One Another | Be Kind To One Another (Ephesians 4:25-32) | John Baker

Jun 15, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: When Curiosity Fuels Kindness

Kindness begins by leaning in to truly know others, not just react to them. The world often reduces people to profiles or caricatures, but Christ calls us to see each person as an image-bearer worth understanding. Curiosity dismantles assumptions, replacing judgment with questions that honor someone’s story. It shifts our focus from defending our opinions to discovering another’s heart. Like a child asking “why?” without agenda, Christ-like curiosity creates space for grace to grow. This posture guards against bitterness and fuels compassion. [08:10]

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)

Reflection: What relationship feels strained because you’ve stopped asking questions? How might curiosity about their story soften your heart this week?

Day 2: Anger’s Dashboard Light

Anger isn’t the problem—it’s a warning that something we love feels threatened. Like a car’s check-engine light, it signals deeper issues: our need for control, fear of irrelevance, or idolizing comfort. Righteous anger defends the vulnerable, but selfish anger protects our ego. The difference lies in whether we channel heat into destruction or restoration. Jesus turned over tables for justice yet forgave those who crucified Him. Our anger becomes holy when it moves us toward people, not against them. [18:30]

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, ESV)

Reflection: What recent anger revealed a hidden love you’ve prioritized over Christ? How can you address the root, not just the spark?

Day 3: Truth-Telling Without Teeth

Kindness requires honest words, not just nice ones. Surface-level harmony often masks festering wounds. Speaking truth in love means saying “your words hurt me” instead of gossiping, or “I disagree” instead of silent resentment. Like a surgeon’s precise incision, truth removes infection to heal. But truth without tenderness becomes a weapon. Jesus balanced raw honesty with tears at Lazarus’ tomb—He named death’s sting while embodying resurrection hope. [13:10]

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, ESV)

Reflection: Where have you avoided hard conversations? What one relationship needs both your courage and compassion today?

Day 4: Bitterness’ Relational Decay

Unchecked hurt morphs into poison. Bitterness starts as a quiet refusal to forgive, then metastasizes into slander, rage, and malice. Like spoiled fruit, it rots connections from the inside out. Paul’s command to “put away” bitterness isn’t gentle advice—it’s emergency surgery. Forgiveness isn’t excusing harm but entrusting justice to Christ, who absorbed our worst on the cross. Every “they don’t deserve it” moment is a chance to remember: neither did we. [25:50]

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:31, ESV)

Reflection: What unresolved hurt have you rehearsed instead of releasing? How does Christ’s forgiveness of you redefine what others “owe” you?

Day 5: Hills Worth Dying On

Not every disagreement demands a battle. The gospel, Trinity, and Scripture’s authority are hills to die on—political opinions, worship styles, and personal preferences are not. Jesus died for unity, not uniformity. Sacred relationships fight for connection, not control. When we make secondary issues ultimate, we crucify others on hills He never asked us to defend. But when we lay down our swords, we free our hands to embrace. [32:29]

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14, ESV)

Reflection: What non-essential hill have you been defending? How can you extend both grace and truth in a divisive relationship this week?

Sermon Summary

Ephesians 4 presses the church to move from superficial to sacred relationships by putting on curious Christ like kindness. Paul first roots unity in the gospel he has unfolded, then he tells the church to walk worthy with humility, gentleness, patience, and love. The text then names what erodes kindness in real time. Unmet or unrealistic expectations turn people into “profiles or personalities,” and culture trains Christians to be keyboard warriors who dehumanize rather than discern the image of God. Curiosity breaks that cycle. Awe and wonder toward God spill into awe and wonder toward people, and that outward focus tends to bloom into kindness.

Paul’s commands in verses 25 to 32 land like a reset. The text calls Christians to put away falsehood and speak truth because they are “members one of another.” Kindness is honesty, not face level niceness. Venting that seeks an echo chamber is just baptized slander. Slander looks like the father of lies, not the Father in heaven, and Christ was crushed for that very sin, which should sober the tongue.

“Be angry and do not sin” reframes anger as a dashboard warning light. Anger reveals a threatened love, which can be holy when defending the vulnerable, or twisted when defending self rule. Curiosity asks why the anger is there, what expectation was hit, and whether the love in play is Christ oriented or me oriented. Sinful anger builds a case, assigns motives, and gives the devil a foothold. Christ like anger moves toward the person with honesty, humility, and hope and seeks restoration today. In simple terms, nip it in the bud.

The passage refuses rotten speech that tears down and grieves the Spirit. Paul traces relational decay from hidden bitterness to wrath, settled anger, clamor, slander, and finally malice. The old way must be put away, not managed. The Spirit empowered ethic is better. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Grace received becomes graciousness given. Real unity grows where pride dies, suspicion loosens, and believers assume best intent while asking curious questions. Some hills are worth dying on, like the gospel, the Trinity, the authority of Scripture, and the church’s unity. Politics, preferences, and family traditions are not.

John 1:14 shows the pattern. Jesus came full of grace and truth. Because he moved toward enemies, bore gossip, slander, bitterness, and rose to make a new people, his body can honor others, enter their world, ask good questions, refuse to judge motives, and draw near to needs. That is how the church walks worthy of its calling.

Key Takeaways

1. Curious kindness sees persons, not profiles Curiosity restores awe and wonder toward image bearers and resists the flattening of people into avatars and hot takes. By turning outward with intentional interest, the church starts to hear stories rather than fight strawmen. Curiosity does not excuse sin, but it dignifies a neighbor long enough to tell the truth in love. Kindness often grows where curiosity first took root. [08:43]
2. Kindness is honesty without slander Ephesians ties kindness to truthful speech because Christians are “members one of another.” Face level niceness that hides resentment only ferments into gossip. Venting is not a virtue when it baptizes slander and recruits an echo chamber. Honesty that aims to build up embodies the family resemblance of the Father. [13:10]
3. Treat anger as a warning light “Be angry and do not sin” invites self examination before self justification. Anger signals a threatened love, so the hard question is what love is actually in the driver’s seat. Sinful anger prosecutes a case and assumes motives, while Christ like anger seeks understanding and pursues reconciliation. Aim your passion for the person, not against the person. [18:30]
4. Put away rot, speak grace Rotten talk decays community and grieves the Spirit who sealed the church for redemption. Paul exposes the slide from bitterness to malice so that believers stop it at the root. Words can either fit the occasion and give grace or corrode souls that hear them. Choose speech that builds, even when naming hard truth. [24:28]
5. Forgive as the forgiven in Christ The command is not transactional but transformational, powered by “as God in Christ forgave you.” Graciousness blends goodness and usefulness, moving toward the other for their benefit. Real unity refuses to make reconciliation conditional on personal terms. The cross settles the terms and sets the pace. [26:20]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:27] - From superficial to sacred
[02:26] - Seeing persons, not profiles
[04:10] - Unmet and unrealistic expectations
[08:10] - Curiosity vs judgment and blame
[11:23] - Ephesians 4:25-32 read aloud
[13:10] - Kindness is honesty, not venting
[18:30] - Anger as a dashboard warning
[21:25] - Move toward reconciliation quickly
[24:28] - Rotten words grieve the Spirit
[26:20] - Kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness
[30:11] - Assume best intent, reject cynicism
[32:29] - Real hills to die on
[37:08] - HEARD listening tool
[41:10] - Come to the Table honestly

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading
Ephesians 4:25-32 (ESV)
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

John 1:14 (ESV)
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Observation Questions

According to Ephesians 4:25-32, what specific actions and attitudes are believers commanded to "put away," and what are they called to replace them with?
The sermon describes a progression of relational decay starting with "hidden bitterness" and ending with "malice" [25:04]. How does this align with Paul’s warnings in Ephesians 4:31?
In John 1:14, Jesus is described as "full of grace and truth." How does the sermon connect this truth to the way believers should approach relationships?

Interpretation Questions

Why does Paul link kindness with truthful speech in Ephesians 4:25, and how does this contrast with cultural ideas of "niceness" or avoiding conflict?
The sermon describes anger as a "dashboard warning light" [18:30]. How does this metaphor help explain the difference between righteous anger and sinful anger?
Ephesians 4:32 commands forgiveness "as God in Christ forgave you." How does the gospel reshape our understanding of forgiveness from a transactional act to a transformational one?

Application Questions

Identify a recent situation where unmet or unrealistic expectations caused frustration. How could curiosity about the other person’s perspective have changed your response?
When anger arises, what practical steps could you take to discern whether it stems from a "Christ-oriented love" (e.g., defending others) or a "me-oriented love" (e.g., protecting pride) [19:13]?
Think of a relationship where bitterness or resentment has taken root. What would it look like to "nip it in the bud" this week by initiating an honest, humble conversation?
The HEARD acronym (Honor, Enter, Ask, Refuse, Draw near) was suggested for active listening [37:08]. Which part of this tool feels most challenging to practice, and how could you grow in that area?
How might assuming "best intent" in a tense conversation shift your posture from defensiveness to grace? Give a specific example from your life.
What "hill to die on" (e.g., politics, preferences) have you treated as non-negotiable in relationships? How could Ephesians 4:3-4 reframe your priorities?

Sermon Clips

28s

#NoMoreSlander

“And then secondly, I'm literally doing something that Christ was crushed for. Think about that. When I slander or I gossip, I am doing something that Christ was crushed for. When we gossip or slander others, we actually look more like the father of lies than our heavenly father. And that should strike us because he's the accuser of the brethren. Think about how he tempts Adam and Eve. I'm sure god didn't really mean that.”

30s

#StopVentingSlander

“So many conflicts could be avoided if we actually just shared how someone's words or actions have affected us rather than later angrily going and gossiping or slandering that person to another person. We've adopted therapeutic language like venting. Have you noticed that? I just need to go vent to someone about what is going on in my heart and in my life. And the Bible, we're actually using venting to excuse what the Bible calls a sin, and that's slander.”

36s

#PickYourHills

“I do believe there are hills that we need to die on for sure. The gospel is a hill to die on. The unity of the church is a hill to die on. The Trinity is a hill to die on. The authority of scripture is a a hill to die on, but there are certain things that are not hills to die on. Politics are not a hill to die on. Personal preferences are not a hill to die on. Cultural traditions are not a hill to die on. Family traditions are not a hill to die on. Getting our own way is not a hill to die on.”

31s

#ForgiveAsChrist

“I love when we look at verse 32 how Paul says to deal with this. He says, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as god in Christ has forgiven you. We begin with Jesus. God in Christ has forgiven and we can be faithful to forgive others. I love what Marvin Vincent says. He says, we have no adjective in English that conveys this blend of being kind and good at the same time. None.”

39s

#PursueWithCuriosity

“If nothing changes though y'all, nothing changes. if we don't begin to pursue one another with genuine Christ like curiosity and care, we're not going to. And god, Jesus is too worthy. The church church's unity is too important for us to disagree on these small things and they blow up and they become something that we can't have fellowship over and in our marriages and in our in our homes and in our friendships, what if we just begin to change and pursue one another with this genuine Christ like curiosity?”

28s

#SpeakImpactNotGossip

“Instead of wallowing in your misery and commiserating with others, instead of wallowing in your anger and your passion against someone, rehearsing it or spreading it to others, seek god in that and move towards the person. And that's how we move from superficial to sacred relationships. It says in '25, to speak the truth with your neighbor for we are members one of another. You can't leave everything unspoken and expect a relationship to deepen. It just doesn't happen.”

29s

#WordsBuildOrBreak

“And when we come honestly to one another, it creates space for unity, maturity, and relational depth. It also keeps us from corrupting talk and moves us towards words that are good for building up one another. And they give grace towards those who hear the word corrupt describes something rotten or decayed like fish gone putrid or fruit turned mushy. Paul is saying that our toxic words do terrible damage to others, and they don't belong within the new life we've been given in Christ.”

38s

#ForgiveToHeal

“watched so many churches suffer over time because people were unwilling to forgive one another. They were unwilling to forgive. I've watched marriages fall apart because people are unwilling to forgive. I've watched friendships fall apart over something so small that led to bitterness and malice, and the relationship just crumbled. Churches, I've seen specifically I've seen people who wanted reconciliation. I've seen it in marriages. I've seen it in other relationships. They wanted reconciliation, but they wanted it on their terms.”

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One Another | Be Kind To One Another (Ephesians 4:25-32) | John Baker

Devotional

Day 1: When Curiosity Fuels Kindness

Day 2: Anger’s Dashboard Light

Day 3: Truth-Telling Without Teeth

Day 4: Bitterness’ Relational Decay

Day 5: Hills Worth Dying On

Sermon Summary

Key Takeaways

Youtube Chapters

Bible Study Guide

Sermon Clips

One Another | Be Kind To One Another (Ephesians 4:25-32) | John Baker

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