Becoming a Person of Character Through Divine Guidance
Summary
In our journey of faith, what truly matters is not the external achievements or possessions but the person we become. Our character, the essence of who we are, is what God values most. This transformation into a person of love, honesty, joy, and humility is a challenging endeavor, one that we cannot undertake alone. We need divine assistance and guidance, which is why today, we delve into the virtues that shape our character with insights from Roger Brotherton, a clinical psychologist and expert in character and spiritual life.
Roger introduces us to the "Virtues in Action" framework, which identifies 24 character strengths such as gratitude, curiosity, and perseverance. However, the sheer number of virtues can feel overwhelming, especially when life is already filled with responsibilities and challenges. The key is not to view these virtues as an exhaustive to-do list but as a reflection of who we are becoming. The biblical contrast between the "works of the flesh" and the "fruit of the Spirit" offers a profound insight. The works of the flesh are plural, representing fragmented actions driven by immediate desires. In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is singular, symbolizing a harmonious unity of virtues that naturally emerge when we live by the Spirit.
This perspective shifts our focus from a fragmented to-do list to a unified "to-be" list. It encourages us to center our lives around God, allowing His Spirit to cultivate virtues within us organically. Neuroscience supports this idea, suggesting that our brains seek harmony and balance, much like the Spirit's work in our lives. Through practices like centering prayer, we can quiet the chaos within and align ourselves with God's presence, allowing virtues to develop naturally.
Moreover, the development of character often occurs subtly and is recognized in hindsight. As we focus on being present with God, virtues like humility and kindness emerge as byproducts of a life centered on Him. Paul’s exhortation in Philippians to think about noble and pure things and to imitate those who embody these virtues further emphasizes the importance of community and mentorship in our spiritual growth.
Key Takeaways:
- The essence of our spiritual journey is not about external achievements but about becoming a person of character, embodying love, honesty, joy, and humility. This transformation requires divine assistance and a focus on who we are becoming rather than what we are doing. [01:27]
- The "Virtues in Action" framework identifies 24 character strengths, but these should not be seen as an overwhelming to-do list. Instead, they reflect the person we are becoming, emphasizing the importance of focusing on our "to-be" list rather than a fragmented to-do list. [04:07]
- The biblical contrast between the "works of the flesh" and the "fruit of the Spirit" highlights the difference between fragmented actions driven by immediate desires and the harmonious unity of virtues that emerge when we live by the Spirit. [06:39]
- Neuroscience supports the idea that our brains seek harmony and balance, much like the Spirit's work in our lives. Practices like centering prayer help us align with God's presence, allowing virtues to develop naturally and organically. [08:15]
- Paul’s exhortation in Philippians to think about noble and pure things and to imitate those who embody these virtues emphasizes the importance of community and mentorship in our spiritual growth. Observing and learning from others can guide us in developing our character. [11:25]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:27] - What Matters Most
[02:10] - Introduction to Virtues in Action
[02:45] - Overwhelmed by Virtues
[03:12] - Works of the Flesh vs. Fruit of the Spirit
[04:07] - Shifting Focus to "To-Be" List
[05:19] - The Unity of the Fruit of the Spirit
[06:39] - Harmony in Character Development
[07:07] - Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices
[08:15] - Centering Prayer and Inner Peace
[09:13] - Organic Growth of Virtues
[10:26] - Practicing Presence with God
[11:13] - Imitating Virtuous Role Models
[12:20] - Reflecting on Role Models
[12:52] - Closing Thoughts
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
1. Galatians 5:19-23 (Works of the Flesh vs. Fruit of the Spirit)
2. Philippians 4:8-9 (Think about Noble and Pure Things)
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Observation Questions:
1. What are the differences between the "works of the flesh" and the "fruit of the Spirit" as described in Galatians 5:19-23? How does the sermon explain these differences? [06:39]
2. According to the sermon, how does the "Virtues in Action" framework relate to our spiritual journey? [02:10]
3. What role does community and mentorship play in developing virtues, according to Philippians 4:8-9 and the sermon? [11:25]
4. How does the sermon describe the process of virtues developing naturally through practices like centering prayer? [08:15]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the concept of a "to-be" list, as opposed to a "to-do" list, change one's approach to spiritual growth? What might this look like in practical terms? [07:07]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that the development of character is often subtle and recognized in hindsight? How does this align with the biblical passages discussed? [09:13]
3. How does the sermon connect the idea of harmony in neuroscience with the spiritual concept of living by the Spirit? What implications does this have for personal spiritual practices? [08:15]
4. How does the sermon suggest that observing and imitating virtuous role models can aid in spiritual growth? What might be some challenges in doing this? [11:25]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current "to-do" list. How can you shift your focus to a "to-be" list that aligns with the virtues discussed in the sermon? What specific changes can you make this week? [07:07]
2. Identify one virtue from the "Virtues in Action" framework that you feel is already a part of who you are. How can you further develop this virtue in your daily life? [02:10]
3. Think of a time when you recognized a virtue in yourself only in hindsight. How can you become more aware of these moments as they happen? [09:13]
4. Consider a person in your life who embodies the fruit of the Spirit. What specific actions or attitudes do they exhibit that you can imitate? How will you implement this in your interactions this week? [11:25]
5. How can you incorporate centering prayer or another spiritual practice into your routine to help cultivate virtues naturally? What steps will you take to begin this practice? [08:15]
6. Reflect on the biblical contrast between the "works of the flesh" and the "fruit of the Spirit." How can you identify and address any "works of the flesh" in your life? What support do you need to focus on the "fruit of the Spirit"? [06:39]
7. How can you create a supportive community or find a mentor to help you grow in your spiritual journey? What specific actions will you take to build these relationships? [11:25]
Devotional
Day 1: Becoming a Person of Character
In our spiritual journey, the focus should not be on external achievements or possessions but on the person we are becoming. God values our character, which is the essence of who we are. This transformation into a person of love, honesty, joy, and humility is a challenging endeavor that requires divine assistance. It is not about what we are doing but who we are becoming. By centering our lives around God, we allow His Spirit to cultivate these virtues within us organically. This shift in focus from doing to being is essential for our spiritual growth. [01:27]
"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love." (2 Peter 1:5-7 ESV)
Reflection: What specific character trait do you feel God is calling you to develop more deeply in your life right now? How can you invite His guidance in this process today?
Day 2: Embracing the "To-Be" List
The "Virtues in Action" framework identifies 24 character strengths, but these should not be seen as an overwhelming to-do list. Instead, they reflect the person we are becoming. The key is to focus on our "to-be" list rather than a fragmented to-do list. This perspective encourages us to center our lives around God, allowing His Spirit to cultivate virtues within us organically. By doing so, we shift our focus from fragmented actions to a harmonious unity of virtues that naturally emerge when we live by the Spirit. [04:07]
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2 ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you feel overwhelmed by tasks and responsibilities? How can you shift your focus from doing to being in that area today?
Day 3: Living by the Spirit
The biblical contrast between the "works of the flesh" and the "fruit of the Spirit" highlights the difference between fragmented actions driven by immediate desires and the harmonious unity of virtues that emerge when we live by the Spirit. The works of the flesh are plural, representing fragmented actions, while the fruit of the Spirit is singular, symbolizing a harmonious unity of virtues. This perspective encourages us to live by the Spirit, allowing His virtues to develop naturally and organically within us. [06:39]
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do." (Galatians 5:16-17 ESV)
Reflection: In what ways do you find yourself driven by immediate desires rather than the Spirit? How can you invite the Spirit to guide your actions today?
Day 4: Aligning with God's Presence
Neuroscience supports the idea that our brains seek harmony and balance, much like the Spirit's work in our lives. Practices like centering prayer help us align with God's presence, allowing virtues to develop naturally and organically. By quieting the chaos within and aligning ourselves with God's presence, we create space for His Spirit to cultivate virtues within us. This alignment with God is essential for our spiritual growth and the development of our character. [08:15]
"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" (Psalm 46:10 ESV)
Reflection: What practice can you incorporate into your daily routine to help you align more closely with God's presence? How can this practice help you cultivate virtues in your life?
Day 5: The Role of Community and Mentorship
Paul’s exhortation in Philippians to think about noble and pure things and to imitate those who embody these virtues emphasizes the importance of community and mentorship in our spiritual growth. Observing and learning from others can guide us in developing our character. By surrounding ourselves with virtuous role models and engaging in a supportive community, we can be inspired and encouraged in our journey of becoming a person of character. [11:25]
"Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith." (Hebrews 13:7 ESV)
Reflection: Who in your life embodies the virtues you aspire to develop? How can you learn from their example and incorporate their influence into your own spiritual journey today?
Quotes
"these days we're talking about what matters most in the words of a very wise man the main thing God gets out of your life it's not what you do it's not how you look it's not what you own it's the person you become and that's mostly my character what kind of a heart am I someone who genuinely loves and is deeply honest and brings joy to people around me and lives with humility and of course that's really hard work so we can't do that on our own so we need help with it and we're talking about that today with Roger Brotherton a clinical psychologist uh expert in lots and lots of fields deep thinker about character and virtue and spiritual life and so so Roger thanks for coming back on" [00:01:17]
"there's lots of different lists that folks have made of Virtues in the past uh you work particularly with one framework virtues in action and they will list 24 different virtues which will include things like gratitude curiosity creativity humility perseverance love kindness compassion and there's other lists that have been generated over the years uh those 24 character strengths in turn can be uh lumped under six different virtues I can imagine somebody listening to this and thinking I'm exhausted like I already got too much stuff to do today I got a job uh I got relationships to manage I got money to worry about I got bills to pay I got chores to do and now you're gonna tell me there's like 24 different character items I got to feel guilty about uh before I could feel okay about myself" [00:02:06]
"and you were talking about a distinction between in the Bible biblical writers would sometimes talk about works you know um Good Deeds or what are thought to be good deeds and that often will try to do often will try to generate enough willpower to do them on our own and we will just face that problem of I know the good stuff I ought to be doing but it's overwhelming I'm tempted to do other stuff isn't there a better way uh helpless with that one for people that feel overwhelmed or exhausted right now how how should we be thinking about this yeah you know you know I get this one a lot John I some people will look at this as a list of 24 strengths and I go oh man 24 new things for my to-do list that's the last thing I need exactly and that that's not how to read that list" [00:03:17]
"so firstly let me just it's not you must build these things as we've discussed before it's kind of which of these are you already and how do you develop that further but just to to identify more closely I I guess the the section of scripture that really speaks to me on this is when Paul contrasts The Works of the Flesh and the Fruit of the Spirit you know in that passage in in uh Philippines isn't it um and um but it's Galatians actually just otherwise sorry do you know do you know why I always get these there's a past this passage in Galatians of passage in Philippians but I always get mixed up and the reason I get them mixed up is because basically there's the passage in Philippians that's about thinking about good things uh highly on mine and good things that all the beautiful things he lists there and then the passing Galatians that sort of lists the fruit of the spirit and I I always get those two lists mixed up so yeah I I'm not perfect John sorry about that well and clearly I have work to do on humility so we can just we can just keep going but great great great work on correction that's fine that's good so um so that passage in Galatians" [00:04:02]
"um where it contrasts works as a profession you get all these terrible things listed that um I mean it's a horrible list and it goes on for ages and um we don't want any of those things in our life but they probably make quite a good episode of Game of Thrones or something like that you know that's what you want there you know that's what it would be um but what always strikes me about those two lists what's the flesh and then fruit of the spirit is firstly that works of the flesh is plural it has this idea that these are things we're doing so when I betray people when I jockey for position when I envy other people when I get lustful there's always this sense of I'm trying to do something to get something straight away it has a very sort of short-term element to it and if you really think about how life works if I were to live by those momentary appetites all the time I would become completely fragmented as a person pursuing this now that then the other thing there um without really think about what the whole thing that holds it all together what's fascinating when we get to fruit of the spirit is it's not fruits of the spirit it's fruit of the spirit it's this single idea that if you have the spirit then peace kindness self-control love all these things come together in a Unity a Harmony something that holds it all together in one place" [00:05:23]
"and so when I think about um character when I think about character strengths I'm not thinking about here's a whole pile of fragmentary things to an already overstuffed strangely motivated to-do list I I'm actually really thinking about what's your to be list who who would you become if you I'm sorry what's your to be list yeah forget your to-do list yeah we all have those who are you supposed to be becoming um at the core of your soul what is there um and and so the fruit of the spirit is this sort of ideas we follow the spirit we get that's the unity and all these things are carried in that that following in in that Pursuit um and I just find that a really really beautiful way to think about and it's also sort of backed up by a lot of modern Neuroscience as well so if you listen to sort of um uh sort of interpersonal developmental neuropsychology one of the things that we'll talk about a lot is that the brain is a social organ that constantly seeks harmony it wants Harmony between short-term and long-term it wants Harmony between emotion and um reason you know that the the brain is basically seeking to balance all these things out and it functions beautifully when it all works in Harmony and so they given that we were talking about spiritual practices last time one of my spiritual practicing is that notion of centering prayer of sort of returning to God over and over and over to get as he he is my single loving place of attentiveness and when we do that what I tend to find is that this sort of wild world of my mind that often feels like a classroom of children all sort of with their hands in the air jostling for for my attention um they settle and they quiet and then suddenly something that sounded like a cacophony starts to sound just a bit more like a Harmony" [00:06:46]
"um and for me that's what where that's what all this development of character head stores don't get stuck on how do I do X Y and Z get stuck on who is the center of all of that and as we focus on him and hold that in attentiveness how how do we find all these other things develop around it just one the the thing I always find fascinating about the development of character is usually we develop the character first and we spot it afterwards I'm gonna say there was a moment of humility wait a minute I was really kind there man I didn't expect I'd be that disciplined today etc etc and I find all the time that usually most of our virtue is worthless to begin with because it just sort of comes from a inner being it just comes from a sense of Harmony and connectedness to the world and then afterwards we might label it I I love that I was reading uh uh kind of coaching on uh virtue acquisition and the person was talking about how important it is uh to name you know here I practiced um uh the character strength of prudence when I carefully planned the meal I was going to have or something and I found myself with two responses to it one it sounds like yep it's a good thing to label those things on the other hand it can feel real self-conscious and kind of look at me and I'm being so virtuous so that notion that often it starts without words and it's something that's kind of organic and like with that notion of fruit of the spirit it's not like trees have to try really hard to grow apples or peaches fruit is kind of the byproduct of the presence of life and that it brings us back to what you said before about uh really at the core I want to practice uh uh the presence being present to the presence in the present moment and that if I'm really being aware of and present to God in this moment then the food comes" [00:08:29]
"and it's such a fascinating thing isn't it and it's so lovely in in the way that that develops um I and the other thing I I think about as well is that when Paul and this one definitely is in Philippians so Philippians 4 8 when Paul lists you know here are the things to think about where there's true Noble right pure lovely honorable think about these things so he's saying firstly focus on them but the bit we don't often focus on quite as much as the next verse where he says and as you've seen these in me imitate them and clearly Paul was not shy to say listen here's me being loving here's me being kind here's me being grateful nothing to be proud of these are the works of God in Me as they are yeah but if you want to develop those things the best thing you can possibly do is ask who in my communities really wise who's really hopeful who's really grateful who's really passionate who's really forgiving who's really humble and we go let's just watch them and let's copy what they do that allows them to do that um and I think that's what he's saying is like these his own badges to wear like I'm a Cub Scout he's really proud of myself yeah these are just what what we become when we're following God and very often by accident I love that so let's do that today everybody watching this take a moment right now and think of somebody and it might be a very good friend it might be a teacher that you had uh it might be uh a dad or a mum um it might be a brother or a sister um who's somebody that you have seen the fruit love joy peace patience and so on in think about that person think about how you admire them think about how good it would be to be more that way yourself and see if you can imitate them today and ask what they might do" [00:11:02]
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