How To Be A Peacemaker | Pastor Adam Bishop

Peace is more than a holiday slogan; it is a calling marked by intentional choices shaped by the gospel. Drawing from Romans 12:18, the charge is clear: pursue peace “as far as it depends on you.” That includes acknowledging limits when reconciliation would enable harm or when the other party refuses peace, yet refusing bitterness, grudges, or unforgiveness. From 2 Corinthians 5:17–21, three decisive choices emerge. First, respond to conflict out of the new identity given in Christ, not the injuries of the moment. Those who are in Christ are new creations; the Spirit enables a different response than reflexive anger, defensiveness, or retaliation. What is fed most—either the flesh through distraction and indulgence, or the Spirit through Scripture, prayer, and worship—often shows up in how conflict is handled.

Second, embrace conflict as an opportunity for God to be glorified. God has given His people the ministry and message of reconciliation and calls them His ambassadors. The way believers handle conflict is part of His appeal to a watching world. Practically, that looks like humble, intentional steps: ask God to reveal where personal faults have contributed; schedule a thoughtful time to talk; affirm the relationship before addressing the issue; define the problem and stay on it; use language that names actions and owns feelings (“When you do X, I feel Y”); listen for words and emotions; and then apologize and forgive.

Third, fix attention on the cross rather than the sin. Christ, who knew no sin, became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God. That means the cross is sufficient both for sins committed and sins suffered. When guilt lingers after repentance, or when bitterness lingers after being wronged, the practical unbelief is the same: living as if Christ’s death were not enough. The ground is level at the foot of the cross, and conflict can become a doorway back to that level ground—where grace frees the guilty and softens the wounded, and where reconciliation with God fuels reconciliation with others. For some, the first step toward peace with others is receiving peace with God through Jesus. For others, the next faithful step is to pursue reconciliation in dependence on the Spirit.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. As far as it depends on you Even when peace isn’t possible or safe, the call remains to remove personal barriers—resentment, pride, or retaliation—and to refuse the corrosive work of bitterness. Boundaries and wisdom protect without hardening the heart. Faithfulness isn’t measured by the outcome but by a Spirit-formed posture of integrity, forgiveness, and non-retaliation. [09:13]
• 2. Conflict can glorify God Conflict is not merely to be avoided or “solved” like a math problem; it is an arena where God displays His reconciling power. Christians carry the ministry and message of reconciliation, serving as living appeals from God to the world. How disagreements are navigated—truthfully, humbly, and patiently—either dims or displays the gospel. [11:31]
• 3. Feed the new nature daily Being a new creation does not erase the old impulses; it gives power to choose differently. What fills the mind and heart most often fuels the reflex in tense moments. Scripture, prayer, and worship aren’t busywork; they apprentice the heart to respond from the Spirit rather than the flesh. Spiritual diet shows up in relational reflex. [14:28]
• 4. Practice a gospel-shaped process Pursue reconciliation with intention: ask God to reveal personal fault; set a considerate time; affirm the relationship; define the issue; name actions and own feelings; listen for words and emotion; apologize and forgive. This process dignifies people while addressing problems. It replaces accusation with confession, reactivity with restraint, and stalemate with steps toward peace. [17:34]
• 5. Focus on the cross, not sin The cross is sufficient for the sin you’ve committed and the sin committed against you. Persisting shame after confession or persistent bitterness after injury both whisper that Christ’s sacrifice needs supplementation. Freedom comes by entrusting justice to God, receiving His forgiveness, and extending forgiveness as an act of worship. The cross re-centers the heart and reopens the path to reconciliation. [26:30]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [09:13] - Why peace is difficult
• [11:31] - Conflict as opportunity for God’s glory
• [14:28] - New creation vs. old nature
• [17:34] - A practical path to peacemaking
• [20:37] - Define issues without attacking
• [23:26] - Apologize and forgive well
• [26:30] - Fix your focus on the cross
• [29:32] - Prayer and next steps

Bible reading

- 2 Corinthians 5:17–21

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Observation questions

1. In verse 17, what language does Paul use to describe the change of identity for someone who is “in Christ”? What is “old” and what is “new”?
2. In verses 18–19, who is doing the reconciling, and what two things does God give to believers related to reconciliation?
3. In verse 20, what picture does Paul use for believers, and what does that imply about whose message they carry?
4. Three ways of viewing conflict were named: a situation to avoid, a problem to solve, or an opportunity for God’s glory. Which two were rejected, and which one was affirmed? [11:31]

Interpretation questions

1. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” How should a new identity in Christ shape a person’s first reflex in conflict—especially when old impulses to defend, lash out, or retreat get triggered? What helps determine which reflex shows up? [14:28]
2. If God has given His people “the ministry and message of reconciliation” and calls them “ambassadors,” how does that change the way conflict is approached in everyday places (home, work, school)? How could conflict become a stage where God makes His appeal through His people? [11:31]
3. “God made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us.” How does the sufficiency of the cross speak to lingering shame after repentance or lingering bitterness after being wronged? What practical unbeliefs might keep either of those lingering? [26:30]
4. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” How can someone discern when reconciliation would enable harm or when the other party refuses peace, while still refusing bitterness and choosing forgiveness from the heart? [09:13]

Application questions

1. Think of one strained relationship. Which step of a gospel-shaped process could you take this week—ask God where you’re wrong, plan a time to talk, affirm the relationship, define the issue, use “When you do X, I feel Y,” listen for words and emotion, apologize and forgive? What date and time will you set? [17:34]
2. Over the last seven days, what has most fed your heart—inputs that fuel the flesh or inputs that fuel the Spirit? What is one change you will make this week (Scripture, prayer, worship, media choices) so that your reflex in conflict comes from your new nature? [14:28]
3. Is there a situation where trying to reconcile would put you in harm’s way or where the other party refuses peace? What healthy boundary will you set, and how will you guard your heart from bitterness at the same time? [09:13]
4. Where might God be making His appeal through how you handle a current conflict (home, work, school, online)? What would humility, truthfulness, and patience look like in your next conversation? [11:31]
5. Are you carrying shame for a sin you’ve already confessed? What would it look like to receive Christ’s forgiveness and also forgive yourself this week? Who could help remind you of the gospel and pray with you? [26:30]
6. Is there a wound you’ve been carrying that keeps breeding resentment? Even if reconciliation isn’t possible or safe, what is one step of forgiveness you can take this week as an act of worship, entrusting justice to God? [26:30]
7. Do you tend to say “you always” or “you never” in hard conversations? Try the sentence: “When you do X, I feel Y.” How would you word that for your situation right now? Practice it together with the group. [20:37]