Arguing with Grace: Building Connections in Disagreement
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, everyone. Today, we began with some important announcements, including our upcoming Wednesday night dinners starting on September 11th, and our 65th anniversary celebration on October 6th. We then moved into a time of worship and prayer, asking God to help us feel His presence and share His love with others.
For our young disciples, I shared a lesson using iron pyrite, also known as fool's gold, to illustrate how some people may appear to be Christians but are not truly living out Jesus' teachings. True Christians are those who not only hear Jesus' words but also put them into action.
We then transitioned into our new sermon series, "How to Argue Like a Christian." Contrary to popular belief, Christians do have disagreements, but there is a Christian way to handle them. The key is to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, as James 1:19-20 teaches us. Listening deeply and empathetically can help us connect with others and build relationships, even with those we disagree with.
I shared the story of Narcissus to highlight the dangers of pride and self-obsession, which can hinder our ability to listen and connect with others. Stephen Covey's insights on listening were also discussed, emphasizing the importance of listening to understand rather than to reply.
As we approach election season, it's crucial to remember that political power is not the foundation of God's kingdom. Instead, we should focus on building connections and sharing grace and peace. Talking points often used in political debates are not always conveyors of truth, and we should be cautious of anger and fear tactics that can cloud our reasoning.
Finally, I encouraged everyone to stay unstained by the world, focusing on pure religion that cares for others and builds inclusive communities. As we partake in Holy Communion, whether in person or remotely, let us remember that Christ continues to nourish and lead us as a community of faith.
### Key Takeaways
1. True Christianity in Action: True Christians are distinguished not just by hearing Jesus' words but by putting them into action. This is akin to discerning real gold from fool's gold. Authentic faith is demonstrated through deeds, not just words. [21:16]
2. The Importance of Listening: James 1:19-20 teaches us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Deep, empathetic listening helps us connect with others and build meaningful relationships, even amidst disagreements. [42:16]
3. The Dangers of Pride: The story of Narcissus illustrates how pride and self-obsession can prevent us from truly connecting with others. To argue like a Christian, we must let go of our pride and be open to understanding different perspectives. [40:27]
4. Political Power vs. Kingdom Building: Jesus rejected political power, emphasizing that God's kingdom is built on grace and peace, not political dominance. As Christians, our focus should be on building connections and sharing God's love, rather than winning political debates. [51:09]
5. Staying Unstained by the World: Pure religion involves caring for others and building inclusive communities. We must avoid being influenced by the divisive tactics of the world, such as anger and fear, and instead focus on grace and love. [59:06]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[07:29] - Announcements
[19:33] - Children's Lesson: Fool's Gold
[22:16] - Offering and Prayer
[34:05] - Introduction to Sermon Series: How to Argue Like a Christian
[36:21] - The Reality of Christian Disagreements
[37:24] - The Rules of Polite Conversation
[38:49] - Healthy Ways to Disagree
[40:27] - The Story of Narcissus
[42:16] - James 1:19-20: Quick to Listen
[43:57] - Stephen Covey on Listening
[45:17] - Levels of Listening
[51:09] - Jesus and Political Power
[54:55] - The Role of Anger and Fear in Politics
[59:06] - Pure Religion and Community Building
[01:00:51] - Holy Communion Invitation
[01:02:28] - Closing Blessing
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. James 1:19-20: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
2. Matthew 4:8-10: "Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 'All this I will give you,' he said, 'if you will bow down and worship me.' Jesus said to him, 'Away from me, Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'"
3. James 1:27: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
### Observation Questions
1. According to James 1:19-20, what are the three key behaviors Christians should exhibit in their interactions with others? [42:16]
2. In the story of Narcissus shared in the sermon, what was the main flaw that led to his downfall? [40:27]
3. How did Jesus respond to the temptation of political power in Matthew 4:8-10? [51:09]
4. What does James 1:27 define as "pure and faultless" religion? [59:06]
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does James emphasize being "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry"? How does this align with the concept of arguing like a Christian? [42:16]
2. How can pride, as illustrated by the story of Narcissus, hinder our ability to connect with others and argue in a Christian manner? [40:27]
3. What does Jesus' rejection of political power in Matthew 4:8-10 teach us about the nature of God's kingdom and our role in it? [51:09]
4. How does James 1:27 challenge us to live out our faith in practical ways, especially in the context of community and social justice? [59:06]
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent disagreement you had. How could being "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" have changed the outcome? [42:16]
2. Think of a time when pride affected your ability to listen to someone else's perspective. How can you work on letting go of pride in future conversations? [40:27]
3. In what ways can you focus on building connections and sharing grace and peace, rather than engaging in political debates? How can this approach impact your relationships? [51:09]
4. How can you stay "unstained by the world" in your daily life? Identify specific actions you can take to care for others and build inclusive communities. [59:06]
5. When you feel anger or fear during a political discussion, what steps can you take to pause and reflect before responding? How can this practice help you engage more constructively? [56:51]
6. Identify a person in your life with whom you often disagree. What practical steps can you take to listen more empathetically and understand their perspective better? [43:57]
7. How can you incorporate the principles of pure religion, as defined in James 1:27, into your daily interactions and community involvement? [59:06]
Devotional
Day 1: Authentic Faith in Action
True Christians are distinguished not just by hearing Jesus' words but by putting them into action. This is akin to discerning real gold from fool's gold. Authentic faith is demonstrated through deeds, not just words. [21:16]
In our daily lives, it is easy to encounter people who may appear to be Christians but do not live out the teachings of Jesus. Just as iron pyrite, or fool's gold, can deceive with its appearance, so can superficial faith. True Christianity is not about outward appearances or mere words; it is about embodying the teachings of Jesus in our actions. This means loving our neighbors, showing compassion, and living out the principles of the Gospel in tangible ways.
Reflect on your own life and consider whether your actions align with the teachings of Jesus. Are you living out your faith in a way that others can see and feel? Authentic faith is not just about what we say but what we do. It is about being the hands and feet of Jesus in a world that desperately needs His love and grace.
James 2:17 (ESV): "So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead."
Reflection: Think of one specific way you can put your faith into action today. How can you demonstrate the love of Jesus through your deeds?
Day 2: The Power of Empathetic Listening
James 1:19-20 teaches us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Deep, empathetic listening helps us connect with others and build meaningful relationships, even amidst disagreements. [42:16]
Listening is a powerful tool in building relationships and resolving conflicts. James 1:19-20 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. This approach fosters understanding and empathy, allowing us to connect with others on a deeper level. When we listen to understand rather than to reply, we create a space for genuine dialogue and mutual respect.
Empathetic listening requires us to set aside our own agendas and truly hear the other person's perspective. It involves being present, attentive, and open-hearted. By practicing this kind of listening, we can bridge divides, heal wounds, and build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Proverbs 18:13 (ESV): "If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame."
Reflection: Think of a recent disagreement you had. How could you have listened more empathetically? What steps can you take to improve your listening skills in future conversations?
Day 3: Letting Go of Pride
The story of Narcissus illustrates how pride and self-obsession can prevent us from truly connecting with others. To argue like a Christian, we must let go of our pride and be open to understanding different perspectives. [40:27]
Pride can be a significant barrier to meaningful connections and healthy disagreements. The story of Narcissus, who was so enamored with his own reflection that he could not see beyond himself, serves as a cautionary tale. When we are consumed by pride and self-obsession, we become unable to truly listen to others or understand their perspectives.
To argue like a Christian, we must let go of our pride and approach conversations with humility and openness. This means valuing others' viewpoints, admitting when we are wrong, and being willing to learn and grow. By doing so, we can foster a spirit of unity and mutual respect, even in the midst of disagreements.
Philippians 2:3 (ESV): "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Reflection: Reflect on a time when pride hindered your ability to connect with someone. How can you practice humility in your interactions with others this week?
Day 4: Building God's Kingdom, Not Political Power
Jesus rejected political power, emphasizing that God's kingdom is built on grace and peace, not political dominance. As Christians, our focus should be on building connections and sharing God's love, rather than winning political debates. [51:09]
In a world where political power often takes center stage, it is essential to remember that Jesus' kingdom is not of this world. Jesus rejected political power and instead focused on building a kingdom founded on grace, peace, and love. As Christians, our mission is not to dominate politically but to share God's love and build meaningful connections with others.
During election seasons and political debates, it is easy to get caught up in the rhetoric and lose sight of our true calling. We must remember that our ultimate allegiance is to God's kingdom, not to any political party or ideology. By focusing on grace and peace, we can rise above the divisive tactics of the world and be true ambassadors of Christ's love.
John 18:36 (ESV): "Jesus answered, 'My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.'"
Reflection: How can you prioritize building God's kingdom over political debates in your daily interactions? What steps can you take to share God's love and grace with others, especially those with different political views?
Day 5: Pure Religion and Community Building
Pure religion involves caring for others and building inclusive communities. We must avoid being influenced by the divisive tactics of the world, such as anger and fear, and instead focus on grace and love. [59:06]
True religion, as described in the Bible, is not about rituals or outward appearances but about caring for others and building inclusive communities. James 1:27 reminds us that pure and undefiled religion is to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. This means actively seeking to help those in need and creating spaces where everyone feels valued and included.
In a world that often uses anger and fear to divide, Christians are called to be agents of grace and love. We must resist the temptation to be influenced by the world's divisive tactics and instead focus on building communities that reflect the inclusive and compassionate nature of God's kingdom. By doing so, we can be a light in the darkness and a source of hope for those around us.
James 1:27 (ESV): "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
Reflection: Think of a way you can contribute to building an inclusive community in your church or neighborhood. How can you show God's love to someone who may feel marginalized or overlooked?
Quotes
1. "You know that there are some Christians out there who are not really Christians but they call themselves Christians? You know how you can tell them, you can tell them apart? There's a passage in scripture that says there are hearers, people who hear what Jesus says, and there's another group of people who do, who does what Jesus says. Guess which ones are the real Christians? The ones who hear it or the ones who do it? The ones who do it, that's right. That's how you can tell a real Christian from somebody who may not be a real Christian at all." [21:16] (32 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "The truth is that we can be filled with grace and still have disagreements with one another. And I think it's important that we learn how to deal with those disagreements, how we learn to talk with one another, how we figure those things out. And there is, believe it or not, there is a Christian way And then, of course, the example of our culture, there's plenty of non-Christian ways to do that as well." [36:21] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "One you will see throughout this series is that as we disagree, as we argue, as Christians, there is a way that we can be brought together through those disagreements, which is not the goal of the techniques that we were taught through watching our politicians in this next season. I think there's a vast difference, and I think we have a chance to witness two healthy ways to disagree and be examples to our society and to our friend groups on how we can disagree and still be friends, still be connected, still recognize each other as children of God." [38:49] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "We can be like narcissists if we are too fond of our image, too fond of our ideas, too fond of our ways of doing things, too fond of our own viewpoints. We've got a little term called narcissism that is based on this story of narcissists. Really, there's another word that we use in the church. It's called pride that is at the heart of this issue that is there, that we like our stuff so much that we think it's the best in the world, and we're not going to give it up, and we're going to make sure others know about it as we go about our lives." [41:09] (45 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "First of all, we have to give up kind of our own pride, our own desire to be right. We have to listen to what the other person is saying. We have to listen to what the other person is saying. We have to listen before we speak. And then if we get moved to anger, we have to recognize that we're moving out of God's plan. We're moving away from God's desire and God's teaching on how we connect with one another. Anger is a warning." [42:16] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "Listening not with the idea that, oh, it's going to be my turn to talk here in a minute and I get to zing something back at you, but listening rather as a form of communication to connect with that other person. I think that's what James is telling us. Be quick to listen because that is what, that connects us. It sets the tone to start with. If we have a discussion and I just begin talking or I'm just listening to respond, then I'm setting the tone for that conversation and I'm liable to get back what I'm putting out there." [45:17] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "If we listen first, if we are quick to listen, then we have an opportunity to actually share those things because we begin to create that connection. Now, Covey goes on to say there's different levels of listening. And these are the, four levels that he talks about. He says the first level of listening is simply to reconfirm your own opinion. So to listen until you hear the bits that you agree with or that you like, this is called confirmation bias if you want to look it up." [46:19] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "The kingdom is not built with political power. The kingdom is not built upon that. It is built with grace and peace, and it's built through the connections that we create with one another. So these discussions we're having are important. I'm not saying that. They're just not part of the kingdom. I would love for us to be kingdom builders instead of nation builders. I would love for us to be connecting with one another. Even those that we have different viewpoints from. Maybe especially those. I think Jesus said something like that one time." [51:09] (38 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
9. "Talking points do not equate with truth. The goal of talking points is not to convey truth. You ever thought of that? Talking points are created, are designed to win the debate. To somehow paint the other person, to paint the opponent as evil or demonic somehow, or to twist the truth, or the record, or what have you, to make it seem like you'd be foolish to vote for the other person. Talking points are not conveyors of truth." [52:04] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
10. "Pure religion is one that breaks down the walls between all of those who are created by God. It forms connections where we form a community where everyone is included, not where there's those who are good and those who are bad, but one that contains everyone and everyone is loved. To be unstained by the world means that we cannot be convinced that the world is whole unless everyone is included, unless that community is formed, unless grace is shared." [59:06] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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