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``I understood that while ending my life would have stopped things from ever getting worse, but it also would have stopped anything from ever getting better. And I'm so grateful that I held on to hope long enough to see the one who was working the whole time to make sure I was okay. And as I was sitting there still praying, I had ninety three point seven UCB radio on, and a song came on called Flowers by Samantha Everett. If you get the chance to listen to it, I think you'll understand why it felt like God was speaking directly to me in that moment.