Breaking Free: Embracing God's Design for Intimacy

 

Summary

In today's sermon, we confront the pervasive and often secretive sin of lust—a strong craving or desire, particularly of a sexual nature. As we continue our series "Totally Eclipse of the Heart," we delve into the reality that lust is a struggle common to all, regardless of age, gender, or marital status. It is a sin that thrives in secrecy, breeding shame, a tool of Satan to keep us ensnared and isolated from the healing power of community and the light of God's truth.

We must understand that God's design for sex is pure and intended to be experienced within the sacred bounds of marriage between one man and one woman. When we deviate from this design, we step into sexual immorality, which encompasses everything from fantasizing to engaging in pornography. Pornography, in particular, is destructive as it creates a false sense of intimacy, tricks our brain with fleeting hormones, and leads us into a cycle of shame.

To break free from the cycle of lust, we must first confess in community. Ephesians 5:11 exhorts us to expose the deeds of darkness, bringing what is hidden into the light. This confession is the first step towards healing and freedom. Secondly, we must change our patterns, identifying and altering the triggers that lead us into temptation. Lastly, we must choose love over lust, recognizing that true love is patient, kind, and selfless, contrasting sharply with the fleeting and selfish nature of lust.

God's will for us is sanctification, as stated in 1 Thessalonians 4:3. Sanctification is the process of becoming more like Jesus Christ, choosing daily to live in obedience to His commands. This includes controlling our bodies in a way that is holy and honorable, rejecting the patterns of the world that do not know God. God's desire is for us to live a holy life, reflecting His goodness, faithfulness, and freedom.

As we address this topic, it is crucial to have open and honest conversations, especially with the younger generation, to safeguard their hearts. The alarming statistics on pornography consumption underscore the urgency of this dialogue. We must expose the pornography industry for what it is—a business that profits from the exploitation of individuals and the perpetuation of sin and shame.

In conclusion, God's heart breaks when we harm ourselves and others through the sin of lust. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to break the chains of sin and shame, offering us a path to righteousness and holiness. It is through Christ that we find the strength to overcome temptation and live in the freedom and light of God's love.

Key Takeaways:

- Confession in community is essential for breaking the cycle of lust. When we bring our struggles into the light, we dismantle the power of secrecy and shame. This act of vulnerability is the first step toward healing and aligns with the biblical call to expose the deeds of darkness. [36:43]

- Changing our patterns is a proactive step in combating lust. It requires us to identify our triggers and make necessary adjustments to our environment and habits. This may involve setting boundaries with technology or seeking accountability within our relationships. The goal is to create a lifestyle that honors God and fosters purity. [38:21]

- Choosing love over lust means embracing a selfless, patient, and kind approach to relationships. Love seeks the best for the other person, while lust is rooted in selfish desire. This choice reflects the heart of God and leads to fulfilling and lasting connections that honor Him. [27:32]

- Understanding God's design for sex is crucial. He created it to be a beautiful and pleasurable experience within the context of marriage. When we align our sexual lives with His design, we experience the fullness of intimacy as He intended, free from the harmful consequences of sexual immorality. [12:10]

- Sanctification is a daily choice to grow closer to Jesus and become more like Him. It involves a commitment to live according to God's will, avoiding sexual immorality, and pursuing a life of holiness. This process is not about achieving perfection but about living in the righteousness of Christ, which empowers us to overcome sin. [14:54]

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (NIV)
> "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit."

#### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, what does Paul say is God's will for us?
2. What does Paul mean by "sanctified" and how does it relate to avoiding sexual immorality? [14:38]
3. In the sermon, what are the three practical steps mentioned to break the cycle of lust? [35:49]
4. How does the sermon describe the impact of pornography on our brains and relationships? [16:16]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize the importance of controlling our bodies in a holy and honorable way? How does this relate to our daily lives? [24:02]
2. The sermon mentions that sanctification is a daily choice. What are some daily actions we can take to grow closer to Jesus and avoid sexual immorality? [15:02]
3. How does the secrecy of lust and pornography contribute to the cycle of sin and shame? What does the sermon suggest as a solution to this secrecy? [13:00]
4. The sermon discusses the counterfeit nature of pornography compared to God's design for intimacy. How can recognizing this difference help us choose love over lust? [17:07]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own life: Are there areas where you have kept struggles with lust or pornography hidden? How can you bring these into the light through confession? [35:57]
2. What are some specific patterns or triggers in your life that lead you into lustful behavior? How can you change these patterns to avoid falling into temptation? [36:48]
3. The sermon encourages choosing love over lust. What are some practical ways you can embrace God's design for intimacy in your relationships? [38:21]
4. How can you support a friend or family member who is struggling with lust or pornography? What steps can you take to create a safe and supportive environment for them? [36:03]
5. The sermon highlights the harmful effects of pornography on both personal and societal levels. What actions can you take to protect yourself and your loved ones from its pervasive reach? [18:06]
6. Think about a time when you felt shame due to lustful thoughts or actions. How did this affect your relationship with God and others? What steps can you take to break free from this cycle of shame? [13:04]
7. How can you cultivate a daily practice of sanctification, drawing closer to Jesus and becoming more like Him? What specific actions will you commit to this week to honor God with your body and actions? [15:02]

Devotional

Day 1: Embracing Light for True Freedom
Lust thrives in the shadows of secrecy, but it is in the light where one finds true freedom and wholeness. Confession is the act of bringing one's struggles into the open, not to be shamed, but to break the chains of darkness that bind. It is a courageous step towards the life that God has planned, a life of liberty and healing. By confessing, individuals step out of the shadows and into the community, where they can find support, accountability, and the strength to overcome the temptations that once held them captive. This act of vulnerability is the first step in a journey towards sanctification, where one's life begins to reflect the goodness and faithfulness of God. [39:15]

"Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." (Ephesians 5:11-14 ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of lust or temptation you have kept hidden that you can bring into the light through confession to a trusted friend or spiritual leader today?

Day 2: Daily Choices for Sanctification
Sanctification is not a one-time event but a daily journey of growing closer to Jesus and becoming more like Him. It involves making conscious decisions to honor God with our bodies and actions, reflecting His goodness and faithfulness in every aspect of life. This path requires discipline and commitment, as it is about actively choosing God's ways over the world's temptations. As believers make these daily choices, they are transformed bit by bit into the image of Christ, living testimonies of His grace and love. [14:54]

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor." (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 ESV)

Reflection: What is one specific way you can choose sanctification over temptation today, and how can you make this choice a consistent part of your daily routine?

Day 3: God's Design for Pure Joy
God's design for sex is a pure and pleasurable experience within the covenant of marriage. Deviating from this design leads to the enemy's trap of counterfeit pleasure, but God offers a path back to purity and joy. By understanding and embracing God's intentions for intimacy, believers can experience the fullness of love and connection that He intended. This understanding helps to guard against the lies and deceptions that the world presents as truth, enabling individuals to build relationships that are rooted in genuine love and respect. [15:45]

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4 ESV)

Reflection: How can you honor God's design for sexuality in your current or future relationships, and what steps can you take to uphold the purity and joy intended for the marriage covenant?

Day 4: The Deception of Pornography
The harmful effects of pornography extend beyond personal struggles; they impact society by distorting the true meaning of intimacy. Pornography creates a false reality that can damage one's ability to form healthy relationships and understand genuine intimacy. It is a pervasive industry that profits at the expense of individuals' well-being and God's design for sexuality. Recognizing the deception of pornography is crucial in protecting oneself and loved ones from its reach. By choosing to expose and reject this industry, believers take a stand for truth and wholeness. [17:51]

"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:16 ESV)

Reflection: What are some practical steps you can take to guard yourself and your loved ones against the influence of pornography, and how can you actively promote a culture of purity in your community?

Day 5: Choosing Love Over Lust
Choosing love over lust means embracing God's perfect design for intimacy and rejecting the counterfeit pleasures that the world offers. This choice is about valuing genuine relationships that are built on love, respect, and commitment, rather than fleeting moments of pleasure that lead to emptiness and pain. By choosing love, believers honor God and contribute to the creation of a society that values the sanctity of marriage and the beauty of pure relationships. This choice is a testament to the transformative power of God's love in one's life. [38:21]

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good." (Romans 12:9 ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you choose to prioritize love over lust in your daily interactions, and how can you demonstrate the value of genuine, God-honoring relationships to those around you?

Quotes

- "Lust is the enemy's way to take you out. It's easy, readily accessible, and it takes a lot of discipline and obedience to not engage. It's actually way harder to not engage." [23:50](Download | )

- "God's heart breaks when you and I hurt ourselves with the sin of lust and when we hurt other people with it. He wants us to live a holy life, reflecting his goodness and faithfulness." [09:18](Download | )

- "We just keep it a secret. We don't tell anybody our temptations. That secret actually keeps us rooted in shame, and shame is from Satan." [14:00](Download | )

- "Sanctification means we get to choose every single day to take one step closer to becoming more like Jesus Christ. We become more like him because we choose the things that honor him." [14:54](Download | )

- "God designed sex to be the most pleasurable experience we have ever had, under his perfect design of one man and one woman uniting in marriage." [12:10](Download | )

- "The hidden secret is actually killing your ability to move forward with God. We have to expose what's in the dark and bring it to light. Don't keep it secret anymore." [36:43](Download | )

- "Holy does not mean perfect. It means in Christ's righteousness. When we are followers of Jesus Christ, we understand that there's going to be times that we're going to fail." [26:26](Download | )

- "The enemy wants to keep us hidden, to keep us wrapped up in shame, to keep us tangled up, to keep us from an authentic relationship from one another." [13:11](Download | )

- "We are tricking our brain into believing that what we're experiencing is real. We're watching a false image of sexual intimacy, and our body is responding as if it's real." [16:39](Download | )

- "Confess in community. There is hope on the other side of confession. There is freedom that can be found. We want to break the chain of sin and shame." [39:15](Download | )

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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?