Learning Prayer This Advent: Silence, Listening, Fidelity

Devotional

Day 1: Christ gives himself to us in the Eucharist.

The bread and wine are not merely symbols but Christ offering himself for the life of the world; presence and self-gift are the heart of this mystery. Approaching the Eucharist is an encounter with the one who has given his body and blood so that his people might be nourished and made one. Let this Advent be marked by a renewed reverence for the sacrament that prepares hearts for Christ’s coming. [48:59]

Luke 22:19-20 (ESV)
And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, "This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood."

Reflection: Today, spend five minutes in the presence of the Eucharist (or before a consecrated host if you can); write one simple sentence of gratitude for Christ’s self-gift and keep it on your phone to reread this week.

Day 2: Christ grants his peace, not worldly tranquilities.

True peace comes from Jesus and is deeper than the relief the world offers; it calms hearts even amid trials. When Christ says, "My peace I give to you," he invites trust that removes fear and anxiety and steadies the soul. Let this promise shape how you approach the busyness and noise of Advent. [53:24]

John 14:27 (ESV)
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

Reflection: When an anxious thought arises today, pause, breathe for thirty seconds, and then say John 14:27 aloud once; notice and record in one sentence any small change in your body or mind.

Day 3: Jesus is the Lamb who removes sin.

John the Baptist’s cry, "Behold, the Lamb of God," points to Jesus as the one who takes away sin and restores relationship with the Father. This truth invites honest confession and the courage to leave burdens at his feet because he has already borne them. In Advent, let the Lamb’s mercy free you to welcome the coming of the Savior. [53:24]

John 1:29 (ESV)
The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!"

Reflection: Write down one small burden or regret you have kept private; then, aloud or silently, address it to Jesus with the words, "Behold the Lamb of God," and crumple or set the paper aside as a sign of letting it go.

Day 4: Praise God from rising to setting.

The prayer of the Church lifts the Lord’s name across every hour of the day; praise shapes vision and reorients the heart toward gratitude. Noticing and naming God’s work from morning to evening trains the soul to see Christ’s presence in ordinary moments. Use Advent to practice vocal and simple praise so that your heart is attentive to the coming of the Lord. [45:54]

Psalm 113:3 (ESV)
From the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the LORD is to be praised!

Reflection: Tonight before bed, list three specific things from today you can praise God for and say them aloud slowly, thanking him for each one.

Day 5: Prayer is honest dialogue and attentive listening.

Prayer is not only speaking but also sitting in silence so the Lord can speak to the heart; honesty before God is the doorway to true conversation. Show up with the rawness of your feelings—joy, doubt, anger, longing—and then practice stillness so the gentle promptings of the Spirit can be heard. Find a place set apart, even for a few minutes, and let this discipline deepen your union with Christ this Advent. [21:48]

Matthew 6:6 (ESV)
But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Reflection: Today, set aside five minutes in a quiet, reserved place; speak one honest sentence from your heart to God, then sit in silence for two minutes and write the first word that comes to your mind.

Sermon Summary

Happy New Year! With Advent we step into a new liturgical year and turn our ears toward Matthew. But “new year, new us” only makes sense if becoming “new” means becoming more like Jesus. I was reminded in a recent conversation that self-improvement and faith can’t be separated. For us, human perfection is Christlikeness; there’s no other pattern that actually fulfills the human heart. And if we become like those we spend time with, then the path is clear: we must spend time with Christ in prayer.

Prayer is more than reciting beautiful words; it’s a living dialogue. I had to learn this the hard way. Silence used to terrify me—I’d fill holy hours with books because stillness felt empty. Slowly, the Lord taught me to be still, to speak honestly from my heart, and then to listen. The shift came when I stopped “prettifying” my soul before God and let Him meet me in the raw truth of what I actually felt and feared. He already knows—but He wants to hear it from us.

Listening is not about waiting for a voice from the ceiling. Often it’s a quiet movement, a word, an image, a Scripture that carries a surprising peace. I shared how a simple image—a rusty pickup at daybreak—became a window into God’s steady fidelity and His desire for mine. Of course, not every thought in prayer comes from God. St. Ignatius teaches us to discern by the fruits: the Lord’s voice brings peace and joy; the enemy traffics in fear, shame, and agitation.

A few anchors help. First, prayer is always response. God begins; we receive. Keep Him at the center—if I’m absorbed in myself apart from Him, I’m not really praying. Second, make a place set apart. Sacred space trains the heart to attend. Third, let silence be your teacher. Show up, speak honestly, and listen patiently. And don’t panic about dryness. As many saints note, God sometimes withdraws the felt sweetness so our roots go deeper into Him, the Giver, not merely His gifts. Advent is a grace-filled time to open our hearts—ask boldly, expect faithfully, and let Him prepare you to receive Him more fully at Christmas.

Key Takeaways

1. Human perfection is Christlikeness alone. Our deepest flourishing isn’t “a better version of me,” but sharing the very life and likeness of Jesus. Anything less leaves us orbiting ourselves, restless and unsatisfied. Advent invites a re-centering: set your gaze on Christ and let Him define what “better” means. Holiness is union with Him, not self-improvement techniques. [19:46]
2. Move from saying to praying. Rote prayers train the heart, but they’re meant to usher us into real conversation. Speak to God as you truly are—unfiltered, honest, specific—and then listen. Let memorized words become a doorway, not a wall. The goal is communion, not performance. [21:20]
3. Learn to hear and discern peace. God’s voice in prayer often arrives as a quiet clarity, a word, an image, accompanied by peace and steadiness. Not every thought is from Him; test the spirits. Where fear, shame, and turmoil dominate, resist; where peace and humble courage grow, consent. Practice this discernment and your prayer will deepen. [28:55]
4. Make sacred space and show up. Attention follows environment. Create a place reserved for prayer—or go to the adoration chapel—so your heart learns where to listen. Show up consistently, even when nothing “happens.” Presence changes us slowly and truly, like sunlight through a window we didn’t realize was warming the room. [30:40]
5. Dry seasons deepen your roots. When consolation fades, God is not absent; He’s inviting deeper love for Him rather than for His gifts. Dryness stretches desire, purifies motives, and anchors trust. Stay faithful in the desert—the roots grow where the water truly is. [33:25]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[18:53] - Advent begins; Year A in Matthew
[19:46] - Human perfection: becoming like Christ
[20:47] - Learning prayer, not just saying prayers
[21:48] - Prayer as two-way conversation
[22:11] - Facing silence before the Lord
[23:41] - Bring your heart honestly to God
[25:41] - “Lord, how do You see me?”
[26:50] - The pickup truck and fidelity
[28:55] - Discernment: peace versus fear
[29:33] - God initiates; we respond in prayer
[30:40] - Set apart a place for prayer
[33:25] - Dryness that deepens our roots
[35:44] - Advent: open wide and ask big
[53:24] - Announcement: Hallow Advent challenge

Bible Study Guide

Bible reading (ESV)
- Matthew 5:48 — "You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
- John 15:4–5 — "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
- Psalm 46:10 — "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

Observation questions (look closely at the text and the sermon examples)

Read Matthew 5:48. What does "perfect" mean in light of the claim that human perfection is being like Christ? How does this reshape the idea of "being a better version of myself"? (compare with [19:46])
Read John 15:4–5. What images of dependence and fruitfulness are used? Where in your life do you feel most "connected" to Christ, and where most "cut off"?
Read Psalm 46:10. How does "Be still" help explain what listening in prayer looks like when words stop and attention remains? (compare with the struggle around silence in prayer [22:11])
Recall the pickup-truck image shared about fidelity. Which details in that image pointed to God's faithfulness and to the invited response of showing up? (see [26:50])

Interpretation questions (seek meaning that leads toward action)

How does interpreting Matthew 5:48 as Christlikeness change the priorities for personal growth and spiritual disciplines this Advent? (see the claim about human perfection [19:46])
If John 15 portrays abiding as the source of fruit, how should that affect the way prayer is understood as a response to God's initiative rather than as primarily self-driven effort? (compare with the point that God initiates prayer [29:33])
According to Ignatian discernment noted in the talk, what practical tests (fruit of peace vs. fear/shame) should be applied when a thought or image arises in prayer before assuming it is from God? (see [28:55])
How should the "dryness" of prayer be interpreted: as spiritual failure, or as a refining gift that deepens roots? What biblical or pastoral markers distinguish one from the other? (compare with the dryness reflection [33:25])

Application questions (specific, personal steps to grow in prayer and Christlikeness)

Where are you aiming for "a better version" of yourself rather than for Christlikeness? Pick one area (speech, anger, generosity, patience, etc.) and name one concrete habit to re-center that growth on Jesus this Advent. ([19:46])
List the people, habits, and media that shape you most. Which of these draw you toward Christ, and which draw you away? Choose one change you will make this week to increase time spent with Christ (e.g., move a device-free hour, go to adoration, join a prayer group). ([20:22])
Recall a recent prayer when you edited or "prettified" what you felt. Plan a short prayer this week where you will speak plainly and rawly to God about that issue. When will you do it, and what will you say first? ([24:25])
Commit to one time this week to sit in silence in a place set apart for prayer (a corner at home, a chapel, or another quiet spot). How long will you sit, and what will you do when the urge to escape silence comes? ([30:40])
The next time an image, word, or thought arises in prayer, practice the Ignatian test: sit with it and notice whether it brings peace, joy, and courage or fear, shame, and agitation. Describe one small decision this week where you will use that test before acting. ([28:55])
If prayer feels dry this week, list three small faithful actions you will keep doing (e.g., same prayer time, reading one verse, lighting a candle). How will you remind yourself that dryness can deepen roots rather than signal abandonment? ([33:25])
Write down one "big" request to bring to God this Advent—something you will ask boldly and expectantly. When will you bring it to prayer and who, if anyone, will hold you accountable to keep asking? ([35:44])

Sermon Clips

``What I realized was, for us, human perfection being better is truly being more like Christ. There's no other way to understand human perfection. There's no other way to understand being better versions of ourselves than being more like Christ. That's what it means to be perfect. And so the religion and, you know, improvement, human improvement for us is not understood apart from each other. That was the big thing. That was the alarm bell going off in my head. It was like, that was the thing. So if we're meant to be more like Christ, well, we have to understand that we are most like those who we spend the most time with. [00:19:56] (45 seconds) #MoreLikeChrist

But the first, one of the things I learned is that no, that's not how we should approach prayer. If we're relating our heart to the Lord, we should truly relate our heart to the Lord. Truly reveal to the Lord what is going on in an open and honest and raw way. That was the piece that was most moving for me is the rawness in expressing ourselves to the Lord. Because it's true, while He already, He is omniscient, He knows all things, He wants to hear it from us. [00:24:21] (30 seconds) #RawHeartPrayer

That's why St. Ignatius of Loyola's discernment of spirits is so good because his whole thing is discerning what is of the Lord, what isn't from the Lord and what is just kind of our own mind going. And the big kind of fruit of like what is the voice of the Lord is, is where the peace is. If something is coming into our hearts in prayer and there's a peace around it and a joy around it, most likely that's from the Lord. If there's this anxiety, fear, shame around it, it's most likely not from the Lord. The Lord doesn't speak through fear, he speaks through peace. [00:28:26] (39 seconds) #DiscernWithPeace

But I just want to leave you with maybe just some things to keep in mind to guide our prayer because as I said, the deepest fulfillment and joy that we can experience as human beings is being more like Christ, which is more united to the Lord. And so that's why prayer is so important. So just some things to keep in mind. The first thing to keep in mind is that prayer is always a response on our part. We never, as human beings, are initiating prayer. God is always the one initiating prayer and he's always the one lovingly inviting us to pray. [00:29:11] (35 seconds) #GodInitiatesPrayer

Every time we go to pray, we close the door, we go to the chapel is a response to something the Lord is already doing. We are always kind of the passive receiving party in prayer. And so it's always the Lord's initiative and the Lord is always the protagonist of our prayer. He's always the subject of our prayer. Our own joy, happiness, fulfillment, and improvement, the desires being satisfied in our own heart is always in relation to the Lord and is always affected by moving closer to him and setting our gaze upon him. [00:29:47] (39 seconds) #ReceiveAndGaze

It was very hard to be able to to focus on the Lord because we kind of need if we're going to pray we need to set up the blinders we need to set up the privacy folder to block out all of the other things in our life that's why we as Catholics are big on sacred space like that's why we have the church set aside set apart for church stuff we don't do coffee and donuts in here we do it out there we do mass in here and we only do mass really in here because we have a place set apart for that and so my encouragement is to find a place either if it's in your own house that's set apart exclusively for prayer or to go somewhere reserved for prayer. [00:31:33] (43 seconds) #SetApartForPrayer

The hot take really I think the best place if we want to to pray is really the adoration chapel maybe I'm just imprinting my own experience onto all of you but really that's what I've found because it's you know it's a place set apart it's not used for anything else other than prayer and it's a good place to go to especially enter into that silence because it's in the silence of our hearts the Lord speaks and then off of that to both speak and listen the listening part of prayer is super important to be able to still our minds and hearts and to let the Lord do what he's going to do. [00:32:16] (42 seconds) #AdorationAndListening

If you're planting crop that you want it the farmers will want it to rain early on and then you won't want it to rain for a bit because you want the roots to go deep to find the deeper more sustainable source of water if the roots remain too high up too shallow the crop will fail you want them to bury deep and that's what the dryness in our prayer can do our roots are burying deep to find the more sustainable source of water which is the Lord himself not necessarily what he's given us the person who has given them to us. [00:35:00] (33 seconds) #DeepRootsInPrayer

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