Biblical Insights on Relationships, Authority, and Marriage

 

Summary

In today's discussion, we delved into the complexities of relationships, authority, and marriage from a biblical perspective. We began by addressing the concept of "missionary dating," where a believer dates a non-believer with the hope of converting them. This practice is discouraged as it undermines the importance of shared faith in a relationship, which is foundational for a marriage that honors God. Dating should not be seen as an evangelistic tool but as a step towards a union that aligns with biblical teachings.

We also explored the dynamics of authority within marriage, particularly when a wife's submission to her husband conflicts with her spiritual obligations. The principle is clear: we must obey God above all else. However, applying this principle can be challenging, especially when dealing with non-believing spouses. The church plays a crucial role in supporting and guiding individuals in these situations, ensuring that burdens are not unnecessarily increased.

The discussion further touched on the qualifications for church leadership, particularly the phrase "husband of one wife." This was interpreted as a call for faithfulness and integrity, rather than a strict prohibition against remarriage after divorce or widowhood. The emphasis was on the character and faithfulness of the individual.

We also examined the grounds for divorce, highlighting that while divorce is not encouraged, there are biblical allowances for it, such as sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. The church must handle these situations with wisdom and care, recognizing the profound impact of broken covenants.

Finally, we discussed the role of public commitment in marriage, emphasizing that marriage is a covenant made before God and witnesses, not a private agreement. This public aspect underscores the seriousness and accountability inherent in the marriage covenant.

Key Takeaways:

1. Missionary Dating and Faith's Importance: Engaging in relationships with the intent to convert a non-believer can diminish the perceived importance of one's faith. Dating should lead towards a union that honors God, not serve as an evangelistic strategy. The integrity of faith must be upheld in all relationships. [02:24]

2. Authority and Submission in Marriage: The biblical principle of submission is clear but challenging to apply, especially when a spouse's demands conflict with God's commands. The church must support individuals in these situations, ensuring that they prioritize obedience to God while navigating complex marital dynamics. [04:16]

3. Qualifications for Church Leadership: The phrase "husband of one wife" emphasizes faithfulness and integrity. It is not merely about marital status but about the character and commitment of the individual. Leaders must exemplify fidelity and moral integrity in their personal lives. [12:54]

4. Biblical Grounds for Divorce: While divorce is not the ideal, Scripture provides allowances for it in cases of sexual immorality and abandonment. The church must approach these situations with wisdom, recognizing the deep impact of broken covenants and offering support to those affected. [16:01]

5. Public Commitment in Marriage: Marriage is a public covenant made before God and witnesses, not a private agreement. This public aspect reinforces the seriousness and accountability of the marriage vows, highlighting the communal and divine dimensions of the marital relationship. [21:42]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:07] - Introduction to Missionary Dating
- [01:15] - Relationships and Marriage Direction
- [02:46] - Authority and Submission in Marriage
- [04:16] - Obeying God Over Man
- [05:00] - Church as a Family and Court of Appeals
- [06:22] - Practical Challenges in Submission
- [08:12] - Misinterpretations of Ephesians
- [11:23] - Qualifications for Church Leadership
- [14:04] - Grounds for Divorce
- [19:08] - Addressing Physical Violence in Marriage
- [20:04] - Importance of Public Marriage Ceremonies
- [23:20] - Role of a Husband in Sanctification
- [27:05] - Family Worship and Teaching
- [29:03] - Encouragement for Believers with Unbelieving Spouses
- [35:05] - Balancing Ministry and Family Life

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Ephesians 5:22-24 - "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
2. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 - "To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
3. Matthew 19:9 - "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Observation Questions:
1. What is the biblical stance on "missionary dating," and why is it discouraged according to the sermon? [00:21]
2. How does the sermon describe the role of authority and submission within a marriage, especially when there is a conflict between a spouse's demands and God's commands? [03:12]
3. What does the phrase "husband of one wife" mean in the context of church leadership, as discussed in the sermon? [11:23]
4. What are the biblical grounds for divorce mentioned in the sermon, and how should the church approach these situations? [14:04]

Interpretation Questions:
1. How might the principle of submission in Ephesians 5:22-24 be challenging to apply in modern marriages, especially when one spouse is a non-believer? [02:59]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest the church can support individuals dealing with complex marital dynamics, particularly when it comes to authority and submission? [05:00]
3. How does the sermon interpret the biblical grounds for divorce, and what wisdom does it offer for handling these situations with care? [16:01]
4. What is the significance of public commitment in marriage, and how does it reinforce the seriousness of the marriage covenant? [21:42]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your own relationships. Are there any areas where you might be compromising your faith for the sake of the relationship? How can you address this? [02:24]
2. If you are married, how do you navigate situations where your spouse's requests conflict with your spiritual obligations? What support do you need from your church community? [04:16]
3. Consider the qualities of faithfulness and integrity in your own life. How can you cultivate these traits to be a better leader or role model in your community? [12:54]
4. Have you or someone you know experienced a situation where divorce was considered due to biblical grounds? How did the church support or fail to support in that situation? [16:01]
5. How do you view the public aspect of marriage? If you are married, how did your wedding ceremony reflect the seriousness and accountability of the marriage covenant? [21:42]
6. For those with unbelieving spouses, what practical steps can you take to live out your faith authentically while respecting your spouse's beliefs? [29:03]
7. How can you, as part of the church community, support those who are struggling with marital issues, ensuring they feel loved and guided rather than judged? [05:00]

Devotional

Day 1: The Integrity of Faith in Relationships
Dating should not be used as a tool for evangelism, particularly when it involves a believer dating a non-believer with the hope of conversion. This practice, often referred to as "missionary dating," can undermine the importance of shared faith, which is foundational for a marriage that honors God. Relationships should be built on mutual faith and understanding, leading towards a union that aligns with biblical teachings. The integrity of one's faith must be upheld in all relationships, ensuring that the spiritual foundation is strong and unwavering. [02:24]

"For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, ESV)

Reflection: Is there a relationship in your life where you are compromising your faith? How can you realign this relationship to honor God today?


Day 2: Navigating Authority and Submission in Marriage
The biblical principle of submission within marriage can be challenging, especially when a spouse's demands conflict with God's commands. In such situations, obedience to God must take precedence. The church plays a vital role in supporting individuals facing these complex dynamics, ensuring they prioritize their spiritual obligations while navigating marital challenges. It is essential to seek guidance and support from the church community to maintain a balance between submission and spiritual integrity. [04:16]

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." (Ephesians 5:22-23, ESV)

Reflection: Are there areas in your marriage where you feel torn between submission and your spiritual obligations? How can you seek support from your church community to navigate these challenges?


Day 3: Faithfulness and Integrity in Leadership
The phrase "husband of one wife" in the context of church leadership emphasizes the importance of faithfulness and integrity. It is not merely about marital status but about the character and commitment of the individual. Leaders in the church are called to exemplify fidelity and moral integrity in their personal lives, serving as role models for the congregation. This standard ensures that those in leadership positions are trustworthy and dedicated to their spiritual responsibilities. [12:54]

"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach." (1 Timothy 3:2, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you demonstrate faithfulness and integrity in your own life, whether or not you are in a leadership position? How can you support your church leaders in maintaining these standards?


Day 4: Understanding Biblical Grounds for Divorce
While divorce is not encouraged, Scripture provides allowances for it in cases of sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. The church must approach these situations with wisdom and care, recognizing the profound impact of broken covenants. It is crucial to offer support and guidance to those affected by divorce, helping them navigate the emotional and spiritual challenges that arise from such circumstances. [16:01]

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." (1 Corinthians 7:15, ESV)

Reflection: How can you offer support and compassion to someone in your community who is experiencing the pain of divorce? What steps can you take to ensure they feel loved and supported by the church?


Day 5: The Public Nature of Marriage Covenants
Marriage is a public covenant made before God and witnesses, not a private agreement. This public aspect underscores the seriousness and accountability inherent in the marriage vows, highlighting the communal and divine dimensions of the marital relationship. It is essential to recognize the significance of this public commitment, ensuring that marriage is honored and upheld within the community as a sacred covenant. [21:42]

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, ESV)

Reflection: How can you honor the public nature of your marriage covenant in your daily life? What steps can you take to ensure your marriage reflects the seriousness and accountability of this sacred commitment?

Quotes


I think that what Dr. Sproul the elder wisely communicated is that rightly understood, relationships progress either to break up or to union. So that even if you're young, dating is moving you in the direction of marriage. It's not an evangelism technique. It's moving you in the direction of marriage, and the scripture is unambiguous that it forbids us to marry outside the faith. [00:01:07]

The biblical principle is that we are always to obey those who are in authority over us unless that authority commands us to do something God forbids or forbids us from doing something God commands. You have a problem where the husband says to the wife, "You submit to me and I don't want you going to Wednesday night prayer meeting at the church." [00:03:19]

The church is a family to families and being a court of appeals. It is appropriate for wives to have the protection in their calling to submit to their husbands of being able to appeal to the elders, but the elders also have an obligation to not allow themselves to be bogged down in frivolous matters. [00:05:01]

There's a lot of controversy about that. A lot of churches won't allow men who have been divorced to hold the office of elder, saying that they have violated that qualification because they've had, if they were divorced and remarried. Well, I would also apply to somebody who was a widower and remarried because they've had two wives. [00:11:26]

One of the things that's, I think, very destructive in the church are those churches and people within the church who prohibit divorce on any grounds whatsoever because that just completely denies the clear and unambiguous accepted clause that Jesus gave in the Gospel of Matthew. [00:14:14]

Jesus makes it very clear that Moses, because of the hardness of their heart, gave them the right for divorce on the basis of the unclean thing which is not specifically adultery but it's unclean. And so the whole debate among the Jewish rabbis was what constitutes the unclean thing. [00:14:49]

Marriage is a covenant, and a covenant relationship involves making promises, and not making them in the back seat of a car. They're made with public witnesses. Now in the traditional wedding ceremony, most of the traditional marriage ceremonies start off something like this: dearly beloved, we're gathered here today in the presence of God and of these witnesses. [00:20:13]

What happens in that occasion that is public that makes it more than just a piece of paper is that I have made a commitment to that woman out loud in front of every authority structure of my life, in front of my family, in front of her family, in front of the church, in front of the civil magistrate, and in front of my friends. [00:20:54]

Paul says we are to wash them with the water of the word, that there's nothing more practical with your wife or with your children or with yourself that when you're confronted face to face with sin to look at what the Bible says. [00:23:37]

The practice of family worship, you know, we call it family worship on purpose. We don't call it devotions because devotion sounds like it's some obligation thing you do to earn God's favor. What we're doing is as a family as we're gathering together to worship and we're looking at God's word. [00:26:29]

The responsibility of parents to teach their kids the things of God is deeply rooted in the scriptures. One smaller thing to add to that, when I teach on homeschooling I make the point that the reason God wants you to homeschool is to make sure the lesson gets learned by you. [00:27:59]

The goal is for you to become like Jesus, and it may be that whatever it takes for you is living in the house with that man, and you need to be ready and we are already when we get converted. When we get converted we get down on our face and we say to Jesus without any horns, whatever you want, I'll go there. [00:32:47]

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