Becoming Who God Desires: A Journey of Character

 

Summary

In our journey through life, we often find ourselves caught up in the pursuit of our own stories, striving to achieve the narrative we desire. However, what truly matters is not whether we get the story we want, but whether God gets the person He desires us to become. Our stories, with all their twists and turns, are tools in God's hands to shape us into the individuals He envisions. This perspective shift is crucial as we navigate the complexities of life.

Today, I had the pleasure of speaking with Ben Pilgreen, a dear friend and author, whose insights align closely with this theme. Ben shared his personal journey of realizing that his focus on external achievements and appearances often overshadowed the importance of internal character development. He emphasized the concept of "career trajectory versus character trajectory," urging us to prioritize who we are becoming over what we are achieving.

Ben introduced a powerful framework: "Who is greater than why is greater than how is greater than what." This formula underscores the significance of our character, motivations, and methods over mere accomplishments. It's a reminder that while what we do matters, it is not the most important aspect of our lives. Our true impact comes from the person we are and the intentions behind our actions.

We also discussed the importance of self-awareness and God-awareness. By inviting God to search our hearts and reveal our true selves, we can align our lives with His vision. Ben advocates for creating a "wisdom table," a personal board of directors composed of individuals who know God, know us, and are committed to speaking truth into our lives. This support system helps us navigate life's challenges and stay true to our calling.

Ultimately, the invitation is to allow God to bring out what is inside us and to fill us with what is worthy of being brought out. As we focus on becoming the right kind of person, we naturally align with God's purposes and make a meaningful impact in the world.

Key Takeaways:

- Our stories are not about achieving our desired outcomes but about becoming the person God wants us to be. This shift in perspective allows us to embrace the unexpected and find God in the reality of our lives. [02:06]

- The pursuit of external success can overshadow the importance of internal character development. Prioritizing who we are becoming over what we are achieving leads to a more fulfilling and impactful life. [03:48]

- The formula "Who is greater than why is greater than how is greater than what" emphasizes the significance of character, motivation, and methods over mere accomplishments. Our true impact comes from the person we are and the intentions behind our actions. [05:17]

- Self-awareness and God-awareness are crucial for aligning our lives with God's vision. By inviting God to search our hearts, we can gain insight into our true selves and live authentically. [08:15]

- Creating a "wisdom table" of trusted advisors helps us navigate life's challenges and stay true to our calling. This support system provides guidance and accountability, ensuring we remain aligned with God's purposes. [10:18]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:01] - The Importance of God's Perspective
[01:18] - Introduction to Ben Pilgreen
[01:45] - Embracing the Unexpected
[02:21] - Core Notion of the Book
[03:05] - Career vs. Character Trajectory
[04:05] - The Formula for Life
[05:03] - Who, Why, How, What
[06:14] - Bringing Out What's Inside
[07:11] - True Goodness
[08:00] - Self and God Awareness
[09:01] - Wisdom Table Concept
[10:18] - Implementing the Wisdom Table
[11:28] - Walking with the Wise
[12:22] - Community and Connection

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV) - "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
2. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) - "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."
3. Matthew 12:35 (NIV) - "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him."

Observation Questions:
1. What does Ben Pilgreen mean by "career trajectory versus character trajectory," and how does this concept relate to the sermon’s main theme? [03:33]
2. How does the formula "Who is greater than why is greater than how is greater than what" help us understand the priorities in our lives according to the sermon? [05:03]
3. What is the significance of creating a "wisdom table," and how does it function in one's spiritual journey? [08:47]
4. How does the sermon illustrate the importance of self-awareness and God-awareness in aligning our lives with God's vision? [08:15]

Interpretation Questions:
1. How might the pursuit of external success overshadow the development of internal character, and what are the potential consequences of this imbalance? [03:48]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that our true impact comes from the person we are and the intentions behind our actions? How does this align with the biblical passages? [05:30]
3. How does the concept of a "wisdom table" reflect the biblical principle found in Proverbs 13:20, and why is it important for spiritual growth? [10:18]
4. What role does self-awareness play in preventing moral failures, as discussed in the sermon, and how can Psalm 139:23-24 guide us in this process? [06:14]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current life pursuits. Are you more focused on career trajectory or character trajectory? What changes might you need to make to prioritize character development? [03:33]
2. Consider the formula "Who is greater than why is greater than how is greater than what." How can you apply this framework to a specific decision or challenge you are currently facing? [05:03]
3. Identify individuals who could be part of your "wisdom table." How can you approach them to seek their guidance and accountability in your spiritual journey? [10:18]
4. How can you invite God to search your heart and reveal areas that need transformation, as suggested in Psalm 139:23-24? What practical steps can you take to align your life with God's vision? [08:15]
5. Think of a recent situation where your external success was prioritized over internal character. How could you have approached it differently to reflect the sermon’s teachings? [03:48]
6. How can you cultivate self-awareness and God-awareness in your daily routine to ensure your actions align with your values and God's purposes? [08:15]
7. Reflect on a time when you experienced the impact of walking with wise individuals. How did it influence your decisions and spiritual growth, and how can you seek similar relationships moving forward? [11:28]

Devotional

Day 1: Embrace God's Story for Your Life
Our lives are often filled with the pursuit of personal goals and dreams, but the true essence of our journey is not about achieving our desired outcomes. Instead, it is about becoming the person God wants us to be. This shift in perspective allows us to embrace the unexpected and find God in the reality of our lives. When we focus on aligning our lives with God's vision, we open ourselves to transformation and growth that transcends our personal ambitions. By surrendering our stories to God, we allow Him to shape us into the individuals He envisions, using every twist and turn as a tool for our development. [02:06]

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to let go of your own plans and trust in God's story for you?


Day 2: Prioritize Character Over Success
In a world that often values external achievements and appearances, it is easy to lose sight of the importance of internal character development. The pursuit of success can overshadow the deeper work of becoming who we are meant to be. By prioritizing our character trajectory over our career trajectory, we can lead more fulfilling and impactful lives. This means focusing on who we are becoming rather than what we are achieving. When we align our lives with God's purposes, we find true fulfillment and make a meaningful impact in the world. [03:48]

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways have you prioritized external success over internal growth, and how can you begin to shift your focus today?


Day 3: The Power of Intentions and Character
The formula "Who is greater than why is greater than how is greater than what" emphasizes the significance of character, motivation, and methods over mere accomplishments. While what we do matters, it is not the most important aspect of our lives. Our true impact comes from the person we are and the intentions behind our actions. By focusing on our character and motivations, we can ensure that our actions align with our values and God's purposes. This approach allows us to make a lasting impact that goes beyond mere achievements. [05:17]

"Let your heart therefore be wholly true to the Lord our God, walking in his statutes and keeping his commandments, as at this day." (1 Kings 8:61, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a recent decision you made. What were your motivations, and how did they align with your character and values?


Day 4: Cultivate Self-Awareness and God-Awareness
Self-awareness and God-awareness are crucial for aligning our lives with God's vision. By inviting God to search our hearts, we can gain insight into our true selves and live authentically. This process involves being open to God's guidance and allowing Him to reveal areas of our lives that need transformation. As we grow in self-awareness and God-awareness, we become more attuned to His purposes and can live in a way that reflects His love and truth. [08:15]

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Psalm 139:23-24, ESV)

Reflection: Spend time in prayer today, asking God to reveal any areas of your life that need transformation. How can you become more aware of His presence in your daily life?


Day 5: Build a Supportive Wisdom Table
Creating a "wisdom table" of trusted advisors helps us navigate life's challenges and stay true to our calling. This support system provides guidance and accountability, ensuring we remain aligned with God's purposes. By surrounding ourselves with individuals who know God, know us, and are committed to speaking truth into our lives, we can gain valuable insights and encouragement. This community of support helps us stay grounded and focused on our spiritual journey, allowing us to grow and thrive in our faith. [10:18]

"Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." (Proverbs 11:14, ESV)

Reflection: Who are the people in your life that you trust to speak truth into your journey? How can you intentionally cultivate a "wisdom table" to support your spiritual growth?

Quotes


atrophies from G's perspective what matters deeply is not so much do I get the story that I want but does does God get the me that he wants and how does he use my story what ever my story might be in order to turn me into the person that he wants me to be [00:00:48]

no matter what age we are we're always thinking about how can I get promoted how do I get the raise how do I get the next company if you're in the ministry world how do I get the bigger church and um it's not that that's bad but what if we gave more attention to hey where is my character headed [00:03:36]

I think my passion for that is if I become the right kind of person chances are I'll do the right kind of thing if I do not become the right kind of person does it even matter what I do yeah and so I'm asking the question one of my favorite questions to ask people and myself included is what is present in your life that could hijack God's vision for your future [00:03:56]

who is greater than what but also why is greater than what and how is greater than what so who you become matters more than what you do why like your ambition or motivation you're doing matters more than what you do how you go about doing what you do matters more than what you do and oh by the way what you do really really matters but it's it's not first [00:05:12]

you can get the what to look pretty impressive but if the who or the why or the how is wrong it can actually do more damage than good yeah and so the only person I can bring to my parenting is who Ben Pilgreen actually is not who I want my kids to think I am the only person I can bring to pastoring Epic Church in San Francisco is the person I can you know so it's like man we give so much attention to polishing the outside that the inside often at atrophies [00:05:36]

Jesus said that you can only you know bring it out you can only bring out what you are the good man brings good out of the inside the evil man bring he brings we're all bringing it out yeah um whatever whatever's in US is you know is one of my favorite illustrations is you know I love a good burrito around the Bay Area and you know as you're going down the line you you get to choose what goes in the burrito uh but but once you consume it you're no longer in control [00:06:18]

I think that's challenging I mean you know um one of the even tricky things about motives is that it can't be seen by other people at least initially and we aren't always aware of it so it's I think some of that is can I open myself up that that end of Psalm 139 like God search my heart show me sh help me know about me what you know about me [00:08:02]

I really Advocate this concept of creating a wisdom table in our lives this idea like a personal board of directors so I need people who know God and know me want God's best for me but are going to be willing to tell me the truth and so you know no organization or company could ever get by without a board of director and yet our lives are so much more important and many of us have no close advisors helping us um be guided through this life to to know ourselves [00:08:40]

I'm always looking at my humility and confidence I think one without the other uh means that I'm off you know humility without confidence often looks like humiliation uh confidence without humility often uh is about arrogance and so I'm asking the question like on my best most accomplished days can I stay humble and on those hard days maybe like the morning that you've had like can I stay confident [00:09:33]

this is what's resonating the deepest with everyone who's read the book on the front end uh Pat Ginger wrote the forward this is what captured his attention and so I it came up in a message we were doing a series on Proverbs in 2017 and the and and since then it's become part of the vernacular here in our church but also across Silicon Valley you'll I'm hearing it in interviews people are giving that I'm not involved in and it's not a church conversation [00:10:29]

knowing what wisdom is um I I used the story of RI rabam and um he had access to wisdom these advisers who had advised his fathers he dismissed them from his wisdom table and he put the friends he had grown up with there which yeah I'm sure I'm sure the friends I go up grew up with are super fun I'm not sure they should be advising My Life um and just in case just in case anybody has not memorized was it Proverbs 2017 2013 I think 2013 what does it say yeah oh 1320 maybe it walk with the wise and become wise for companion fo suffers harm [00:10:55]

the invitation is uh to ask God to bring out what is inside you and ask God to put in inside you that which is worthy of bringing out and I will think some about my wisdom table today and who do I want to sit around that and um Ben I'm very grateful to you um man deep deep blessings on uh you and your family and uh your church and your work which are precious to me and n and a lot of folks [00:11:48]

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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?