Matthew 5 11. blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account rejoice you can't do that if you're a people pleaser rejoice and be glad why for great is your reward in heaven. [10:06:32]

So instead of being depressed or controlled by the rejection and the disapproval of others Jesus says if you're walking in obedience to me that very rejection will result in a great reward we need to believe that we need to believe that our reward in heaven is great I get so sick of people talking about Pie in the Sky by by having no relevance for this life good grief what could be more relevant in in Jesus argument here if you have the resources to rejoice in the face of being scorned persecuted reviled rejected you got resources to love your enemy like crazy. [10:49:92]

May God make your identity as his child who will inherit everything firm make your identity as his child stable firm deep unshakable and realize how great your reward is while walking in obedience to Jesus precisely because you incur the displeasure of others not because you avoid it yeah very helpful Trio of steps thank you Pastor John and thank you for joining us today you can ask a question of your own search our growing archive or subscribe to the podcast all at askposterjohn.com. [11:45:24]

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