Becoming the Right Person: Love Like Jesus

 

Summary

### Summary

Tonight, we gathered for the final high school student night of the school year at Cross Life Church. We kicked off the evening with some fun and games, including a lively round of "Baby Bronco Backpack," which got everyone moving and laughing. After the games, we transitioned into a time of worship, setting our hearts and minds on Jesus. We emphasized the importance of eliminating distractions to focus wholly on God.

The core of our evening was the conclusion of our "Relationship Goals" series. We discussed the common misconception that finding the right person will solve all our problems. Instead, we emphasized the importance of becoming the right person. We explored Ephesians 4:31-32 and Ephesians 5:1-2, which provide a clear blueprint for the kind of person God wants us to be—kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, following the example of Christ.

We highlighted that becoming the right person involves leaving behind old attitudes and behaviors, such as bitterness, rage, and anger, and replacing them with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. We also discussed how Jesus is the perfect example of love and how God is pleased when we love like Jesus. This love is not just for romantic relationships but extends to all our interactions.

Finally, we talked about the importance of fully surrendering our lives to Jesus and choosing to love like Him in every situation. We encouraged everyone to make a daily commitment to live for God, letting go of selfish desires and embracing the love and righteousness of Christ.

### Key Takeaways

1. Becoming the Right Person: It's not about finding the right person to fix your life; it's about becoming the right person yourself. This involves leaving behind old attitudes and behaviors like bitterness, rage, and anger, and replacing them with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. This transformation is essential for any healthy relationship. [42:48]

2. Jesus as the Perfect Example: Jesus is the ultimate model of love. His life, death, and resurrection show us what it means to love selflessly and sacrificially. By following His example, we can learn to love others in a way that pleases God and strengthens our relationships. [46:50]

3. Pleasing God with Our Lives: When we live according to God's principles, our lives become a pleasing aroma to Him. This means making choices that honor God, even in our relationships. It's about asking ourselves whether our actions are pleasing to God or merely fulfilling our own desires. [49:22]

4. Surrendering to Jesus: True love and transformation begin with surrendering our lives to Jesus. This means acknowledging that we can't do it on our own and fully relying on Him. A life surrendered to Jesus is marked by a daily commitment to follow Him and let go of sinful behaviors. [53:58]

5. Choosing to Love Like Jesus: Every day, we have the choice to love like Jesus. This involves wrapping ourselves in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Such love is the super glue of relationships, binding us together in perfect harmony and reflecting the love of Christ. [01:02:16]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[05:41] - Baby Bronco Backpack Game
[12:20] - Introduction and Worship
[30:45] - Awkward Breakup Lines
[35:07] - Relationship Goals: Finding vs. Becoming the Right Person
[40:55] - Ephesians 4:31-32 and 5:1-2
[42:48] - Leaving Old Attitudes Behind
[46:50] - Jesus as the Perfect Example
[49:22] - Pleasing God with Our Lives
[53:58] - Surrendering to Jesus
[01:02:16] - Choosing to Love Like Jesus
[01:07:41] - Recap and Final Thoughts
[01:24:21] - Closing Prayer and Response
[01:34:13] - Announcements and Summer Plans
[01:35:08] - Impossible Shot Contest

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
- Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV): "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
- Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIV): "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

#### Observation Questions
1. What are the old attitudes and behaviors that Paul instructs us to leave behind in Ephesians 4:31?
2. According to Ephesians 4:32, what qualities should replace bitterness, rage, and anger?
3. How does Ephesians 5:1-2 describe the way we should live our lives?
4. In the sermon, what game did the group play to kick off the evening? ([05:41])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize the need to get rid of bitterness, rage, and anger in Ephesians 4:31? How might these attitudes affect our relationships?
2. How does the example of Jesus' love in Ephesians 5:2 serve as a model for our interactions with others? ([46:50])
3. What does it mean for our lives to be a "pleasing aroma" to God, as mentioned in Ephesians 5:2? ([47:54])
4. How does fully surrendering to Jesus transform our ability to love others? ([53:58])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current relationships. Are there any old attitudes or behaviors (bitterness, rage, anger) that you need to let go of? How can you start replacing them with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness? ([42:48])
2. Jesus is described as the perfect example of love. How can you imitate His love in your daily interactions, not just in romantic relationships but in all your relationships? ([46:50])
3. Think about a recent decision or action. Was it more about pleasing God or fulfilling your own desires? How can you shift your focus to make choices that are a "pleasing aroma" to God? ([49:22])
4. Surrendering to Jesus is a daily commitment. What are some practical steps you can take to ensure you are fully surrendering your life to Him each day? ([53:58])
5. Identify a specific situation where you can choose to love like Jesus this week. What actions will you take to show tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience? ([01:02:16])
6. How can you eliminate distractions in your life to focus more wholly on God during your times of worship and prayer? ([13:21])
7. Reflect on a time when you held onto bitterness or anger. How did it affect your relationship with that person? What steps can you take to seek forgiveness and restore that relationship? ([42:48])

Devotional

### Day 1: Becoming the Right Person
To build healthy relationships, focus on personal transformation.

Becoming the right person is not about finding someone else to fix your life; it's about transforming yourself. This involves leaving behind old attitudes and behaviors like bitterness, rage, and anger, and replacing them with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. This transformation is essential for any healthy relationship. The Bible provides a clear blueprint for this change in Ephesians 4:31-32, which encourages us to put away negative emotions and embrace positive, Christ-like qualities.

By focusing on becoming the right person, you set the foundation for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. This transformation is not just for romantic relationships but extends to all interactions, making you a better friend, family member, and community member. Remember, the goal is to reflect the love and character of Christ in all that you do. [42:48]

Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV): "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Reflection: Think of one negative attitude or behavior you need to leave behind. How can you replace it with kindness, tenderheartedness, or forgiveness today?


### Day 2: Jesus as the Perfect Example
Jesus' life shows us how to love selflessly and sacrificially.

Jesus is the ultimate model of love. His life, death, and resurrection show us what it means to love selflessly and sacrificially. By following His example, we can learn to love others in a way that pleases God and strengthens our relationships. Jesus' love was not limited to those who loved Him back; He loved even those who betrayed and crucified Him. This kind of love is radical and transformative.

When we strive to love like Jesus, we are called to go beyond our comfort zones and love others unconditionally. This means showing grace, mercy, and forgiveness, even when it is difficult. By doing so, we reflect the love of Christ and become a living testimony of His grace. [46:50]

1 John 3:16 (ESV): "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers."

Reflection: Think of a relationship where you find it hard to love selflessly. How can you show Christ-like love in that relationship today?


### Day 3: Pleasing God with Our Lives
Live in a way that honors God and reflects His love.

When we live according to God's principles, our lives become a pleasing aroma to Him. This means making choices that honor God, even in our relationships. It's about asking ourselves whether our actions are pleasing to God or merely fulfilling our own desires. Living to please God involves a daily commitment to align our actions, thoughts, and words with His will.

This kind of living requires constant self-examination and a willingness to change. It means prioritizing God's desires over our own and seeking to glorify Him in all that we do. By doing so, we not only please God but also become a positive influence on those around us. [49:22]

2 Corinthians 2:15 (ESV): "For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing."

Reflection: Reflect on your daily actions. Are there any areas where you are seeking to please yourself rather than God? How can you realign those actions to honor Him?


### Day 4: Surrendering to Jesus
True transformation begins with fully surrendering your life to Jesus.

True love and transformation begin with surrendering our lives to Jesus. This means acknowledging that we can't do it on our own and fully relying on Him. A life surrendered to Jesus is marked by a daily commitment to follow Him and let go of sinful behaviors. Surrendering to Jesus involves trusting Him with every aspect of our lives and allowing Him to guide our decisions and actions.

This surrender is not a one-time event but a continuous process. It requires humility and a willingness to let go of control. By surrendering to Jesus, we open ourselves up to His transformative power and allow Him to work in and through us. [53:58]

Galatians 2:20 (ESV): "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you find yourself holding back from surrendering to Jesus? What would surrendering this area to Him actually look like in terms of daily habits?


### Day 5: Choosing to Love Like Jesus
Every day, choose to embody Christ's love in your interactions.

Every day, we have the choice to love like Jesus. This involves wrapping ourselves in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Such love is the super glue of relationships, binding us together in perfect harmony and reflecting the love of Christ. Choosing to love like Jesus means being intentional about our actions and attitudes towards others.

This kind of love is not always easy, but it is powerful. It can heal wounds, mend broken relationships, and bring people closer to God. By choosing to love like Jesus, we become His hands and feet in the world, spreading His love and grace to everyone we encounter. [01:02:16]

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Reflection: Think of a specific way you can show tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, or patience to someone today. How can you make this a daily habit?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "We are unashamedly in love with Jesus here at Cross Life. And we ultimately, our goal of doing this is that you would also fall madly in love with him and pursue him with your life. So if you have questions about that throughout the night, man, grab an adult in the room. We would love to talk to you about who Jesus is and what he could do for you." [12:20] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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2. "Let this time be a time where you just get to focus completely on God and who he is and what he's done for you. All right? Let me pray for us, and then we'll stand and worship together." [13:21] (9 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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3. "When we allow God to begin shaping you into the person he's created you to be, you'll find more and more that the things that please God are ultimately the same thing that please you." [51:56] (8 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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4. "You can't truly love others with Jesus-like love until you embrace his love in your own life. What does it look like to surrender your life to Jesus? It means simply choosing to follow Jesus instead of going your own way." [54:59] (24 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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5. "When we live for Christ, when we live for Jesus, when we live for God in a way, like, picture the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies times 800 million in, like, the satisfaction, like, scale, right? And that's the aroma to God. Like, he is so pleased by us living like him." [49:22] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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### Quotes for Members

1. "Becoming the right person means leaving old attitudes and behaviors behind. If you want to be the right person in a relationship, if you want to become the right person that God has created you to be, it requires eliminating the old junk, the old desires, the old attitudes, and the old behaviors." [42:48] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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2. "Paul tells us in chapter 5 to imitate God. Like, I don't know about you guys, but my daily life, I don't feel like I'm imitating God all the time. I mean, I know I'm supposed to. Like, I know I'm supposed to be Christ-like. But am I truly doing it in my daily grind?" [45:42] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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3. "When we're in a relationship, any type of relationship, whether it's romantic or not, we're challenged to love by following Jesus' example. The way that Jesus loved is the perfect way for us to love others. Whether it be in a romantic relationship, a friendship, a family relationship, it doesn't matter. That is how we need to be loving people." [46:50] (19 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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4. "In your relationships, there's going to be a point where you have to ask yourself very simply, do I want to please God or do I want to please my own desires? Like, am I in this for God and trying to be a pleasing, a pleasant aroma, a pleasing aroma to God, or am I doing this simply because it's something I want to do?" [49:22] (23 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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5. "Choosing to love like Jesus works best before the dating relationship begins. Loving like Jesus should be a part of who you are, not something you do inside of a relationship. So you should be loving like Jesus long before you get into a relationship." [01:05:56] (28 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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