Three Ingredients for Relationships that Go the Distance | Part 2

Devotional

Day 1: The King’s Arm Around Them

Jesus stood beside the woman at the well, his presence redefining her worth. The disciples watched as he treated her like someone worth saving—not because of her reputation, but because she bore God’s image. Paul echoes this posture: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Your coworker, neighbor, or spouse carries divine dignity. [32:05]

Mutual submission begins by seeing people through Jesus’ eyes. When He stood with the Samaritan woman, He saw her potential, not just her past. Paul insists we treat others not based on their merit, but because Christ claims them. This flips power dynamics—authority becomes service.

Ask yourself: How would your tone shift if Jesus physically stood beside that difficult person? Practice seeing their inherent worth before reacting. Write down one relationship where you’ve withheld respect. What concrete step could honor their God-given value today?

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
(Ephesians 5:21, ESV)

Prayer: Ask God to make you aware of three people today who need you to see them as He does.

Challenge: Text one person this phrase: “How can I support you this week?”

Day 2: Dying to Be Heard

Christ hung on the cross, surrendering His rights to rescue the Church. Paul tells husbands, “Love your wives as Christ loved the Church”—a call to lay down preferences, pride, and power. First-century men reeled; Roman law already gave husbands total control. But Jesus redefined leadership as sacrifice. [40:52]

Love here isn’t sentimental—it’s strategic surrender. Jesus didn’t negotiate with the cross. He chose the nails to give His bride life. Paul challenges husbands to lead through self-denial, not demands. This isn’t about hierarchy but holy partnership.

Where do you insist on your way in relationships? Identify one area this week where you’ll prioritize someone else’s need over your convenience. What would it cost you to say, “Your turn first”?

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
(Ephesians 5:25, ESV)

Prayer: Confess one selfish habit in a key relationship and ask for courage to replace it with sacrifice.

Challenge: Before dinner tonight, ask your spouse or family member, “What’s one thing I could do tomorrow to make your day better?”

Day 3: The Unthinkable Invitation

Roman wives expected submission; Paul’s shocker was commanding husbands to love. In a culture where men held legal power over wives, Paul leveled the field: mutual submission. Wives weren’t told to grovel—they were reminded their surrender was ultimately to Christ, not flawed men. [36:04]

Jesus elevated women in a world that silenced them. By linking wives’ submission to their devotion to Him, Paul protected them from abuse. Mutual submission guards against tyranny—both partners bow to Christ’s authority first.

When have you demanded your way because “it’s your right”? Choose one interaction today where you’ll lead with humility instead of leverage. How might yielding reflect Christ’s heart?

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."
(Ephesians 5:22, ESV)

Prayer: Thank Jesus for valuing you enough to die for you, then pray for someone who struggles to feel valued.

Challenge: Write a note affirming a woman in your life, specifically naming how she reflects God’s image.

Day 4: The Boss Who Serves

Jesus washed feet, modeling that greatness serves. Paul’s mutual submission principle works in offices, not just homes. Imagine a CEO taking out the trash or a teacher staying late—authority chooses to lift others. [25:19]

Christ’s leadership disrupted systems. He fed crowds, healed outsiders, and honored children. When we submit to colleagues or employees, we mirror His upside-down kingdom. Productivity grows where dignity thrives.

Who reports to you or looks up to you? Plan one act of service this week that surprises them. What mundane task could you take off their plate to show their worth?

"Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant."
(Mark 10:43, ESV)

Prayer: Ask God to reveal one way your workplace culture could shift if you led like Jesus.

Challenge: For every directive you give today, pair it with an offer to help complete the task.

Day 5: The Question That Reshapes

Jesus asked, “What do you want me to do for you?”—a question that honors agency. Paul’s “submit to one another” finds feet in three words: “How can I help?” [49:24]

This question disarms defenses. It shifts focus from winning to serving. When the early church asked it, they sold property to feed strangers. They turned the Roman world upside down by lifting others up.

Who avoids you because they expect judgment? Reach out this week with that question. What broken relationship might heal if you stopped arguing and started assisting?

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
(Galatians 6:2, ESV)

Prayer: Pray for someone you’ve criticized recently, then ask God how to tangibly help them.

Challenge: Perform one unrequested act of service for a neighbor before sunset.

Sermon Summary

The message unfolds a practical, countercultural posture for every relationship: mutual submission rooted in reverence for Christ. Drawing on New Testament teaching, it frames Jesus not as an abstract ideal but as the standard for how people should treat one another. Instead of reducing love to feeling, the text insists on concrete action. The apostle Paul’s command to submit to one another shifts relational cues away from family background, social status, or personal estimation, and toward the worth Jesus attributes to every person. That posture reshapes workplaces, neighborhoods, and homes by creating space for other people to flourish and by improving communication and execution when leaders model it.

The text shows how Paul applies the general posture to marriage without making marriage the whole point. Wives are called to submit as unto the Lord, which points back to the mutual command rather than granting husbands unilateral authority. Husbands receive a distinct, higher calling: to love sacrificially just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up. That standard raises the moral bar, reframes leadership as servanthood, and turns marriage into a contest of who will put the other first.

History appears in view as well. Christianity introduced and codified a radical claim about human dignity in a culture that treated women as property. When mutual submission takes root, communities begin to reflect that claim. At the same time, the teaching refuses to bless abuse; submission never requires remaining in dangerous or dehumanizing situations. The posture of mutual submission asks people to prioritize the value God assigns to others and to act on that valuation in ordinary ways.

The practical center lands on a single, transforming question: What can I do to help? Asking that question breaks patterns of pride and self-preservation, and it trains people to bear one another’s burdens in tangible ways. When people ask and act, those actions become acts of worship because they ascribe worth to others in the way God does. The overall challenge invites everyday experiments in humility that can change households, workplaces, and cities when Jesus’ reverence governs how people treat one another.

Key Takeaways

1. Mutual submission reshapes relationships Mutual submission reorients daily interactions from self-protection to active service. Adopting this posture means looking for ways to support others rather than waiting for reciprocal merit. Over time, small acts of putting others first compound and create cultures of trust and cooperation. Mutual submission proves more practical than sentimental because it names behavior rather than feeling. [34:12]
2. Submit out of reverence for Christ Submission gains moral power when it flows from how God values people rather than from human judgment. Responding out of reverence for Christ prevents relationships from hinging on personal worthiness and instead reflects divine dignity. That perspective changes tone, not silence; it enables honest correction delivered with respect. Reverence keeps difficult conversations accountable to God’s standard. [28:40]
3. Husbands must love sacrificially as Christ The command to love as Christ loved raises leadership from authority to self-giving. True leadership in marriage requires repeatedly choosing the other’s good over personal preference, even at cost. That kind of love models redemption more than dominance and resists cultural pressures to assert power. Sacrificial love reforms household rhythms into a race to serve. [39:09]
4. Ask, What can I do to help? This simple question translates theology into action and exposes where pride governs time and resources. Asking invites concrete exchanges of burden bearing and creates opportunities to practice submission. The question calls people with influence to leverage resources for others and invites reciprocity without transaction. Repeating this question trains communities to carry each other’s loads. [49:24]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[04:10] - Announcements and events
[19:04] - Series introduction
[21:45] - Paul’s overarching idea
[28:02] - The posture of submission introduced
[34:12] - Mutual submission explained
[35:32] - Wives and the Lord
[39:09] - Husbands: love like Christ
[43:24] - Cultural impact and dignity
[45:47] - Abuse and pastoral care
[49:24] - Practical question: How can I help
[52:58] - Worship as ascribing worth
[54:16] - Closing prayer and homework

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading
Ephesians 5:21–25 (ESV)
21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Observation questions

What specific command does Paul give to all believers in Ephesians 5:21, and what motivation does he provide for it?
How does Paul’s instruction to husbands in verse 25 differ from his instruction to wives in verse 22, and what comparison does he use to define the husband’s role?
According to the sermon, why was Paul’s teaching on mutual submission radical in the first-century Greco-Roman world? [43:24]

Interpretation questions

Why might Paul have chosen the word “submit” instead of “love” when addressing relationships broadly (Ephesians 5:21)? How does this clarify the practical nature of love?
The sermon emphasizes that mutual submission “levels the playing field” in relationships. How does Christ’s sacrificial love for the church (v. 25) redefine leadership in marriage? [39:09]
How does asking “What can I do to help?” shift relational dynamics from self-focus to service, and why is this question tied to worship? [52:58]

Application questions

In your closest relationships (marriage, family, friendships), where do you find it easiest to prioritize others? Where is it most challenging? What practical step could you take this week to “submit” in one of those challenging areas?
Husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church” (v. 25). What would it look like to sacrifice a personal preference or comfort this week to actively serve your spouse (or a key relationship if unmarried)?
The sermon suggests asking “What can I do to help?” as a daily habit. Who in your life (work, neighborhood, family) might need this question asked of them right now? What hesitation do you feel about asking, and how could reverence for Christ reshape your response? [49:24]
Mutual submission requires seeing others’ worth through God’s eyes. Is there someone you struggle to respect or value? How might visualizing Jesus “standing next to them with his arm around their shoulder” change your attitude or actions toward them? [32:05]
The sermon warns against using submission to justify staying in abusive situations. How can communities balance mutual submission with protecting the vulnerable? What boundaries might need to be set in relationships to honor dignity? [45:47]

Sermon Clips

53s

#WorshipIsAction

“Because worship isn't singing. And I love singing. I get here early. I get to sit through all the music three times. Okay? I love it. But worship is more than singing, I should say. Worship is ascribing worth. And when you do for me, instead of doing for you, you have ascribed worth to me because of the worth you believe your heavenly father has given to me. And the same goes the other way. It is an act of worship. We've been invited to show worth ship to our God by the way we treat the people who were made in his image. And that is a relational game changer. It starts somewhere, so why not let it start with you? And speaking of you, I hope you will be here next week as we wrap up our series. And look, there it is.”

47s

#RespondWithReverence

“And Paul is suggesting this is a big idea. And wow, if the church ever got this right, wow. In fact, once upon a time it did, it's what got the Roman Empire's attention eventually. But Paul is suggesting that we contextualize everybody we meet and everybody we interact with differently. That we are to respond to them out of reverence for Jesus. Now the thing is we all know how to do this, we just don't always do it. You have, at some point, maybe even today, you have responded to an individual out of reverence for somebody they either represented or were or are related to. We all know how to do this. It's not just the person in front of us, it's what they represent.”

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Three Ingredients for Relationships that Go the Distance | Part 2 | Andy Stanley