Games We Play // The Blame Game

Doctor Robert Anthony, he says this. He says, when you blame others, you give up your power to change. When you blame other people for what's going on in your life, you give up power to change. When you assign blame, you are giving up the power to change your circumstances and to change yourself. It's saying, hey. Well, this isn't on me. This isn't on me, so I don't need to do anything about it. I don't need to fix this. But when when you assign blame and when you assign blame to people or your circumstances or to God or your upbringing or your parents or whatever, you know, whatever it is that you blame for your the reason that you are at at where you're at in life, what you're saying is it's outside of my control. That's outside of my control. [00:23:21] (43 seconds)  #DontGiveYourPowerAway

There are several reasons why we do this. A lot of some of them psychological. Of the reasons one of the reasons that we do this is to escape discomfort of bearing responsibility for our situation. Brene Brown has a lot of really popular quotes. This is one of them. She says, blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. Blaming other people is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. Somebody's responsible. Somebody's at fault, and I don't want it to be me because then I'd have to bear, you know, the the discomfort. And so blame is just simply transferring that discomfort onto someone else, and it damages our relationships. [00:21:33] (44 seconds)  #BlameDamagesRelationships

Here's another thing when it comes to to blame. Did did you know that blame this is important. Blame is the number one predictor of a failed romantic relationship. Blame is the number one predictor of a failed romantic relationship. You can actually look at John Gottman's studies. He's got a lot of very popular studies on this. They they studied couples, and they've they reached a point where they could guess with a better than 90% accuracy whether or not a couple was going to last. They could predict whether or not a couple was going to get divorced based off of what they called chronic blame. If there is chronic blame in the relationship, [00:25:12] (41 seconds)  #ChronicBlameKillsLove

they can predict with a 90% plus accuracy that that couple's not gonna make it. If and they they did this based off of when couples would come in for counseling or they'd come in to to share the the status of the relationship or whatever. If they were looking at each other and going, you're the you're the problem. If you would just fix this, if you would fix this about you or if you wouldn't do this anymore or whatever, those are the couples that, you know, didn't work. But the people that came into their office or or came into counseling and and would go, hey, We have a problem. We have a problem. What do we need to do to fix this? Those are the couples that were successful. [00:25:54] (41 seconds)  #FixTogetherNotBlame

Jesus entered into our messy world that he did not create. He didn't create the mess. He entered into our mess and he took responsibility for things that are not his fault, that were not his fault. He took responsibility for those things upon himself. That's what Jesus did for you and for me when he went to the cross. And so as Jesus followers, that's what we do. And as Jesus followers, what that means is in Christ, you are stronger than things are terrible. Whatever you're going through in life, with Christ in you and through you, you are stronger than things are terrible. [00:28:15] (40 seconds)  #JesusTookResponsibility

You think you can't keep going. You think you're like your situation is the worst possible situation or it can't get any lower. In Christ, you are stronger than things are terrible. You can overcome through Jesus who sustains you. Whatever your circumstances, whatever, whatever your life looks like, what would it look like if you were to embrace your ability to assume responsibility? Even if it's not your fault. Even if whatever it is that you're walking through is not your fault. If you embrace your ability to if you embrace your ability to assume responsibility, things will begin to change, first of all, in you. [00:28:56] (44 seconds)  #ChooseResponsibilityChange

I've experienced this in my own life. When when I'm like when I take responsibility and and I do something about it and I'm I'm like, I I seek God. There's something that happens in me, and then as it as it happens in you, things will begin to change around you. That's the invite today. But in order to do that, you have to quit playing the victim. You have to quit playing the blame game. You have to quit blaming your parents or your your your however you were raised or your spouse or your kids or your schools or your job or whatever it is that you blame. You have to quit playing the victim. You have to quit playing the blame game. You can choose the blame game [00:29:39] (35 seconds)  #QuitPlayingVictim

or you can choose to partner with a god who wants to change things in you and through you in your world. So that's the invite. The invite today is to pack up the blame game in your relationships at work, at home, at school, in life. Put that aside and assume responsibility and do something about it. Unlike Moses who decided it was everybody else's fault but his own. That's the invite today. [00:30:14] (30 seconds)  #LeaveTheBlameGame